Divorce is never easy and can still affect you years after it happens. No one gets married expecting to get a divorce. We all want a happily ever after kind of marriage that stands the tears of time. Unfortunately, divorce is more common than ever and there are so many people who bear the scars of messy divorces. Old or young, no one is safe from the heartbreak of a divorce.
I went through a divorce a few years ago and it was one of the worst moments of my life. So, when one of my friends told me that she was going through a divorce, I promised that I would be there for her because I knew firsthand how difficult it can be. Within a few months, she became a shell of a person and lost her self-confidence.
“He wants to take everything, even my business.” She explained.
“Don’t worry. Charles is one of the best divorce lawyers in the country. He’ll make sure you get what you deserve.”
“I don’t know how I’ll handle this. There’s something new happening every day.”
“Just take it easy. If you want, we can meet for coffee in the evening.”
“You know, I haven’t left the house in two weeks. My nails look like claws and my hair is a mess.”
“Well, this is a good excuse to get yourself done.”
“I think so too.”
“We can meet tomorrow after I leave work.”
“Okay. I can’t wait to see you.”
I’m not going to lie, I had a hidden agenda. I always had a crush on Suzy and I wanted to make my move now that she was getting a divorce. However, I was still concerned about her well-being and whether she accepted my advances or not, I wanted to make sure that she was okay.
The following day, Suzy texted me to ask about the coffee date.
“Where are we going?” She asked.
“We could go to the News Cafe.”
“Okay, just as long as it’s not Java. They remind me of my ex-husband.”
“Okay. Anything else?”
“Don’t try to flirt with me. I can’t handle that kind of attention right now.”
I laughed since she caught me off guard but I agreed, nonetheless. As mentioned, my priority was to make sure she was okay.
“I promise, I won’t flirt with you. I’m leaving work in an hour so we can meet around 6.30.”
I got to the cafe earlier than I thought and had to wait for Suzy to arrive. She came almost two hours later. I could tell something was wrong from the moment I saw her. She looked dishevelled despite her attempts to cover it up with makeup. It’s like she had been crying the whole night. However, I didn’t want to say anything about her looks since it would only make her feel worse.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked, trying to take her mind off whatever she was thinking about.
“I’ll just have a glass of wine.”
I knew it was a bad idea for her to drink in that condition but I didn’t want to argue with her, especially in public.
“So how are you doing?”
“Bad. Divorce is hard. I cry almost every day. My kids cry because they miss their dad and he’s out there frolicking with all types of women. He’s not even trying to mend the relationship.” She explained.
I was quiet and lent her a listening ear since that’s what she needed but that was a huge mistake. The date turned into a counselling session. She ranted for about an hour about her divorce then ordered another glass of wine and continued ranting.
I don’t think I said more than ten words the entire time.
“He’s such an evil man. He’s trying to take my kids, the house, the car and my business. I’ll be left with nothing and he doesn’t care. He told his lawyer that he wants to see me suffer for embarrassing him. He’s mad at me because I asked for a divorce after I caught him cheating. What kind of a man does that?”
She was in her third glass of wine and was still ranting. At some point, she stopped making sense and started talking about everything in her life while crying. I held her hand throughout and tried to be supportive but my attempts to calm her down failed.
I was getting a headache just listening to her but I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. By the end of the night, I felt overwhelmed and tired. Listening to her brought back memories of my own divorce. It also gave me a different perspective on what women go through during a divorce. I thought it was hard on me but after hearing what Suzy had been through, I knew it must have been worse for my ex-wife.
At around 11 pm, Suzy finally calmed down after crying for a good hour. She wiped her tears with a napkin and then tried to force a smile.
“You must think I’m embarrassing.”
“If I didn’t know what divorce did to people, I would have run out the door but I understand what you’re going through.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
I drove her home and the Suzy in the car was a completely different person from the one in the cafe. She was laughing at my silly jokes and singing along to the songs on the radio. She looked genuinely happy compared to the way she walked into the cafe.
When we got to her place, she gave me a kiss on my cheek and thanked me once again for the date. We agreed that we would meet at least once a week which we did until she got officially divorced.
“I wouldn’t have made it without you.” She said
“So, I’m allowed to flirt with you now.” I joked.
After what I had gone through with her, I no longer saw her in a romantic way. We had become really close that it felt wrong trying to hit on her. I also don’t think both of us were ready for a relationship.
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