When a marriage isn’t working anymore, many couples opt for separation. But often times they stay together for the sake of their children because they believe that kids could experience distress in the event of a divorce. This is partially true. Studies have found that children of divorced or separated parents have an increased risk of academic difficulties, disruptive behaviour, and depressed mood. This is a result of trouble adjusting. However, staying in a relationship that’s not working “for the kids” can do more harm than good.
Giving up on a partnership and not ending it can create an unhealthy living environment for the parents, and children. Children’s first impressions of how relationships work start from what they’re exposed to most frequently. Growing up in a home with parents who barely get along can create an unhealthy model for relationships. These tweets explore the impact on children of parents avoiding divorce.
Tweets showing the impact of unhappily married parents avoiding divorce
The argument that parents shouldn’t get divorced for their children does more harm than good. Children can adjust to an amicable divorce. The tweet by Jessica argues against Anthony’s tweet that parents shouldn’t divorce at all for the sake of their children. Many tweeps agreed with her.
This tweep found that having parents who aren’t demonstrative in their marriage can also be damaging to children.
Some children are aware that traditional marriage values force unhappily married parents to avoid a divorce. This can lead to a long-lasting impact on a child.
The choice of partner plays a greater role in the well-being of any future children. All adults who want to enter marriages and start families should be more discerning when selecting partners for their kids’ health.
Parents staying in unhappy marriages can affect children’s ability to enter healthy relationships. It can also affect their decisions to have kids of their own when they grow up.
For this tweep, growing up in such an environment gave her skewed ideas of what relationships are. Being around toxic relationships in their formative years can make children hesitate to enter even healthy relationships.
This Twitter user stated that their parents’ divorce would have been easier to deal with than watching them fight all through their childhood.
Some users simply stated they were well-adjusted even after having divorced parents.
One user declared that they wouldn’t stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because that can traumatise children. Another Twitter user confirmed they were such a child.
Incompatible parents who can’t get along can cause their children more trauma, which still affects them into adulthood. When parents fight, the impact of what they see and internalise can carry over even long after they’re moved out.
Being a healthier, happy single parent will be better for a child than staying in an unhappy marriage.
This user points out that the longer parents take to divorce, the deeper the resentment in children.
Marriage isn’t an inoculation against avoiding a broken home. This user stated that marriage isn’t a guarantee that children will have a healthy upbringing.
Some parents may be unable to leave their marriages because they don’t have the resources and the know-how. Awareness of the benefits of divorce can also be beneficial to parents.
Children may also want their parents to divorce. The disruption from being raised by unhappily married parents can create an environment where abuse thrives.
The behaviour of parents can have unprecedented effects on children’s habits, such as disordered eating.
Parents failing to divorce can also jeopardise the future of their children. These effects can be long-lasting on a child’s schooling, job, and other functions.
When parents decide to stay in a marriage that no longer works, the emotional burden can be transferred to the children. This user stated that parents can make children feel guilty and take emotional responsibility for something they never asked for.
This user noticed the difference between healthy and toxic relationships. They preferred that they be spared their parents’ toxicity and become children of divorce.
Nasty divorces hurt children more than friendly ones. However, this user pointed out that staying in an unhappy marriage isn’t an option because parents need to be role models. They need to show compassion, healthy communication, and boundaries within relationships. How Parents Can Teach Their Children About Healthy Boundaries
This user realised her parents were wrong to stay together “for the kids”. Unhappy marriages set up children for failure in having a healthy outlook. Children of parents who avoid divorce end up with pain and trauma.
Spooky Raisin posted that many parents who stay together still share that they wish they’d gotten divorced. Children are more likely to tolerate happy apart parents than unhappy married ones.
This user pointed out the importance of adults having therapy and establishing functionality before starting a family.
When parents stay together for the sake of their kids, they could upset their children.
This user pointed out that no users had anything positive to say about their parents staying in an unhappy marriage for their children.
Gloria Mari is a culture writer based in Nairobi, Kenya. She writes on art, film, literature, health, and the environment. She has previously written for Kenya Buzz, People Daily, The Elephant, and Kalahari Review.