Infidelity is one of the key problems faced by people in romantic relationships. Approximately 25-40% of couples have to deal with it but the statistics are notoriously unreliable because the cheaters are not exactly known for their honesty. About 60-80% of these couples are able to rebuild trust and save their relationships. For people trying to rebuild trust, here are signs the person will cheat again and is not committed to saving the relationship.
How did you find out about their cheating?
The way they handled it tells you about how they felt about it and what they are likely to do going forward. If they told you themselves and took full accountability for their actions, that’s a good sign. If they didn’t come clean and own up to it themselves, this may indicate they are not sorry and don’t even respect you enough to come clean.
Their underlying attitude about cheating
If your partner believes it’s not possible to have a monogamous relationship without occasionally stepping out or if they don’t consider unfaithfulness a big deal, they are likely to cheat again. Look out for opinions like people aren’t meant to be monogamous and cheating is okay if the other party doesn’t find out. What you want is for your partner to consider it a huge deal. To see that not only did it put your relationship in jeopardy but also gravely hurt you.
They lie and are secretive
If your partner is still lying about trivial and serious things even after you’ve forgiven them for cheating, that’s not a good sign. They may be pushing the boundaries to see how much you will let them get away with. If they still act suspiciously and are secretive with things like their phone, that may be a sign they haven’t changed and may in fact be doing it again. They’ll certainly do it again if they are still in touch with the person they cheated with.
They blame it on you
If they blame you and try to make you feel guilty and don’t take full responsibility for their actions, they’ll do it again, no doubt.
This is not the first time they’ve cheated
If they have been a serial cheater in this one or previous relationships, cheating may just be part of who they are and how they behave in relationships. A person who cheats once and never does so again is different from someone who has a track record of cheating.
They’re not making the effort to mend things
The person who broke the trust in the relationship is the one who needs to be working the hardest to restore faith. They need to be making every effort to gain back your trust, to show you how sorry they are and how committed they are to making things right. If you feel like you’re the one trying to fix the relationship and not them, they’ll likely cheat again.
It was more than a one-time thing
If the cheating was a one-time thing, that may be a sign that it was indeed a mistake on their part. The mindset required to maintain an affair that drags on for weeks, maybe even months is very different from a one-time slip-up. Long-term cheating shows a propensity to keep doing it.
Lack of communication
If they are not open to having the difficult conversations required in an open and honest way, you have a problem. It’s especially bad if they refuse to listen to your painful feelings and thoughts post the infidelity and they dodge the questions you have. If they’re sorry and they care about you, they’ll listen to you and empathize with your pain. If they’re making no effort to help you heal, they don’t care about you and will likely do it again.
Your gut is telling you
Don’t ignore your gut, sometimes we pick up on things subconsciously, and ignoring the vibes and feelings sometimes just results in pain. If you’re having the same feeling in your gut as then, there may be cause for concern.
Relationships: Different Types Of Cheaters And Why They Cheat
Micro-Cheating: What Is It, How Does It Affect Your Relationship, And How Can You Deal With It?
Do’s And Don’ts When Dating Someone Who Has Been Cheated On
Revenge Cheating: Is It A Good Idea?