Occasionally, someone complains about the dating pool, which can sound like an exaggeration, but a recent experience had me join the bandwagon. I connected with Greg online. I am not one of those people who have private profiles on Instagram because I think past a certain small number of followers, you have no privacy. It should probably be on WhatsApp or your gallery if you want to keep it confidential. I’ll admit that you can quickly tell my interests because I’m passionate about them, which was what landed Greg in my inbox.
Greg had viewed a reel on my page with perfumes and felt I could direct him to a seller. “Hey, this might sound weird because we don’t know each other, but I noticed you love perfumes. I was wondering if you could direct me to an affordable seller besides the three popular shops,” Greg wrote. He didn’t have to persuade me to give him more information. I love talking about scents.
He must have thought that I had a notebook somewhere with the details of the sellers because I gave him several choices within his price range. “Wow, thank you so much. I’ll admit, this went better than I expected. I didn’t think you’d respond,” he said. That marked my interaction with Greg. Within days, we moved our conversations from Instagram to WhatsApp and later had phone calls.
Greg was out of town for a couple of weeks for a work assignment, so meeting up was off the cards then. He was handsome and had a body that could have easily landed him on magazine covers when physical attributes determined who was on the cover page. But, at a certain age, the vibe with someone matters more than their looks, and Greg passed the vibe check. He was witty and eloquent. You’d also be mesmerized when he’d talk about serious stuff. I constantly wondered how he wasn’t off the market, yet he was quite the catch. I even allowed myself to think he was ‘kept’ for me.
Five weeks after we began chatting, Greg texted me, “Morning, beautiful. I’ll be back today and would like to make you dinner.”
“Morning to you too. Today?” I asked him.
“Yes. What better time than the present?” Greg responded.
“It’s a Monday. I’ll be working till 8 P.M.”
“Come on, you can come over after work,” Greg insisted.
“An advance notice would have been ideal. You’re literally springing this on me at the last minute,” I told him.
“Don’t be a buzz kill. I thought about it today and even got a surprise to spice things up,” Greg added.
“It was spontaneous but you also planned a surprise? Anyway, what will spice up things?” I asked him.
“So, you know how this city has something for everyone? I can’t give you the details, but I got connected to someone who’s an expert at rope bondage and I would like you to join us,” Greg said excitedly.
I choked on my coffee. “Rope play? As in BDSM stuff?” I asked him.
“Yes. I have wanted to try it for a while,” Greg responded casually.
I had so many questions running through my mind, but mostly, it felt like I was in a Fifty Shades script with a second-rate Christian Grey. But he was just Greg, the guy who had been making me giggle as I texted him for the last five weeks. He was so perfect until this moment.
“Greg, do you realize this would be our first meet-up?”
“Yes. That’s what makes this special. Who does this on their first date? It will be one for the books,” he responded.
“First date? It’s even a date?” I asked, hoping he’d read it in a screaming tone.
“Look, I think you’re a cool chick so there’s no need for me to pretend I’m not kinky. I want you to know the real me from the get-go,” Greg explained.
I read that message through the notification bar, so I didn’t have to respond immediately. On the one hand, I was glad I wasn’t finding out this after months of dating, but it also felt too straightforward. Then I went back to picturing what he had in mind. Was I to third-wheel? I then thought through our conversations and wondered whether I had done anything to make him think I would be okay with the idea.
“Unfortunately, I can’t make it,” I replied to his text.
“Too bad,” Greg responded.
It was clear but unspoken that our spark had gone off after that conversation. We discussed general things for a few more days and then stopped interacting.
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