A friend of mine asked us a very important question that left us all scratching our heads. “What makes a man spend lots of money on a woman?” We all know it’s not looks or how good in bed a woman is. So, what is it? Is it ego? Is it personality? Well, we all didn’t have an answer since many of us date low-effort men.
Though we all have experience with low-effort men, I think I’ve been through the worst of them all. At least my friends date guys who do something small for them. I, on the other hand, have never even received flowers or chocolate from a man – not even a single rose or those cheap chocolates. Absolutely nothing!
Sometimes, I wonder whether there’s something wrong with me or maybe I just don’t have good luck when it comes to relationships.
The interesting part is all the men I’ve dated have been deeply in love with me and they also have fat wallets so I don’t understand why they all turn out to be low-effort men.
“Maybe I don’t know how to ask for money.” I opened up to my friend, Sharon.
“That’s not it. If a man loves you, he’ll give you anything you want and need. You don’t even have to ask.”
“But I know he loves me. The love is absolutely there. I can show you the texts he sends me every morning and night.”
“Is he broke?” Sharon asked.
“Are you joking? You’ve seen the car he drives.”
“Then I can’t help you there. At least the low-effort men I’ve dated were broke. What’s his excuse?”
“Exactly. And he’s not the first one. Every guy I’ve been with has done the bare minimum for me yet they have the means to do grand things.”
“Just be patient with this one and try to hint at the things you like.”
Sharon’s advice was good but I had done it before. There’s nothing I haven’t done to get the princess treatment but it hasn’t come.
I didn’t have much hope for that relationship. Somehow, Eliud was worse than the other guys I had dated in the past. Ironically, he was the richest one.
We met during a road trip that one of our mutual friends had organized.
“This trip isn’t as exciting as I hoped.” He said to me.
Those were the first words he said to me.
“Yeah.” I agreed, hoping he would either move on or change his attitude but he kept complaining.
“The food is so bad… and the girls. Mark promised me there would be more girls here.”
I was quiet, wondering if he was joking or if he was just rude. He complained for a good 30 minutes before asking if I wanted a drink.
“What are you drinking?” He finally asked then I realized that he was actually drunk.
“Gin and tonic.”
“Of course, a basic drink for a…” he said then laughed “A pretty girl.”
“I think I need a whole bottle of I’m going to listen to your dry jokes all night.”
“You can have whatever you want as long as you’re buying.”
I didn’t expect him to buy a whole bottle of gin for me yet we had just met but he didn’t have to make it obvious. I bought my bottle and went back to my seat.
Though we started off on the wrong foot, we ended up getting along. After the trip, we started seeing each other regularly and within a few weeks, we were dating.
That was when I realized Eliud was one of the most low-effort men I had ever known. He always wanted to hang out at my place. That wasn’t an issue when we were getting to know each other but I expected things to change once we got into a relationship.
They didn’t. We continued hanging out at my place. Month after month. Since I work on Saturdays too, I barely have any time to myself so I still had to do chores when Eliud was around. He never offered to help me even once.
I don’t mind if a guy doesn’t spend money on me but I can’t stand a man who can’t help with physical things.
“Please help me move this couch,” I asked.
“I’m busy with something.” He answered.
“Busy scrolling on TikTok.”
“I’m working.”
He came to my place every weekend, ate my food, slept in my bed and never helped with anything. This continued for months but for some reason, I was patient. I hoped that eventually, he would see my worth and put more effort into the relationship.
Funny enough, I never asked him for anything thinking that I was presenting myself as a good girlfriend who wasn’t after his money.
Eventually, I got bored of the routine and lack of effort. I woke up one day and blocked his number and social media accounts on all platforms.
“I’m single again,” I told Sharon.
“What happened?”
“Same old thing that always happens. He didn’t make any effort. It’s more insulting this time because he’s the richest guy I’ve ever dated. He can do things for me. He just chooses not to.”
Sure enough, I proved that Eliud would have given me the princess treatment if he wanted to. A year after we broke up, I got a notification on my phone from Snapchat.
I rarely use the app but I get notifications here and there. It was Eliud’s account. I didn’t even know he followed me.
It was a regular Snapchat post which I ignored at first. However, I looked at the preview closely and I could see there was another person in the photo. I opened it and there she was – his new girlfriend holding the biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen and smiling from ear to ear.
It made me chuckle but deep down, I was hurt. I came to learn that there’s no such thing as a low-effort man. If a man wants to spoil you – rich or poor – he will.
Check out
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How I Got Stuck With The Bill After A Date With A Broke Guy
My Female Friends Always Talk To Me About Their Sex Lives – It Is Too Much
