Whenever there are suspicions about a child’s paternity, it can lead to a lot of chaos and trauma within a family. As it gets resolved, the cases can result in a lot of drama between family members. Sometimes, the root cause of all the chaos is how the non-biological father finds out he was raising another man’s child.
When the families fall apart
One soldier found out while deployed that his on-again, off-again girlfriend was pregnant. When he was discharged, he went to take care of her and the newborn baby. Soon after, she went on holiday with a friend. While she was gone, he received an email from another boyfriend telling him that they’d been a couple for four months. He was also paying for the holiday. He then got a paternity test and it was confirmed that the child wasn’t biologically his. After which, he told her he wanted no contact. It turned out that the emailing boyfriend wasn’t the father either.
Another user kept getting inconclusive results from his paternity tests within his state. After going out of tests, the DNA results stated that there is a less than 2% chance the child was biologically his. 9 months before the baby was born, they had slept together but soon after she was sexually assaulted by her father and that turned out to be the paternal father of the baby. Eventually, they broke up because she was struggling with drug use and alcohol use disorder. She cleaned up her act for her baby and years later the family is in a better place.
In one tragic situation, a user shared a second-hand account of a man whose girlfriend was an unpleasant partner. She was rude, dismissive, and cruel. She kept lording over the fact that he may not be the father but he never left. In addition, she turned their child against him and ended up with alcohol use disorder while the daughter was spoiled and misguided. Eventually, he left them both and went no contact. The mother never recovered and the daughter can’t hold down a job.
An older teenager was about to join university when his recent ex came to him saying she was pregnant. He decided to forego uni, got a full-time job, and stepped up to provide for them. After the birth of the child, his ex decided to get a paternity test and confirmed he wasn’t the father. He supported them for about a month before realizing none of the circumstances were his responsibility. He re-enrolled in university and continued with his life.
When a father still wants his kids
One father was on the other side of the fence. She had invited him for old times’ sake and they slept together. After two months, she told him that she was pregnant. He stepped up and prepared to be a father but soon after she told him she’d had a miscarriage. Their short-lived cohabitation died out but he later saw a social media post announcing that she’d had a child exactly 9 months after their last interlude. He requested a paternity test which confirmed that the child was his. She had chosen another man she’d been seeing during their dalliance to be the father because she felt he would be a better option. After a few tumultuous months of clarifying previous announcements and her splitting up with the chosen father, the user then got partial custody of the child.
When a couple is interracial, the odds of the child being mixed are high. They can also favour the appearance of one parent over the other. However, this user found out that their child couldn’t have been the result of their coupling. He is white while the mother is mixed race. The child started out light skin but the skin later pigmented deeply. Eventually, it became clear that he wasn’t the father. At first, they stayed together but he had to separate from his mother after some other conflicts. He knew the child may have a difficult time after the biological father declared he wouldn’t be supporting them. He offered to take care of the child and has since been helping raise her, even with his own wife with whom he has two children.
However, for others, a confirmation that he wasn’t the biological father deepened the bond between him and his son. All friends witnessed how intense their bond was and how the news served to enrich their relationship further.
One father shared his speculation. He has never been in a situation where he doubted the paternity of his children. But if it did turn out they weren’t biologically his, he wouldn’t stop loving them. He would blame their mother but still continue to be a father to them.
In a similar vein, another father found out the child wasn’t biologically his. Knowing he was a better parent than the mother, he sued for full custody and proved to the courts that the mother wasn’t an ideal parent.
Yet another dad shared how he remained in his daughter’s life after finding out he wasn’t the biological father. The bio dad wanted nothing to do with her. He divorced the mother but is still grateful to have met and loved his daughter.
One father said that he suspects his son of 15 years isn’t his. He and the mother divorced but the son still needs a father in his life. Another user responded if he’s been the father for 15 years, the boy already has a dad.
One Redditor declared that fatherhood isn’t determined by genetics. If you have raised the child, taken care of them, and been there for them in any period of their childhood, you are the father. The mother’s infidelity shouldn’t be the child’s problem.
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Tragedies
Another user had a suspicious college experience. While seeing each other semi-casually, his girlfriend ends up pregnant. He had a preexisting condition that guaranteed he was not the father but she insisted he was. He wasn’t around when the child was born but eventually met his mother and baby. There was no spark of recognition or the blossoming joy of fatherhood. She also introduced the child to his parents who were excited to become grandparents. He had to slow it down for them and got a state-mandated paternity test that proved there was a less than 1% chance he was the father. She apologized and it was later revealed that the father was a local man who had fathered children with multiple women. However, he had no income and drug abuse problems, eventually dying prematurely.
In one tragic situation, a man married a woman and they had a child together, shortly after the wedding. Unfortunately, the mother died of complications but the father stepped in to provide all he could for their daughter. As she grew older, she looked like her mother but her other features didn’t match her father’s. He ordered a paternity test and it was confirmed he wasn’t the biological father. They are keeping it a secret from her at the moment but plan to keep looking for her biological father in case of any medical issues.
Another user shared how his first love broke his heart. He met her in an online chat room and when he saw people ganging up on her, he defended her. They got to chatting after she thanked him for defending her, and they realised they lived about an hour away from each other. His parents took him to meet her and they started hanging out whenever their parents allowed it. They later became sexually active but when her parents found out, they tried to put a stop to the relationship. He was blindsided and even promised to stop being sexually active but her mother told him this was for his own good.
Later, they keep communicating in secret until she tells him she’s pregnant, and at risk of death because she had surgery for an eating disorder when she was younger. She shared that the doctors said she was at risk of dying if she fell pregnant. He became depressed and a cousin told his mother what was going on. His mum decided to contact the girl’s mother and he learned the truth. She had been lying about being pregnant, the eating disorder, and the surgery.
A user found out at her sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner that the father she’d grown up with wasn’t her biological father. The discussion came up when they mentioned blood donations and blood types. Her mother confirmed that he wasn’t her father and he’d passed away without either of them knowing. When she asked her mother who her father could be, she couldn’t get a definitive answer.
This Redditor shared how their cousin is a white, green-eyed young woman but her aunt and uncle are dark-skinned Caribbean people. However, having white children isn’t uncommon in their family because of their ancestry where slave owners would sexually assault their ancestors who were enslaved. However, it was later revealed that their cousin was conceived from an affair the aunt had with a co-worker. The uncle abandoned them because he was always a fickle person. The aunt got drunk and revealed the whole story about how their white cousin came about. The biological father was a married man who wanted nothing to do with the situation. The cousin is now grown with two children of her own and still doesn’t know the details of her lineage.
From the children’s perspective
Another child shared her experience with a man who wasn’t her biological father. However, he knew he wasn’t. He married her mother when she was a toddler. At first, he acted like a father until he had a biological child of his own with her mother. He and his family treated her differently. The blatant favouritism had her independent and grown-up way earlier than she had to be. She also got no devices while her half-sister got all the cell phones, tablets, and iPods. Her mother did end up divorcing him but he only fought for custody and visitation of his biological daughter. They went no contact after he left.
One perspective shared was the child of such a situation. Her mother was married to one man since she was 17. Trapped in a loveless marriage, she had an affair with a neighbour which the user resulted from. At first, the neighbour wanted nothing to do with the child but after some years, he met with the child and wanted to be involved in her life. After, her mother divorced her adoptive father and married the neighbour. He maintained visitation rights and she grew up with two fathers who loved her dearly in their own ways. She acknowledged that her situation was an anomaly.
Another accidentally revealed the news to her adoptive father. Her mother told her before telling him that he didn’t know he wasn’t the biological father. She also didn’t tell her that her dad didn’t know. She called him while he was away and asked him how he handled the fact that he wasn’t her bio dad. The parents decided to get a divorce later but the relationship between father and daughter remained the same.
Sometimes he is the biological dad
There are instances where the father turns out to be the biological father even when they don’t expect it. One user shared a second-hand account of their friend. After unprotected sex with a fling, she ends up pregnant. She says she doesn’t want to keep the baby and he gave her money for an abortion. Months later, she contacts him to tell him the baby is almost due. He assumes it must be someone else’s baby since he paid for her to get an abortion. A paternity test revealed that he was undoubtedly the father.
Here are some stories about finding out that your child is not yours
Swapped At Birth: The Mistake That Ended My Decade-Long Marriage
Her Intimate Secrets Threaten Her Marriage
He Found Out His Kids Weren’t Biologically his
My Cousin Found Out Her Sugar Daddy Was Her Biological Father
But even when you find out the child is yours there could be consequences.
The Singlehood Series: He Did A DNA Test Behind Her Back Because Of His Friends Advice
