Imagine growing up in a family where you see and experience love. You see the way your dad adores your mum, they go on dates and they look like two love birds, who just fell in love and still are on their honeymoon but the truth is, they have been married for years, they are high school sweethearts. Classic love story right?
So, Joan grew up seeing all these. She dreamt and hoped that her first boyfriend would be her last. She grew up with all these fantasies. You see all those little fantasies you had when you were a kid, that maybe you will grow old together? That maybe even in death you would die together? Or if one partner the other wouldn’t get repaired or remarry? That’s how she grew up. She had a pretty decent childhood, one with stability and joy.
In high school during one of those funkies, she met a guy, Julius. Julius was a sweet guy, a smooth talker, handsome, and knew how to treat and appreciate a lady. One day during their normal talks she asked, “Jay, what plans do you have for us?”
“You know I feel you right? I want to spend eternity with you. I want to have 4 kids with you, two girls and two boys. Boys first so that they can protect the kids. Then every Sunday is family day, no job, no calls no nothing” he said
I mean, was he reading her mind? Joan fell deeper and deeper, knowing that whatever lay ahead, they would conquer it together.
All was well, they did the KCSE and all passed well, but as we all know, Kenya Universities and Colleges Central Placement Service (KUCCPS) doesn’t really know couples when doing their placements for Campus. Unfortunately, Joan’s parents wanted her to go to a university in Nairobi, a private university and Jay was posted at a university in Bungoma County. Well, long-distance relationships are tough and hard, especially for a young couple.
Joan joined campus before those joining public universities would join. All was well, Jay would visit Joan every day at her hostel, take lunch, escort her to class, and come back like literally, he had nothing to do at all but pamper his girl. Weeks flew by, and Jay had to report to school and they had the ultimate decision to talk about the relationship’s future.
“Jay, I know it will strain us, but since I value you and value us, let us go to Bungoma, I take a parallel course, and then we get a house and stay together. It will make matters easier for us,” she said.
First love always has a way of shutting down one’s brain and it did in fact. As the street saying goes, ‘There are a number of people you can never advise and one of them includes those in love, you can not advise them’.
Well, Jay joined a month earlier than Joan joined him, little did she know, she had created a scenario she could not dig herself out too.
Little did she know that for the one month, Jay was in school, he had started having doubts about them. Well, he had seen girls, a lot of girls, and being young, he wanted to flex his way with girls.
All was well, the first month they were all good, dates, couple goals and everyone envied them totally, but as we all know, every person has to be tested, and with time, true colours come out.
Two months later, Jay started behaving fishy, the phone was either on aeroplane mode or was off and he had a lot of “co-curriculum activities“ or he wanted a lot of boy time. Jona would complain about it. We all know if your dog is barking at you the owner then know there is someone else feeding it well, and this was the case. Jay was physically and emotionally not available. Joan would call and would leave study groups to go search for him, but we all know, if someone loves you, they will create time.
“Why did I leave Nairobi, a good course just to come and get no reciprocation or effort? Or is it that maybe I don’t do make-up? Or is it that I am not light-skinned?” She wondered.
We all know and have been in such a place in life, questioning even looking for someone who does not recognize you, and we know how depressing that can be. She never gave up, she would con her parents’ money to buy all the make-up she wanted, hairstyle change-up, wardrobe, and shoes, hoping Jay would notice her, but we all know how ‘kafukuswi’ (f**kboys) behave.
‘Jay, I think we need to talk’ she texted.
‘How about tomorrow night?’ He replied.
‘Sure, come to the house we talk’ she replied.
We all know what ‘night’ means.
That night all was well, a little wine, smooth music, and well, do we need to say it? Jay was a fast sleeper, he slept and forgot to switch off his phone. It kept blowing up and she wondered how when he was away he was never on the phone but all this time, his phone was blowing up.
She did what we all normally do, search for the truth. She opened the phone, read the messages, went to the gallery, and all along, she was crushing and losing her mind. Then she did the ultimate thing, checked her phone number and how it was saved. She was ‘mum’.
She threw the phone at Jay and ordered him out of the house. She was screaming and feeling the pain which cut deeper. She had left a career in medicine, her passion and sacrificed everything for a cheating boyfriend. She left all her friends and a comfortable home just to come and get heartbroken.
Joan was never prepared for such a situation in life. She only knew love, the love she had seen her dad shower her mother with, the love she had seen every time the mum smiled and blew a kiss to her dad. She has never seen nor experienced heartbreaks. She just heard about ‘character development ‘ but never knew she would one day experience it.
She remembers how Jay stopped her from making friends, especially of the opposite sex.
Jay would angrily say, “There is nothing like being just friends! They want you and you are entertaining them!”
So here she was all alone, in a new environment, far away from home. She quit medicine and the life she had dreamed of ever since she was a small kid, to follow a community husband. The funny thing about breakups is that immediately after the breakup, all the dirty linen that was hidden was out in public.
A few weeks after the breakup, something happened. A girl, one of Jay’s flings came and told her to go get an STI test because she was infected. She had thought that Jay had broken up with her but found out that at the time they were dating, Jay was also dating Joan.
After the hospital test, yes, she confirmed indeed she was infected. She was given some drugs and immediately she left for home. She had to come clean with her parents because it was too much for her to handle.
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