No two ways about it ladies! If you are dating a man now, ask yourself this: is this leading to the altar or to the bank? If it’s not, start moving to better things. Forget fun times, good sex or good company. That wears off so fast, you will hate yourself later.
A man should add value to you. Not subtract. I know you are asking this: should a woman add value to a man? This is what I believe, a man who can add value to a woman never hooks up with a woman who adds no value to his life.
Not all relationships will lead to the altar. That, I agree but do you realize that many of these relationships are the ones that last almost seven years? When you take stock after a 7-year relationship you may be in debt, having a baby or two or have to move back to your parents’ house, sad and bitter. You have given your best years to someone who did not take you to the altar or to the bank.
Maybe women will feel better when taking stock after seven years and discover that in those years, they opened a business, they increased their stock, they finished a degree or got connected to a business contact through this man. Maybe then will they not feel bitter and sad when the man leaves.
It’s high time women learnt how to get the best out of the relationships they are in. What value are you getting out of the relationship?
If you are keen on getting married, weed out the fun times’ guys. The irresponsible guys who want to party the whole night and discuss hangovers for the first hour of the date. Turn down dates that you are sure will not take you anywhere near your goal. Do your part to attract a good gentleman to settle down with. I am not sure how this is done as this column is written by a single woman.
It does not also mean that you cannot have both. The Altar and the Bank. Some women have both. A good man to marry who has taken them to the bank! How about that!
As for a man to take you to the bank, I don’t mean the ‘ni buyie battalion’. Nope. If you thought a man taking you to the bank is you asking him for money, this is the wrong article for you. A man taking you to the bank will do this in the following ways. He will help you advance your education. That is priceless. If you met him with a Diploma, do you have a degree now? If you are in business, has he connected you to a serious business contact to give you business or expand your business? Has he helped fund an LPO that you just got? If he found you driving a Vitz, do you now drive a bigger car? Has he helped you get a better job than the one he found you with? A man should advance you. Since you met him, have you moved from point A to point B? If you are still in the same position or you have moved backwards, time to rethink life.
Whether you agree with me or not, you will discover that if you are with a man who is doing none of the above, he is wasting your good years. You can give all manner of excuses but at the end of the day, only two things will matter. Altar or the Bank.
‘A relationship should lead to the altar or to the bank… if it only leads you to bed or to the kitchen, say no to slavery’.
The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Potentash.com.