Social media has revealed an interesting dynamic between men and women. One of the most common types of relationship content online is pranks. Couples pranking each other. Couples prank each other anytime anywhere including even on their wedding day. Let’s talk about this culture of pranking and what it reveals about heterosexual relationships.
ah yes the world need more abuse jokes ofc i fucking hate public prank culture https://t.co/Y4Mwjln6mg
— Zulqaif🏳️🌈 (@zulqaifplus) August 8, 2023
Humiliation and abuse masquerading as pranks
There’s the one where a man pretends he is hugging his partner then he chops off a chunk of her hair before collapsing in a fit of laughter. She’s openly upset but he is beyond tickled, jumping up and down with glee. There’s another one where the groom on his wedding day tells his bride to jump with him into the pool, then at the moment of jumping in he doesn’t. Brutal. On their first day as a married couple. A few hours into it actually.
https://www.tiktok.com/@_cal_cifer/video/7262463737574100270
https://www.tiktok.com/@nypost/video/7251646259021483310?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7265312761542133254
The problem with pranks
There is no shortage of similar content online from couples lying to each other to deliberately scaring the piss out of each other for laughs. Let’s talk about the problem with pranks.
Excuses harm and abuse
Calling something a prank immediately sanitizes it. It is no longer seen as the harmful act it is. In the case of the man who chopped off his partner’s hair, if he’d done that at any other point, it would have been considered abuse, but because it was a prank, it’s not seen as such. In any other instance, destroying something so integral to someone’s sense of self would be entirely unacceptable, in this instance it is funny. Hell, even the victim is not allowed to feel the sense of loss and harm, they are required to laugh along with the person harming them. If they don’t laugh, they don’t have a sense of humour and are stuck up. They just can’t take a joke. They’re too sensitive. Classic gaslighting.
Abusers destroy things their victims love. There’s no exaggeration in calling that man an abuser. Hair is precious and so personal for women in this society. He knew exactly what he was doing, that it would hurt her and he went ahead and did it. He deliberately destroyed something he knew was important to her, for laughs. That’s an abuser and there’s nothing funny about it.
Hides hate and disdain
Consider the second incident when the groom tricked his bride into jumping into the pool without him. This was their first day as a married couple, their first few hours as partners. What does he choose to do? He starts their journey as a married couple by deceiving her. On a day when people are on their best behaviour, still high on the emotion of the day, he chooses to deceive her and make her the butt of a joke. No one who loves you would do that. No one who cares about you even a little bit would do that.
Let’s imagine how they spent the rest of those hours if there were still some family and friends around. She is walking beside him in her wet dress, with ruined hair and make-up while people wonder how to respond to it. Some choose to laugh about it, the bride has to keep it together and not lose her cool, meanwhile, the groom is standing next to her in his tailored suit looking cool and can be, proud of his little prank. No one who loves you actively does that to you. Those are the actions of someone who secretly despises you.
For a prank to be anything but harmful and abusive, it requires consent, and it needs to have no significant impact on the person. Cutting someone’s hair and making them the butt of the joke on their wedding day are neither.
Check out
Relationships: On Men Hating Their Partners And Signs Your Man Hates You
Types Of Domestic Abuse That Don’t Include Physical Abuse, And What Signs To Look Out For
Sex-Related Relationship Red Flags
Relationships: Dating Red Flags You Should Look Out For
The Red Flags To Watch For That Show Your Partner Is Using You
