Life is hard but a date isn’t the place to be complaining about it. Most people go on dates to forget about their problems and have some fun, light-hearted conversations for a few hours. However, there are people who think it’s an opportunity to rant and vent about their lives. Whether it’s on purpose or not, complaining about your life problems on a date is unacceptable.
After being single for a few months, I decided to go back to the dating scene. My intention was to meet someone I would spend the rest of my life with, so I hoped that someone who was serious about dating would be interested in me too. It wasn’t easy finding one. I went on a number of dates before finally meeting Mercy.
Mercy was a Facebook friend but I had never talked to her. One day, she posted a picture of herself which caught my attention so I contacted her. I didn’t expect that she would be single or even interested in me but to my surprise, she was.
“Looking good,” I commented under her photo.
Hours later, she replied, “Thanks. It’s been so long. How have you been?”
I thought she was confusing me with someone else since I didn’t know her personally but after chatting briefly, I remembered where I met Mercy.
“You asked for my number at Ben’s wedding and never called me. I don’t know how we ended up being Facebook friends but I’m happy we did.” She explained.
I got an instant flashback of the moment I asked for her number and felt a little embarrassed that I didn’t ask her out after that. In my defense, I work as a wedding photographer and I meet so many people that I don’t talk to again.
However, reconnecting with Mercy felt like fate. I was happy and optimistic about it.
“How are you still single?” I asked her
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you in person.”
“Great. Let’s meet for coffee soon.”
“Okay. I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
We talked a few days later and planned a coffee date for the weekend. I was so excited about the date and to talk to Mercy in person. We had been chatting over the phone and she seemed like someone I could get along with easily. I had even started telling my family and friends that I had found a girl that I was interested in.
They were skeptical since I didn’t have the best track record of staying in relationships but I assured them that I had changed.
“Bro, you’ll never settle down. You can’t stay in a relationship for more than a few months.”
“This time around I will do anything to make it last,” I said to one of my friends.
“I hope so. You need to get married and start a family.”
I hated that I was the only one in my friend group and family who wasn’t married or had a child. Yet, most people thought that I would be married before them. I had to focus on building a meaningful relationship and I was hopeful that I had finally found the one.
I was so excited about the date that I got to the restaurant two hours before the agreed time just to make sure everything was in order. After settling in, I ordered a bottle of beer as I perused the menu and practised what I would say to her in my head.
Mercy arrived on time and she looked stunning. We exchanged pleasantries before sitting down.
“You look good.” She said.
“Thanks. You look amazing. I’m still wondering why you’re single.”
“Don’t get me started. My life has been so hard.” She said.
“Really? Well, you look like you’ve been living the good life.”
“First of all, I haven’t even paid my rent and I don’t know how I will. My business has been doing so bad and I had to close it up.”
“Oh, that’s unfortunate,” I said, trying to cut the story short.
“That’s not even the worst part. I found out that my longtime boyfriend had been cheating on me for years and when we broke up, he took everything he had bought and left me with an empty house. I have nothing – money, love, property. Nothing!” She explained as she fought back tears.
I didn’t know what to say since we barely knew each other. Additionally, I had hoped that the date would go well yet it was off to a bad start. I wondered whether I should comfort her or try to change the subject. I decided to change the subject.
“What do you want to eat? The least I can do is buy you some food.” I said.
She didn’t seem very happy about the comment.
“Are you trying to say that I’m broke? I can afford my own food.” She complained.
“I meant that the least I can do to cheer you up is to buy you food since girls love food.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
There was nothing I said that wasn’t twisted to seem like I was insulting her. Nonetheless, she ordered her food and continued to complain about her life. I listened quietly hoping that after her rant, she would feel better and happier. I was still optimistic about the date.
She finally finished complaining and said, “I’m thinking of getting back with my ex. At least, he used to pay my bills. You seem like a stingy guy. You’re even complaining about buying me lunch.”
I tried to explain to her that she had misunderstood me but she didn’t want to hear it. I don’t think I said more than a few words throughout the date. It was a complete disaster and a waste of time. Nonetheless, I was nice enough to book an Uber for her so she could return home.
A few weeks later, Mercy posted on her Facebook that she was in a relationship. I assumed that she got back together with her ex since she had said she would. I have been single ever since. However, I realized that I shouldn’t rush the process if I wanted a relationship that would last.
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