I don’t like being strung along. Who does? Unfortunately, there are so many broken hearts out here that don’t know how to have a healthy relationship. Healing from a past relationship is essential to move on and have other healthy relationships. Otherwise, you end up reliving your past, repeating the same mistakes you made, and even getting back together with an ex. I was the unfortunate victim of a toxic relationship with someone who wasn’t over his past.
It was obvious from early on that David still had skeletons in his closet from his past relationship. He had been single for a few months but he still couldn’t stop talking about his ex and comparing me to her. At first, he would talk badly about her.
“My ex was the worst person I ever dated. She cheated on me with one of my friends.” He said.
“That’s so bad,” I replied.
“I hope you’re not like her.”
“Of course, I’m not.”
He kept insisting that he never wanted to date anyone like his ex but he talked about her all the time. Then, his true feelings started to show. David was always angry at me for something. Whether it was the way I dressed or my cooking, he had nothing good to say about me. On the other hand, his ex, the girl who cheated on him, was an angel. He always said that his ex was a better cook and had a better figure compared to me.
The only reason I didn’t break up with him earlier was that David always apologized and begged me not to leave him.
“I don’t have anyone else. My ex used to be my best friend. Now, you’re my best friend.” He said.
“You don’t treat me like your best friend though. You’re always shouting and criticizing me.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do it again.”
I hoped that he would forget her with time which he did. After a few months, I didn’t hear anything about her and David started focusing on our relationship. We even went on a date for the first time since we started dating. It wasn’t perfect but at least we were spending time together.
Nonetheless, our relationship had started on a bad note and I was constantly walking on eggshells so that David wouldn’t get angry at me. Even when we did things together, it always felt like David wished he was doing them with his ex. After a few failed dates, I decided not to go on any more dates.
However, David wasn’t the worst person I ever dated. What he lacked in affection, he made up for in gifts. Though we stopped going on dates, he still made an effort to make me feel special. He would buy me things regularly which made me happy. At least I wasn’t so miserable in the relationship. Whenever things were going back, I would remember those sweet gestures and knew that he cared about me.
After a while, I decided to go on another date with him. However, the timing couldn’t be worse. David had started talking about his ex again because he had recently run into her.
“I saw my ex yesterday when I was carrying flowers for you.” He said.
I laughed but I felt uncomfortable hearing about her again.
“It’s good she saw me carrying those flowers so she knows what she missed.” He continued.
I didn’t say anything hoping that he would get the hint that I didn’t want to talk about her. He continued to revisit his past relationship while I tried my best to ignore him.
“Are we still going out this weekend?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
When the day came, we both got ready and went to the restaurant. David looked uneasy but it was nothing new. We always had bad experiences on dates and I didn’t have high expectations on that one. We barely spoke to each other since David was on his phone a lot. Then, his facial expression changed. He smiled for the first time since we arrived and I thought that he was finally going to pay attention to me.
“My ex is calling.” He said, still smiling.
Before I could say anything, he picked up. He hadn’t talked to his ex over the phone and I didn’t even know that he had her number. They talked for a while then after the call, he broke the news that his ex wanted them to get back together.
“She wants me back.” He said.
“Is this the right place to have this discussion?” I asked.
“I don’t know what to do.” He continued, ignoring my question.
“Do whatever you want.”
It was like I didn’t exist at that point. Without considering my feelings, David called his ex and told her that he wanted to get back together with her. I could hear the whole conversation and he told her how much he missed her. I tried to fight back my tears but I couldn’t. Tears streamed down my face as he continued to talk to her.
It felt like I was in a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. To make matters worse, I had to go back to our apartment to get my things. At least, he called an Uber for me to go first. I packed a few clothes and went to my friend’s place. He later packed my remaining things and sent them to me. I noticed that he hadn’t packed anything that he had bought for me. I was okay with it since I didn’t want anything that reminded me of him.
The whole relationship had been a mess and I felt so defeated. I had wasted a whole year of my life with someone who had no desire to be with me and was simply buying time to get back together with his ex.
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