After the Davido philandering scandal hit the headlines, one Nigerian woman went online to school women, insisting that rich men don’t owe women faithfulness or loyalty. She said in part, “Let’s get realistic, no wealthy man owes you faithfulness. No rich man owes you faithfulness unless he chooses to be faithful… Listen, you can come with emotional tantrums and all that, but I’m being realistic here. Money comes with power, fantasies, and a whole manner of madness.” Her comments section was full of people, men and women supporting her view. Let’s talk about what these sentiments reveal.
Divorced from reality
This woman suggests that only rich men have earned the right to be unfaithful wilfully ignoring the fact that men of all classes all over the world have been cheating from the beginning of time. Men cheat with impunity because they can because society says they can. To suggest that that isn’t the case is gaslighting at its best.
Unfaithfulness apologists
There is no shortage of people who make it their business to defend the status quo. Men everywhere are unfaithful, so they take it upon themselves to come up with rational arguments why that is the case. Every reason will suffice from women not doing enough to satisfy men to in this case, rich men don’t owe women faithfulness. It’s much easier to try to make justifications for the way things are than to demand system-wide changes.
Double standards
Our society has a way of showing you who matters based on what rules they are required to comply with. In this case, poor people who are beneath rich people are required to abide by rules rich people are not bound by. Poor men have to be faithful because they have nothing else so they have no choice, rich people on the other hand have money, which is everything so they can do whatever the hell they want.
Multiple people in the comments section wondered if these revised faithfulness rules applied to rich women as well. If you said no, go to the head of the class. It turns out money drives rich men crazy so they have the leeway to do whatever they want but it has no such effect on rich women who must continue to be faithful in marriage. Society values men, rich men, if you don’t fall under that category, you’re literally nothing.
Infantilizing men
Patriarchal society works overtime to infantilize men. Men are portrayed as bumbling idiots who don’t know how to take care of children or how to control their anger and sexual urges. Women must step in and bear the burden of their ignorance. These same bumbling idiots who can’t figure out how to care for a toddler are also somehow the heads of the family and the ones women are supposed to look to for guidance. In this specific instance, wealthy men get so confused by money that they can’t be faithful, women must now step in and understand that. Poor men, they just can’t help it. It appears everything else is to blame but men and the way patriarchal society socialize them.
Check out
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