We’ve heard of prenuptial agreements, which couples sign to protect their assets. However, did you know that baby prenups exist?
Inspired by a prenuptial agreement, a baby prenup is also an agreement made prior to a baby’s birth. It doesn’t require legal guidance or monies. On the contrary, it is tailored by the parents of the unborn child, as a way to break down baby chores, and communication and take care of the predictable elements that surround the birth of a baby.
A baby prenup captures parental duties and chores, but unlike a legal document, it leaves the freedom for both mother and father of the child to make adjustments. In essence, it is meant to help parents divide tasks and share responsibilities like who’s changing the diapers or who is waking up to cradle the baby back to sleep.
Aside from roles shared post-partum a baby prenup can also be used even after the baby leaves infancy to include childcare drop-offs and financial contributions.
After the concept was shared on social media many didn’t seem pleased. In fact, some of the strong reactions evoked by the topic revolved around culture, marriage, parenting and gender roles.
I’ve prepared and contested prenups, custodial agreements, terms of settlement in family matters and related agreements, and this is what I’ve learnt: If you feel the need to regulate every inch of your marriage or relationship with agreements in this fashion, better stay single.
If everything is contractual, then why get married? What in this case was d sentiment behind being together that led you 2 to get married? I think we should be careful in adopting tots n opinions that we hear from people we meet n interact with, lest we bring hurt upon ourselves
The idea of baby prenups didn’t seem any different than an organizational board/duty roster shared among siblings. Those who saw the importance of a baby prenup shared a chain of positive responses and here are some;
This sounds amazing. New parents woild cut each other's stress by half if they pitched in like this.
No kids but already i can handle changing diapers perfectly no matter the mess in there, feeding, standing for hrs in the middle of the nights to knowing when they’re growing teeths.. cooking name it. I know i got us covered but i want to know you’ll also b there 4 us. So sign ✍🏿
It goes without saying that sharing is caring, but in order for a baby prenup to work, there needs to be a good flow of communication between partners. The setting should also allow open-mindedness and a sense of accountability with both parents gearing towards a common goal. That is, giving each other support (regardless of the document) to avoid burnout, strain, and stress which could bring more hurdles in a relationship.
Nonetheless, just as a coin comes with two sides this reward cannot be without a punishment aspect.
If you’ve shared duties with siblings, you probably know that there are defaulters. More to this includes the disagreements on who’s supposed to do what, especially when unexpected issues arise. That said, how are the grey areas captured in a baby prenup and wouldn’t that bear conflicts between parents?
Hmm…this table u are shaking…. was standing very well before o
What happens when a parent breaches the agreement out of sheer negligence or makes petty excuses each time they do? What if they don’t meet their share of duties or do not follow through with their part? Apart from helping a couple lessen the occurrence of conflicts caused by misaligned expectations, wouldn’t a baby prenup also highlight faults within a couple in terms of accountability, and broken promises causing even deeper conflicts? As you guessed by now this discussion also brought out some of these confusing aspects which were clearly highlighted in the responses.
How do you enforce when one party breaches? Sue your spouse for specific performance? Damages? Co-breach at the expense of the child? File for dissolution? Hate to say it but this may only be practical on paper. And Twitter of course.
That said, we remember that as humans, usually when we plan, we do so to avoid failure. Even though life doesn’t come with a textbook, some theories, like in pre-nuptials – which inspires a baby prenup – have proven to work. Nonetheless, this doesn’t refute the question, of whether a baby prenup would work in an African home.
Considering the culture, social conditioning and preconceived notions Africans have about gender roles, especially house chores, is a baby prenup a blessing in disguise or a ticking time bomb waiting to explode?
I am a writer with interest in hair, beauty and fashion. I also like telling stories, but most of all I enjoy listening and reading them. If I'm not doing any of the above, I will be trying to crack a game of chess or monopoly. My biggest fear is being ordinary.