Twitter is an online office water cooler where strangers gather to share the latest discourse. Recently, South African users confessed what they did to a friend and shared what has happened to them. Looking at some of the posts, with friends like these, you wouldn’t need enemies.
A little envy among friends is usually harmless. However, if left to fester, it can eat you both alive. A friend’s envy of others can lead to inferiority, hostility, resentment, and sabotage. Friends can make comparisons to each other’s lives consciously or unconsciously, and this can lead to a devastating breakdown of the relationship.
A workplace envy
In one such confession, one 25-year-old individual confessed about how they landed a job and received hands-on training from a man who would go out of his way to introduce them in his meetings. They were also endorsed to senior management when they completed their training and gained independence in running their roles. After which, they got a probationary role and later a recommendation for permanent placement. They were placed in his department, but later they learned that his subordinates didn’t like him. They were shown all his wrongdoings, and he started getting blamed when things didn’t work out.
The subordinates were envious that he was management’s favourite. This led to them ignoring him when he greeted them. They also launched a go-slow at work and failed to answer client requests. He cottoned on to the goings-on, started responding to clients directly, and went above and beyond to run the department himself. After he called for a meeting to discuss what was wrong within the department, but none of them cooperated. He called for another meeting with human resources, where the team was charged with insubordination and negligence, with many receiving warning letters.
The individual heard of plans to get rid of him, and they observed that everyone else in the department was a diploma holder while they were a degree holder. Should he be successfully terminated, they would get the position. The team decided to secure the services of a sangoma to get rid of him. After crowdsourcing funds to pay the sangoma, they participated in a ritual leading to the man’s resignation. However, a few days later, he died in a car accident. The individual’s colleagues were happy. In seemingly karmic retribution, the department was handed over to a manager of Indian descent who was a lot worse than a boss.
When friends wish you harm
More people came forward with confessions and reactions on Twitter. One user, Pearl, shared her shock at how you could be minding your own business when other people compete with you.
Tlhalefo shared how she took sick leave at work, and her work friend lied that she was having a barbecue and even signed a witness statement only for it to come out later that she was admitted to the hospital.
It’s common for friends to feel envious of your successes, partner, house, car, or phone. Usually, good friends will rarely feel envious. Your joy is their joy. But envy is a human emotion, and those with enough self-awareness work on themselves and eventually get over it. Others may not be as benevolent. They succumb to a baser desire to see you miserable, especially if they have been miserable. In extreme cases, some can even resort to murder to take that which you’ve accomplished.
It’s hard to pinpoint who may have it out against you. A lot of the sentiments on the Twitter feed over the aforementioned work story suggest prayer. But not even God can protect you from bad friends. The ones you trust the most have the greatest power to hurt you. You can look for certain signs to know when to avoid a friend who is more likely to scratch your new car out of malice than send you a gift card for your first fuel run.
Signs your friend may be jealous of you
1. They’re reserved about your happiness
When you share the good news, many people will likely congratulate you. But a reserved friend, only offering a casual shrug when you offer them a tour of your new home, is less likely to be lovely about your achievement. While sometimes, people are reserved because they’re going through something, but if it’s a pattern of behaviour to be sullen every time you share good news, that may be an envious friend.
2. Backhanded compliments
If your friend is constantly doling out passive-aggressive jabs or backhanded compliments, this may indicate they’re not a real friend. For instance, if you struggled to land a new position and their first reaction is a jab that you must have gotten it due to underhanded connections or bribery. They can also be unnecessarily unpleasant about a meal you prepared, constantly complaining about nonissues like the water isn’t the perfect temperature or that they’ve seen the cutlery used on sale somewhere.
3. Making things about themselves
Friends can share their successes. Often a conversation about success will rotate around the group chat. Many people will share a time they were also successful, but eventually, it comes back to what you were able to achieve. They’re being relatable, but it’s still about you. However, you could have that one friend who doesn’t want to hear about what you were able to achieve. Whenever you share an accomplishment, they cut you off to talk about themselves and don’t care to listen to you, it’s time to rethink that friendship.
8 Friendship Red Flags You Should Watch Out For
How do you deal with workplace envy?
The problem with envious coworkers is they believe that what’s available to you will never be for them. A Twitter user, Snow, shared how a friend stole her business idea and even thanked her for giving her the idea of purchasing the space. The friend it on Snow’s birthday weekend. Other work friends can also sabotage your chances of securing a promotion. Putting them as references can also cost you a new job. Can you protect yourself from such people?
1. Remain civil
Being retaliatory can lead to more chaos and drama. It can also lead you to trouble if you’re reported. The best thing to do is document their behaviour if you need to report them while remaining blameless.
2. Be supportive
Sometimes coworkers get envious because they struggle with their work when you aren’t. If they’re polite, you can offer to show them the ropes and how they can better achieve their duties. However, you must be careful to ensure they are receptive to advice. When they comment on how easy it is for you, offer to help and leave them the offer to come to you for assistance.
3. Watch how your coworkers interact
If you are new to an office, watch how your peers interact with others. Monitoring how they treat people can give you an insight into whether these people can be trusted. In the story shared at the beginning, the 25-year-old should have known that her coworkers aren’t trustworthy because of their conspiracy to harm a good boss.
4. Don’t take it personally
Other people’s envy of you has little to do with you. It’s not your responsibility to fix their issues. It’s up to them to work on whatever is causing the envy. If you decide to confront them about their behaviour, do it discretely and in a neutral place away from the office. You may find that the problem is something deeper running for them.
Knowing which friends to trust for your job’s safety can be difficult. You never really know who is waiting with a knife to stab you in the back. It may be safer to keep your business or work ideas guarded against people you don’t trust implicitly, but they, too, can turn tail and spite you.
Ultimately, trust is a leap of faith and you only ever really know who will hurt you when they do.
Check out:
Relationships: On Jealous Friends And How to Spot Them
Communication Etiquette In Your Friendship Circles To Enhance Trust And Respect
Are You Still Friends Or Is Your Friendship One-Sided? Have You Become A Fan?
Relationships: 6 Ways To Get Over A Friendship Heartbreak
An Accidental Screenshot Breaks A 3 Year Friendship
Our Friendship Turned Into A Competition & Then She Stole My Man
