Facebook Post; 18 Aug 2017
The news of your passing has shaken me to the core. I hope to learn more from you to build my career. Thank you for holding a torch for me, nurturing my talent and connecting me to life-changing opportunities. I will always hold you in the highest regard Kavani. My Godfather! Rest In Peace.
# RIP #GoneToSoon. #CareerGodfather
Presently
I have just returned to my gold-decorated seat at the front pews in church, after a long prayer session at the altar. Every Sunday, members of the Billionaires Club get special prayers from the pastor. We also sit to the right of the altar, just behind the pastor and his wife. This is a privilege people yearn for, but not everyone can cut. They don’t make big sacrifices, and the Lord loves a cheerful giver.
“Mira, come to the altar please,” Pastor Davis says. I quickly put away my bible and rushed to the altar. I’m careful enough not to hurt my left arm. I was burnt by hot water a week ago in my house while preparing evening tea for my church guests. It was a thank you to the pastor for following me to my village to cast away the demons riddled in my family. As I approach the altar, pastor Davis starts explaining the reason he called me to the altar.
“Mira ni kondoo wa Mungu,” Mira is the Lord’s sheep, he starts. Last Saturday she invited us into her home for prayers but the devil had an agenda. We will not let the devil win! We will summon the healing power of Jesus Christ in this room and your hand will heal in Jesus name. Are you ready for a miracle Mira? Are we ready for a miracle church?” His voice got louder when he started asking questions.
“We are serving hell a notice! All the demonic spirits chained to you by your ancestors will be broken today. Somebody say Hallelujah!”
“Hallelujah!” The church thundered. Some few other people murmured “Holy ghost fire! Blood of Jesus and Amen. Three female ushers were standing behind me, ready to hold me if I fell. I was in tears, whispering a prayer to God. I was ready for my miracle. Not just to heal my hand, but a miracle that will restore my family. Before the pastor laid his hands on me, I prayed that God remember my sacrifice and that He act tenfold.
My miracle did not come, at least until the next week, when the pastor prophesied over my life. He simply asked if anyone in the congregation knew Kavani and the whole church fell silent.
“If you know Kavani, I have a prophecy from the Lord for you. Lift your hand!” He thundered. There was pin-drop silence in the church. He looked around before his gaze rested on me. I fidgeted in my seat. I wanted to raise my hand, but the Kavani I knew had died about six years ago.
“The Lord will direct you to me in silence, fear no evil,” he said.
The Lord directed me to the pastor after our Billionaire’s Club meeting that Sunday. I was going to tell the pastor that I wouldn’t be able to make my monthly contribution because of the challenges I had encountered.
“I knew you would come,” he said as soon as I opened his door. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I smiled briefly as I took a seat.
“You know Kavani, right?” he asked.
“Yes. But he died six years ago. I didn’t think it would be him,” I replied.
“Do you know better than God?” He queried.
I was dumbfounded.
“He stole the light of your career”, he paused. It was as if he was waiting for something to happen, but I just stared at him blankly.
“Mira, I mean he died with your talent. He had so much access to you that he stole your star and died with it. I want you to fast and pray. Take the week to fast and pray over your career. It’s the reason this burning accident happened to you. The demons want to take away your power to write and grow in your career. This was my prophecy today. Although your ignorance made the entire church miss the prophecy, I will forgive you, and pray that the Lord God forgives you too”.
“Amen, pastor. Thank you very much”, I said. He prayed for me in his office and I left with questions, determined to fast and pray relentlessly.
Three days into my fasting, I collapsed at work and woke up in a hospital bed. My younger brother was seated by the door, occasionally stamping his feet. His face shone with relief when he saw me and he quickly rushed to my side.
“Mira! Let me call the doctors, I will be back”, he says as he heads for the door.
“Wait, Nick! Did you call my pastor?” I ask, seemingly alarmed.
“No. Why?” He queries.
“He should have been the first call. He’s helping me fast and pray remember?” I ask, visibly agitated.
“Oh my! We have lost you already. You need to snap out of that nonsense Mira!” he answers.
I was surprised by his boldness, the audacity to talk to me in such a manner, but what baffled me more, is that he was undermining the man of God.
“Nick, if you went to church, you would know that he had a prophecy over my life. He knows why my career hasn’t taken off and that’s why we are fasting together. Jesus Christ this ungrateful child!” I shout.
“A prophecy he got from Facebook?” He asks again, this time, his tone laced with disdain.
“So God resides in Facebook now Nick? Eeh? God is Facebook? Jesus! Satan is winning again with you! I rebuke it in the name of Jesus! I come against— “Stop it, Mira! Stop it please”, he thundered.
“What kind of pastor tells you not to see a doctor after getting burnt? Only those who stalk their “sheep” online and exploit their problems. Is there anything new he said? He simply saw your pain, plastered all over Facebook and decided to go to town with it. Open your eyes, Mira. Open your eyes. Your desire to find a Christian man to marry you is the problem to begin with. Open your eyes to the truth Mira. Open your eyes!” He lectured.
“Nick. Are you insulting me?” I paused. “Me! The same person who pays for your education. You dare to insult me because I don’t have a husband. Nick a good husband comes from the Lord—” Nick interrupted.
“There you go again. Mira, you need to see the light. Your pastor is a fraud!” He said before storming out.
I started praying at the top of my voice, threatening to go to war with the devil for a whole month of fasting if he wouldn’t let my brother go. But my voice was shaky, and as I uttered the words, I realized I didn’t mean them and I began to stutter. I opened my eyes and paused. For a long time, I wondered how and why the pastor spoke to my core needs. The way he would remind me to increase my tithe because I got my pay increase. It was a bit strange, but who was I to question the will of God in my life?
Pastor Davis had always told me, that he was the voice of God in my life. Whatever he said to me, had been revealed to him in prayer and I had believed it. I believed him when he said that God asked me to offer half of my salary as a tithe to build the church and in turn, it would build my career. He said that God had ordained a man for me and if I spent most of my time in church, I would find him. He would find me decorating the church with decor I bought, or serving food at the altar during Kesha. I just had to listen to him, the voice of God.
Until I started listening to my voice on that hospital bed, it hadn’t occurred to me that I had been brainwashed. My brother’s outburst had triggered me and it opened up my mind to lie I had been living. I was simply a young woman desperate for a better life, career and a life partner and Pastor Davis monetized my insecurities. Regrettably, I still doubted my thoughts and decided to give the ‘voice of God’ another chance the next Sunday and he preached, all over again, about the hashtag I had shared on Facebook.
#We left the church, we didn’t leave God.
“People with such misleading thoughts don’t have the anointing of the Lord and that’s why nothing ever works for them!” He thundered. My brother was right, he was stalking me. Just like Jesus after being stoned in Jerusalem, I stood up from the front pew of the church and walked out. My steps were shaky at first, but they steadied with every step. I wasn’t free, but I will be free indeed!
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