The words felt like a stab. Wangu felt her chest tighten. She opened the car’s window to get more air because she felt like she couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t enough. She turned to Mike, who seemed unaware of her situation.
“Stop the car,” said Wangu.
“What? Why?” Mike asked.
“Stop the car! I can’t breathe,” Wangu told him.
Mike quickly found a place to park on the roadside. Wangu jolted out of the car with her hand on her chest. By now, she felt a lump in her throat and tears on her cheeks. His words kept replaying in her mind, “We’re just friends. I never promised you more.”
“What’s wrong? Do we need to go to a hospital?” Mike asked Wangu.
“We’re just friends, Mike?” Wangu asked him.
“What? Is this what this is all about? I thought you were feeling unwell,” said Mike, dismissing her statement.
His dismissal aggravated her pain. She took in deep breaths before getting back in the car. Mike was furious with her. She closed the door and didn’t utter a word until they got to her gate. As Mike waited for the guard at the gate to open it, Wangu got out and told the guard there was no need to open it because Mike was just dropping her. This surprised Mike because he had expected to go to the house as usual, but he didn’t argue. He left.
Wangu got to the house and went to the shower. She was glad her five-year-old son was at her mother’s for the week. She could stay in the shower for as long as she needed and have a good cry. Mike’s words made no sense. After she was done crying, she got into warm clothes and took out a notebook.
She considered herself a rational person, and Mike’s claims made no sense. She decided to go through all their conversations and write down every incident where Mike acted like her boyfriend. “I’m not crazy,” she often repeated.
Mike had been in her life for slightly over a year. He had been her pillar of strength many times and shown her affection in a way that suggested they were more than friends. Unlike the men who had previously come into her life, Mike wasn’t fazed by the fact that she was a mom. He showed her son attention and even incorporated him into their activities.
Three months after they met, Wangu’s son had an accident where his arm got burned. They had to spend a few days in the hospital and go back for several visits to have the burn wound dressed. Mike visited them in the hospital daily and drove them to the hospital on all visits. The hospital staff thought he was her partner and the child’s father.
Their friendship grew, with each being a key person in the other’s decision-making. Wangu would give her input on Mike’s matters, like work, diet, and dressing. While she had initially hesitated about having Mike around her house and her son, Mike’s consistency in showing up for them had put her at ease. He became a regular visitor, such that the guard at the gate would let him through without first checking with her.
He sent her money randomly and invited her out many times. They had not defined their relationship, but even without the label, it looked like a romantic relationship. Wangu had been hurt in the past and had decided to first pursue friendship before rushing into an official relationship.
As Mike’s words rang in her mind again, she remembered the exact moment when she needed him to define the nature of their relationship. The previous day, there had been guests at Mike’s workplace. They were teaching them about finances. Part of the session talked about financial tools to secure a child’s future. Mike had told Wangu about the session.
Mike discussed it using the term ‘we’, which got Wangu thinking. He had said, “If we started investing now, it could take away the financial strain in his late teens as he goes to college.” She hadn’t dared ask him whether he was also going to put in money because she needed time to process the statement.
She finally asked him what they were and what next. That was when Mike told her that they were just friends and that he had never mentioned anything about getting into an official relationship. He denied leading her on and argued that he did all those things because he cared for her. Wangu wondered whether she had made everything up in her head and shared the story with her friends, who also agreed that he had behaved like her boyfriend.
Mike stood firm but still wanted to continue with their friendship. Wangu struggled with the idea because he had been good to her but eventually realized that she was hurting herself since she had developed deep romantic feelings for him and walked away from the situation.
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