Part of what makes life cosier is friendships. When one mentions friendship the things that come to mind are all the good things that come with friendship, including fun times, laughter, warmth, and support, rarely does anyone mention the issues in friendships, which are sometimes too much to tolerate, leading to people cutting off these friends.
I am sure you had a friend whom you used to be too close to. Now, they are another person who is an acquaintance. You two rarely talk the way you used to, and maybe there are no signs of that closeness ever returning.
We cut people off due to different reasons. It might be wrong they did you or an intention you saw in them that did not sit well with you. It could even be something petty that you could not stand. Whichever the case, every person’s reason to cut off another is valid.
A Twitter user by the Twitter handle @wealth_director asked in a tweet what made people cut off their friends and from the replies, here are people’s reasons for cutting off their friends.
When friendship becomes one-sided, you will get more apologies about prior plans they had for a particular event or activity. For instance, something significant happens in their lives, and you never knew about it. When you find out and ask, they use the cliché response of, “I should have told you”. This was the case for a Twitter user by the name @Ladydie_Sage.
“Continually being let down and plans cancelled at the last minute if told at all. When I enquired if she was ok after a no show, being then told “I suppose I should have let you know”. Enough was enough.” @Laydie_Sage
You have probably encountered this one. Somebody is your friend but something about their character does not sit well with you. Some, like Ol@sing, decide to cut them off.
“The truth is that whenever I see a friend or friends having a character, behaviour or attitude that doesn’t sit with me, I might necessarily not cut you off…it is just that my Yes is my yes and my NO is my no except I just decide to be there for you on my will…” @olak97
In other instances, the friendship that attracts cutting off is one in a parent-child dynamic. This type of friendship involves one party taking the parent’s role while the other takes up the child’s role. Here, the one taking up the parent role keeps giving and receiving nothing from the other party. The @chicken_noodley cut the friend off due to this.
“Because it was more of a parent-child relationship than an actual friendship. I realized that I gave and gave but never received. I became emotionally worried about their reactions. I was just there to pick them back up, while I was falling into pieces. They were my toxin.”
While many people have unique reasons for cutting others off, a user by the name @_Shekon_ had one very peculiar reason. Her friend copied her style, and that was it for her.
She copied my style, met online and met up once. Started saying she loved me and that I was her “bestie”. Every time I died my hair a different colour, she would copy me. Too many red flags so I ghosted her and blocked her.
Friendship ought to bring flavour to one’s life. However, when a friendship starts becoming the crack that drains you of life because of too much judgment, then it becomes pointless. A user named @justapersianmum gave this as the reason she cut off friends.
Judgement. Once from a friend that didn’t understand why I wanted to get married and have a suburban life and later by a mom friend that didn’t understand why I had a life outside my husband and kids (work, travel, etc) friends should add to your life not cause stress. I’m happy.
Communication may be the one aspect that either makes or breaks any relationship. When communication is founded on constant misunderstanding, then the friendship ends up being too much work, like in the case of @Maggiemagssssss.
Miscommunication. We both saw each other in a different way and it just didn’t work out. The “friend” didn’t want to try to work through the problem and just ended the friendship. One of the best and worst experiences that I went through.
Talking of one-sided friendships, have you ever experienced a situation where you can be there for your friend, but you are not sure if they will be there for you just in case you need help? This case led to a user named @ugh_no_than_you cutting off a friend.
“Friend” only reached out when she wanted to piss and moan about something. If I needed someone to talk to, however, it was radio silence.
Still, on one-sided friendships, it sometimes takes a painful moment to know who your friends are. Some friends are only there during the good times. Otherwise, when you get sick or experience something terrible, they disappear. For @zloe54646645, this painful moment involved getting diagnosed with cancer and reaching out to a friend who showed no concern.
In the middle of this right now. Had cancer last year and although have reached out many times I get nothing back. Nothing opens your eyes up more when you have gone through something like that. But we live and we learn
While everyone gives their reason for cutting off friends, someone comes with a different perspective. According to @AndreasKoureas9, the cut-offs we are talking about are only phases where we get a clear view of friendship.
During our 20s we have many relationships that we perceive as friendships, but actually they are not. During our late 20s /early 30s, we just become more accurate about what a friendship is. So this is the actual reason for most “cut offs”: a better approach of the term “friend”.
Other times, an individual’s cutting off another individual never comes from the point of their being wrong. One may cut off another individual from his or her life because the individual may be too good for them. Sometimes you realize that an individual has a distorted view of who we are. Meaning their expectations may not even be met in the long run. For the user by the name @kimitiEsther, cutting off her friend was from this perspective.
Rather than them being the cause of our lost friendship, it was me who was the reason why our bond never lasted. It was my choice, but I mostly did it for their benefit because I was not the person she thought I was.
Then, of course, some friends only want you for themselves. It never sits well with them to see you with another friend. For the user by the name @Ak_Iheanacho, this friendship was coupled with clinginess and stalking.
Too clingy…they wanted me to themselves, and would get jealous when I hangout with other friends. She was monitoring my Whatsapp ; online, last seen, read receipts..yhooo I couldn’t deal
They say that when respect isn’t served, do not sit to dine at that table. For @itzz_Bareera, the lack of respect for their friendship from the other party pushed him to initiate a cut-off.
Toxic relation…. Straight forwardness … That always break heart….thinking that she is supreme and other one is not equal to her foot…… Lack of respect for friendship ..not valuing the Relation and many more
While cutting off is a real thing happening all around, for @victor02852133 cutting off of friends only happens when the two people were not actual friends, to begin with.
Don’t think it’s possible. A friend to me is like a family member that doesn’t have a blood relation to U. You can’t just cut it off. Just like you can’t stop being related to someone. Not possible unless you weren’t really friends to begin with.
When a friend ignored @Frosa1980 because she was spending time with her other friends, this did not sit well with her. What happened to introducing your friend to your other friends and getting along?
Being used & then ignored when her other friends are around on New Year’s Eve. 2023 didn’t start well & haven’t heard from her since. 25 years of friendship lost over a new neighbor’s friendship. Always there for her but, when I needed her too busy to sit.
Sometimes, one gets too busy even to get a moment to talk with a friend. This is where if one’s friends are not understanding, then it may seem like one is distancing themselves, which may not be the case. For @TrengYang, planning her wedding was time-consuming. They got little time together. This led her friends to give her an ultimatum to choose between the husband and them, which was it for their friendship.
While some people do the cutting-off quickly, others take ages to execute this intention. For @Jaden_Hercules, it has always been saying it but not cutting off the friends.
Other times, cutting off an individual is not about what they have done to you. However, the cutting off may be due to aspects such as incompatibility and their beliefs. For @Lyrndah, cutting off a friend was about how they were incompatible with each other, and the friend’s ideas of what was cool did not sit well with her.
We weren’t compatible and I’m not even ready to start adjusting to accommodate the kind of stuff they think are cool that I don’t myself, consider cool.
Boundaries in friendships have a thin line that one friend may cross from time to time, leading to conflicts. For eo_ditty, cutting off a particular friend came from disrespecting her boundaries.
Lack of boundaries, no self-accountability… erratic, sending incoherent messages when wasted… acting like nothing ever happened. Sometimes people are just on a COMPLETELY different wavelength from you. You have to protect yourself & do what’s best for you.
Here is another instance of a one-sided friendship. One-sided friendships may even involve a lack of communication from one party. Here, the friend of @widdershins99 went silent when she stopped calling and texting.
I realized I was doing all the work, calling & texting, making plans around her availability. So I quit contacting her. She never contacted me again.
Cutting off sometimes comes from the point of protecting a friend from hurt. When one sees themselves for who they are and decides to save the other party from what could befall them, it is one way of being kind.
You may have cut someone off, or maybe even a victim of the process; that you were cut off. Regardless of how you have experienced it, it happens from time to time and life has to go on. After all, it is motivated by the aim of making life less stressful, and easier to live.
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