Christmas was always one of the most dreadful times of the year for me. I felt lonelier than ever when all my friends made plans to be with their loved ones. I, on the other hand, was on my own. My parents both lived abroad and we had never really been close to our relatives. But there was something about this year, and I knew my amazing boyfriend was going to change my perception of the dreadful holiday.
“Don’t worry. This year I have made special plans for us. We’re going to change everything, and by the end of it, you will believe me when I say that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. I won’t be able to spend the actual day with you, I have a work trip. But I will make sure that you enjoy it.” Kamau said.
There was something about his conviction in that statement that made me believe him, and that’s why I loved him so much. He was believable and he made me feel at ease. With him, I would never be anxious or insecure. I always thought that he was the one until life taught me otherwise.
In the Christmas spirit, Kamau started by buying me a huge Christmas tree which we decorated together as we drank a bottle of wine. At the end of it, he lifted me as I placed the star on the top of the tree. My house looked pretty and I was grateful.
Two weeks before Christmas, Kamau showed up at my house, asked me to get dressed and said that he had a surprise for me.
“Just dress casually and carry a khanga,” he said. But even he knew that my vocabulary had no space for casual dressing. I always went over the top.
We arrived at Karen Blixen in what was the perfect setup. A huge screen was at the front, and people had settled down. There was a lot of food from various vendors, and we started with a bottle of wine and pizza. We sang along to various Christmas carols, and suddenly I felt like all was right with the world. It was a heavenly experience.
I arrived back home extremely grateful and happy for the experience. Now, to wait for what Kamau called the biggest surprise of the year – a Christmas treat. I couldn’t contain myself. I was like a child who had been robbed of experiences, now finally anticipating them as an adult.
Kamau set up a Christmas eve date. It was an exquisite restaurant with the most beautiful decor. I prayed silently that the food would be as good as the ambience, and I was not disappointed.
“So darling, since I am travelling for work tomorrow, I’ve booked a room for you at my friend’s hotel. Enjoy all you want. They have a spa, gym, great food and all. You can spend two nights there and I will be with you on the evening of the 27th,” he said.
I blushed. This was possibly the sweetest thing any man had ever done for me. I would definitely be having the best Christmas. I looked at him and smiled as I continued to eat.
A few minutes later, Kamau stood up for a washroom break. This time, he left his phone with me. It was extremely unlike him and I knew he had forgotten to go with it. The curiosity in me made me to take it and snoop through. I could remember his password, even though I had never taken his phone without him being in the know.
The first thing I landed on was a Whatsapp group – Kamau weds Abby. My heart skipped a beat. I checked to see the profile picture and my worst fears were confirmed. It was a poster of my Kamau holding a girl’s hand, who I guessed was Abby. The poster had details of an introduction ceremony that was to take place on the 26th of December. So that explained everything.
I was confused for a moment. I confronted him about it, and he didn’t bother to defend himself.
“Yeah, it’s true. I have to take my girlfriend to meet my parents this weekend. I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want to lose you. You’re a great person,” he said.
I sat there dumbfounded. I didn’t hear any other word that he had said. It had been two years, and I always thought we were in a relationship. So what had we been doing all this time?
For the thirty minutes that we were in the car, I sat quietly. I tried to say something but I had neither the words nor the courage. Perhaps I had misunderstood everything this entire time. It was my fault.
When we got home, I had finally gathered some courage to give him a piece of my mind.
“What have we been doing together all these years? You lied to me, for two years! I never want to hear from you again. Stay out of my life!” I said.
He watched me, confused. But that was all I was going to explain. Any more confrontation would be an injustice to my self-worth.
I arrived back to a cold, empty room. It was Christmas eve, and once again, I was alone. This time, lonely and heartbroken. I turned on the TV and brought out a bottle of wine. Perhaps at the bottom of the bottle, I would have a few answers to some of the questions in my head. We would have to wait and see.
I heard from Kamau twice or thrice after that again. He was contacting me to make amends, but I had no plans to reconcile with him.
This short story is loosely based on a story we saw on Twitter.
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