Nearly every self-help expert tells people to seek happiness. But the pursuit of happiness is limiting and dangerous. Whenever you experience sadness, it feels like a failure. Happiness is also arbitrary and can be achieved through different means. It also requires you to assign various events in your life and gauge them into what makes you happy and what doesn’t. This can be reductive because there are plenty of things that are required but don’t make you happy.
Instead, you should consider the pursuit of wonder. This way you don’t feel overwhelmed by the doom and gloom news cycle. It can also feel tone-deaf to seek happiness when so many people are experiencing war, the cost-of-living crisis, climate disasters, and other catastrophes. The performance of countries is also measured through the World Happiness Index.
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Happiness is considered a goal but it can be a difficult burden to carry. However, happiness should be considered a side effect of things working out rather than something to go after. When you pursue a sense of wonder, this creates a cycle of gratitude. This also lives up to the tenets of positive thinking. And this way, we don’t succumb to toxic positivity. In a world so obsessed with happiness, there are almost 300 million people diagnosed with depression.
When you pursue happiness and keep looking out for what keeps you happy, when it doesn’t work out it can lead to depressive thoughts, self-loathing or anxiety. This also leads to situations where you misjudge your wants vs your needs. If you buy something expensive for a serotonin boost, this makes you “happy” but that feeling doesn’t last. Misjudging what makes you happy is called affective forecasting. Research shows that this is caused by believing what you’ve been conditioned to believe will lead to happiness. It also contributes to consumerism.
Why you should pursue wonder
One of the greatest authors to ever live, Leo Tolstoy said that one of the ways to avoid depression is to acknowledge the hopelessness of life but still make use of your advantages. “Lick the honey in the best way, especially if there is much of it within reach.” There is no need to pursue happiness when the world has so much to offer already. Focusing on the ephemera of moments within life can help create more impact in your daily life.
This includes mindful living, stopping to smell the roses, feeling the sun on your face, breathing in crisp cool air, or listening to a creek. Unlike the pursuit of happiness, you don’t need to spend too much money or effort to find wonder. It can come from something as simple as looking at flowers or star gazing at night.
Wonder is also a universal emotion. Everyone has experienced wonder from a young age. Think about the first time you watched a great movie or the first time you experienced a carnival ride. This creates a feeling that you have never had before because of the novelty. When you relive that feeling, it can be more fulfilling than happiness.
Wonder also helps you avoid falling into toxic positivity habits or avoiding negative emotions. Frustration, anger, and anxiety are still valid emotions that you need to process. When you look at life as something to be admired and grateful for, rather than be happy about, you put less pressure on yourself to live to some arbitrary standard.
Embracing what the world has to offer is also healthier in the long run. The pursuit of happiness requires you to ignore what makes you unhappy. It can reinforce negative coping mechanisms. However, if you look at life with wonder, you can develop better coping mechanisms. Research shows that having emotional diversity makes it easier to recover from stress.
The benefits of pursuing wonder
1. Curiosity helps manage stress
When experiencing a tragedy like a climate disaster, it can be easy to get caught up in the hopelessness of the situation. This is completely understandable. However, you can think about the good times you had in the area while processing the grief of the loss. Being curious about how you and your neighbours will rebuild your life gives you something to focus on. Remaining awed at the power of disaster can give you more emotional resilience.
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2. Take stock
Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in what you have been through especially if you have depression and anxiety. Writing in a gratitude journal and being awed at what you’ve accomplished so far can help you manage your anxieties better. Looking at your strength thus far with wonder can help reinforce what you’re capable of.
3. Boosts creativity and performance
If you’re of an artistic bent, looking at the world around you, can inspire you more than overwhelm you. While you can feel like everything is too difficult to manage with all the bad news that plagues us, a single moment can spark a great poem, painting, or an Instagram post that creates joy for others. Being eager to study the world around also makes you more generous, and community-focused, and do better at work or school.
4. Better health
Research shows that having more wonder for the world around you lowers blood pressure. It also lowers stress hormones like cortisol and decreases inflammation.
Wonder makes it easier to embrace the complexity of existence. It also releases you from the binary of looking at life events as happy or unhappy. It allows for poetry and logic to exist at the same time. The key to health isn’t happiness, perhaps it’s to find something to marvel at.
Check out:
6 Activities To Engage In That Are Good For Your Mental Wellbeing
Opinion: On Toxic Positivity And Good Vibes Only
Mental Wellness: How Play Can Help Adults Find Joy
Morning Pages: Harnessing The Creative And Therapeutic Benefits Of Journaling For Personal Growth
Gratitude: The Problem With Persistent Calls To Always Be Grateful
Lifestyle: How Gratitude For Your Surroundings Can Improve Your Quality Of Life
Mindfulness Meditation: A Powerful Tool For Managing Stress And Enhancing Happiness
