Unhappiness is a state where you feel like you don’t have any joy. It can lead to poorer health and a shorter lifespan. The state of the world is extremely stressful, so it’s necessary to find joy in moments. Happiness is controlled by the state of circumstances and you can control it to some degree. While it may be difficult to remain happy with the way things currently are, there are certain habits to avoid to ensure you don’t end up in a state of chronic unhappiness.
1. Waiting for the future
Putting a deadline on when you will next be happy removes any emotional agency you have. You have a lot more control over how you react to events around you. When things are frustrating, you don’t just throw a tantrum. You take the time to reflect, exercise some patience, take a walk then come back and solve the problem. Relying on what-ifs to claim happiness is a way to guarantee chronic unhappiness.
2. Retail therapy
Earning an increased income can increase happiness. Financial security ensures that you have enough money to survive and have money for leisure. When you buy things, you feel emotionally better. Consumerism triggers a dopamine rush. When you aren’t wealthy, spending every last cent on things to feel happy doesn’t help in the long term. You also risk debt and ruining your relationships over mismanagement. How To Overcome Emotional Spending
3. Withdrawing
One of the main signs of chronic unhappiness is a disinterest in everything and almost everyone. Even when your loved ones want to socialise and cheer you up, you want to avoid the outdoors. Isolating yourself from others destabilises your mood. Occasionally spending alone time is healthy but when you want to do it all the time, you may need a mental health intervention. Are You An Introvert, Shy, Or Socially Anxious? Their Differences And Why You Need To Know Them
4. Self-victimising
Nearly everyone becomes a victim of circumstance at some point. However, when you constantly blame your problems on perpetual victimhood, you’re likely to be unhappy all the time. It also creates learned helplessness because you feel like you have no control over your life. Essentially, you stop trying to change your situation even when you can. Feeling down occasionally is normal. But when you let the situation have the power over your life, you’re less likely to solve your problems or seek help.
5. Negativity
Chronic unhappiness is a result of negativity. When you’re pessimistic, you believe that nothing good will ever happen. It creates a cycle of cynicism where something bad happens, and you believe it would have happened no matter what you do. You start seeing your problems as a self-fulfilling prophecy and no longer care to change what you can. You also begin to make others around you miserable because you think joy is poisonous. It’s important to be factual about what you’re facing, but focusing on how bad everything is isn’t remotely helpful. 6 Easy Ways To Restore Your Positive Energy
6. Complaining
Everyone needs a session where they get to whine about their problems. But when you constantly moan about what’s wrong with your life, you’re reinforcing your negativity. The way you talk about things determines how you respond to them. Venting can be great for your mental health but constantly whining to reaffirm your helplessness isn’t. It just confirms that you’re unhappy. You can start by reframing your problems. For example, if you’re struggling to quit smoking, talk about how much better you feel when you don’t smoke rather than how hard it is. Careers: Don’t Bi*Ch About Your Job, Just Go
7. Exaggerating
When you have chronic unhappiness, you want to reaffirm that you’re unhappy. You also want to remain in that situation because you suspect things will not improve unless there’s a miraculous intervention. People with chronic unhappiness get some perverse pleasure from having problems. They may also get attention when they complain or use self-deprecating humour. When the problems aren’t that bad, they will exaggerate their situation. Either to get pity or as part of learned helplessness.
8. Avoidance
This is a common trauma response. Avoidance and procrastination seem like easy solutions because you don’t have to face your problems. Avoiding your problems also means you don’t have to deal with the fact that they’re growing the longer you ignore them. It’s more of a depressive response but it can still be damaging to your relationships or work. There are ways to ensure you don’t get stuck in an avoidance loop. Dealing with your issues before they become unmanageable can help. Small tips and tricks like using to-do lists and reward systems can help you tackle issues slowly until you’re done.
9. Passivism
Chronic unhappiness means losing an active interest in your life. Giving up and waiting for life to get better means you confirm the belief that your problems are outside your control. In addition, you perform like someone who is expecting a solution in the new future that you won’t have to lift a finger for. It’s a kind of protective delusion that makes you think you don’t have to put in any effort to change your life.
For instance, you’ll see someone get a windfall like winning a scholarship, and decide to try your luck. When nothing works out, you confirm that you’re unlucky. You then no longer try to apply for scholarships and wait to be discovered by an organisation or individual willing to sponsor scholars. What you fail to account for is those who succeeded had been applying endlessly until they finally got picked. For you, it’s a matter of luck which allows you to remain passive, cynical, and pessimistic.
10. Comparisons
When you’re chronically unhappy, you constantly look for ways to confirm your feelings to avoid having to do any labour to change things. One way to get this confirmation is to compare your life to others. You look at the social media posts of your successful peers and reinforce the belief that you’re unsuccessful because you’re not them. The reason why you are stuck at a dead-end job is because you’re unlucky, not because you’re passive. The problem with this, you end up resenting your more successful friends. Envy can ruin your relationships and it’s best to address such negative emotions. 5 Ways To Deal With Comparisonitis (Comparison Syndrome)
Check out:
9 Mistakes To Avoid When Pursuing Your Dreams
Why You May Not Be Learning From Failure And How To Weaponise It For Your Success
Mental Health: How To Use Stress To Your Advantage
6 Simple Ways To Find And Maintain Hope When You’re Feeling Hopeless
6 Signs Of Emotional Intelligence
7 Tips For Enjoying Your Solitude Without Feeling Lonely
Mental Wellness: Why You Should Pursue Wonder Not Happiness
Mindfulness Meditation: A Powerful Tool For Managing Stress And Enhancing Happiness
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