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Black couple having face time. Image from  https://buff.ly/2UonwY2

Black couple having face time. Image from https://buff.ly/2UonwY2

5 Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Really Isn’t Working

Rayhab Gachango by Rayhab Gachango
January 31, 2019
in Relationships
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Long-distance relationships often arise out of necessity. Most people don’t choose to live hundreds or thousands of miles away from a loved one, but if you’re posted overseas or you fall in love with someone in another country, it becomes the new normal.

Make no mistake: long-distance relationships are difficult. It won’t be easy to make it work. You both have to be committed to keeping the spark alive. Unfortunately, however, many long-distance relationships are doomed to fail. If you are feeling the strain, here are five signs your long-distance relationship is not working anymore.

You’d Rather Watch Netflix than Video Chat with Your BAE

Netflix and chill nights are the best, especially after a long day. If your BAE was here, you could snuggle up on the sofa and binge-watch Suits together, but they are a thousand miles away and you’re all alone. If things are going great, you can tune in and watch Netflix together, albeit in different locations. Or you can catch up on Facetime later and indulge in some hot and heavy role play action.

But if you would rather watch House of Cards in peace than chat to your significant other on Facetime, it’s a telling sign that you have already checked out of this relationship.

The Barista In Your Favourite Coffee Shop Is Way Too Tempting

People in committed relationships don’t have time for anyone else. They only have eyes for their beloved. When the love is fading fast, we become far more open to romance (or hot flings) with other people. That cute barista or hot accountant in the next building is no longer just a fleeting fantasy. When they check you out, you are already planning what to wear on your first date.

Seriously?! If you are contemplating dating – or more – someone else, and this isn’t just an idle daydream, you need consider changing the status of your relationship to single because, in your head, you’re already there.

When Anyone Asks, You Say You’re Single

Couples are usually happy to declare their coupledom to the whole world. They want all the sad singles to know they are now taken, off the shelf, coupled up, and happily in love. Declaring you are single when asked is a sure-fire sign this relationship isn’t working for you anymore. Just because your beloved is far, far away, it doesn’t mean you can pretend they don’t exist when it suits. That’s not fair on them.

Be honest. If you are single in your head, you may as well be single in real life. Break the news, break it off, and move on. You both deserve better.

You Use Tinder Most Days

Tinder is the most popular dating app. We love Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel, but Tinder comes out on top every time. Whether you are using Tinder to check out the local talent or find a hook-up, if you have a Tinder account and you are logging in most days, your commitment to a long-distance relationship is woefully low.

Just because your beloved has no clue you are surfing on Tinder, it doesn’t mean s/he deserves to be treated in such a cavalier fashion. Be kind and put them out of their misery. It’s for the best.

You Had Sex Last night but You Haven’t Seen Your Significant Other for Three Months

Oops. Well…enough said really. Unless you have mutually agreed to sleep with other people while apart – and are upfront and honest about it – there is no way to justify getting down and dirty with someone else. Time to move on!

If you are struggling to cope with the realities of a long-distance relationship, be honest with your partner. And if you can’t resolve these issues, it might be sensible to part ways before either of you causes too much damage.

If  you are not having any of the above issues and you are in a long distance relationship, here are tips on How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Signs Its Time For A Relationship Break And The Do’s And Don’ts

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Rayhab Gachango

Rayhab Gachango

Potentash Founder. A creative writer. The Managing Editor at Potentash. Passionate about telling African stories and stories about the inclusion of minorities. Find me at hi@potentash.com. “We're all stories, in the end.” ― Steven Moffat

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