If you are like most people, then at one point or the other you have found yourself comparing your life to someone else’s. That’s not a problem, because sometimes people’s achievements can motivate you into doing good yourself. However, this isn’t always the case. When comparison leads you to feel less worthy and less accomplished, that’s where the problem comes in. Comparisonitis is an impulsive act of comparing oneself to another, leading to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.
The problem with comparisonitis is that it takes Deficiency Anxiety to the next level. You frequently feel like a failure when viewing the success of others. You feel dispirited and paralyzed in moving forward with your own work because it will never measure up to what others have done.
Here are a few ways in which you can conquer comparisonitis:
Create more than you consume
Let’s be honest. Comparisonitis comes in when you focus on other people’s lives instead of focusing on improving your own. You spend more time discovering what people are doing with their lives and how they are bettering themselves. In the end, you become the loser because people hardly ever speak on the negative side of their lives. The solution? Start creating more than you consume. Don’t spend hours researching what other people are doing. Instead, focus on your path.
Regulate your social media use
Comparisonitis has been a thing from time immemorial, but social media has worsened it. Now more than ever we have access to what people are doing with their time and how much better it looks than our own. If you spend two hours daily on Instagram alone, then all that time has been spent monitoring other people’s lives. Guess what? You will always find people who are better than you. In J. Cole’s song, Love Yourz, he raps ‘Always going to be a whip that’s better than the one you got. Always going to be some clothes that are fresher than the ones you rock. But you will never be happy until you love yours’.
Being aware that you have a comparison problem is the first step to dealing with it. Monitor your thoughts. Are they good for you? If not, change your focus. Do something different every time you find yourself comparing your life to other peoples. We often forget to pay attention to the warning signs in our bodies. If you start feeling anxious, sad, or jealous, take a pause. So the next time you notice any anxious feelings in your body as a result of comparing yourself, take a time out.
One of my favourite mantras is ‘Collaboration over competition.’ Rather than see people as competition, why not see them as role models? Try to emulate what they are doing right, and find ways to incorporate this into what you do. There’s space for everyone in this world. Find ways to work with people who you feel ‘envious of’ and in doing so you will expand your knowledge about what you admire in them. Not everything is a competition, and especially if it only serves to make you feel worse about yourself.
One of the main sources of comparison syndrome is ingratitude. When you don’t recognize your strength, your power, and your abilities, you are likely to start comparing yourself to others. Comparisonitis makes you focus on all the things you don’t have – or think you don’t have. The grass always looks greener on the other side, but it’s not. Start with gratitude lists. Recognize your unique abilities, your values, and the amazing people in your life. This will help you to conquer comparisonitis. 10 ways to show gratitude #Asante
My name is Laura Ayienga, a 25-year-old writer & marketer, experiencing the highs (not claiming the lows) of life. I discovered my passion for writing on this very blog back in 2019 and since then, I’ve been using it to express myself as candidly and authentically as possible.