If you have never been heartbroken, then count your blessings. There is nothing worse than craving the experience of a human being, and not being able to get to them. Relationship heartbreaks are painful, but friendship heartbreaks? A different kind of pain.
We all pray and hope that our friendships will last forever. Many of us believe that they will, and in the case that they don’t, we can end up devastated. Friendship heartbreaks can feel like physical illness. You actually feel pain in your heart. It’s painful, and getting over something like this is hard, but doable.
Here are some of the things that you can do to get over a friendship heartbreak.
- Examine what went wrong in the friendship
To get over a friendship heartbreak, you first need to understand what role you played in the heartbreak. In many instances, heartbreak happens when both parties do something or fail to do it. It’s important for you to examine what went wrong in the friendship and carry the lessons over for the future.
If you feel issues you need to work on played any part at the end of the friendship, then consider outpatient therapy, especially if this is not the first time an important relationship has suffered, or if you’ve realized that this is a recurring pattern in your life and/or friendships.
- Acknowledge the pain
We have probably all heard the saying that you have to go through something to get through it. Ignoring your friendship heartbreak is not an exception to this rule. You must acknowledge the pain, and see that it’s affecting you if you are to get through it. Dani Moye, who is a family therapist, says, “Take the time to reflect on what this shift means to you and sit with the discomfort of sadness. When we don’t grieve the relational losses we’ve endured, it may take us longer to move on.”
Exercising has numerous mental health benefits. If you know the dopamine effects of happiness that you feel after a workout, then you understand what I’m talking about. Join a new gym. Practice yoga, or strength training. Run around the block. Pick up something brand new. Physical fitness has wondrous benefits on mental health and overall wellbeing. It can help prevent the onset of depression and anxiety which may come about after a heartbreak.
- Try out a new friend group
Hanging out with a new crowd is a refreshing experience. They don’t know much about you, and so it seems like starting off on a clean slate. You learn a lot when you socialize with new people. You learn about yourself and about them as well. Trying out a new friend group is a great way to get over a friendship heartbreak. Even as you are doing so, don’t be so quick to replace your friend. It’s not always easy to meet new people, especially once you get past your 20s, but it’s important not to let the loss of one friend make you feel unworthy. Relationships: Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time Around New Company And Make New Friends
- Accept that there’s no getting over it.
I have a problem with the saying Time heals all wounds. Physical wounds? Maybe. Emotional wounds? Questionable. All it does is make the pain more bearable. You learn to live with the pain, you don’t get over it. Accepting this will go a long way in helping you to bear with the pain. Shelby Forsythia, a certified grief recovery specialist says, “While it’s not nearly as recognized as death, divorce, and diagnosis, the loss of a dear friend is very painful and leaves a hole in your life that can never be filled in the same way.”
- Feel free to tailor your social media
Comparison issues are a problem as it is. Now, comparing yourself to someone who is no longer your friend? That can get toxic. The solution is to tailor your social media such that you don’t interact with their content. Mute, delete, archive, and block. You don’t have to feel guilty about it. “You don’t want to do something aggressive that will only make you feel worse (or lead your friend to escalate things), but you also want to protect yourself from constantly being reminded of your upset,” says Dr. Andrea Bonior who is a professor of psychology at Georgetown University.
Read about How To Maintain Strong And Lasting Friendships and 8 Friendship Red Flags You Should Watch Out For.
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