You have perhaps spent a better part of your life with someone that you loved and now it’s all over. After some time you may get lonely and decide to date. It is good to take your time and not rush into anything just because you are ready to be with somebody. The fact is you are vulnerable and although you may want to replace that person with a better version doesn’t mean you should just jump into it. How long you take before you date is entirely up to you. Recently one of my close relatives who got back in the game allowed me to share her thoughts and what she did after her divorce.
1. Do not rush: Divorce takes a lot of time and energy from someone. The life changing process can be an emotional strain. This is the time you need to take to be by yourself, learn to enjoy your own company and to love yourself anew. Before waiting for someone’s love, remember you need to rejuvenate and be your own person. During this time go on a road trip with your friends or do simple things that used to make you happy. Indulge in your hobbies and send out love to your kids if you have any because the chance that they saw you in a lot of misery during the divorce is high. Work on your relationship with them and let them be close to you again.
2. Stay positive: When you do start dating avoid talking about your exes flaws to your date. Bashing your ex makes you look pretty and bitterness. It’s even more important to keep positive when you have children with your ex.
3. Do not be obsessed: It’s easy to get excited when you start dating and you may take it too seriously believing it could end up as a relationship. Do not rush, enjoy the dating process. Your new relationship should not be rushed towards marriage or living together. Take baby steps and have fun.
4. Do not neglect your children: If you have kids it is very easy to neglect your children when you finally start dating. You have this new love in your life that you would like to be with all the time. Make sure you still send time with your kids or have time for your other responsibilities. You may want to be out more and come back late though this should be postponed to holidays when there are less responsibilities.
Getting back into the dating world especially after a hurtful divorce will most likely be hard. Take time to rediscover yourself and work on boosting your self-esteem. The dating scene has changed so there is a lot to learn. It is also an adjustment for the people around you to get used to you dating again. Let your closest friends and family help you through this time. Let them meet your date/s and get to know them. It might not be an easy thing to date after a divorce but if you decide that you are ready for the leap into a relationship then we hope this tips will help. If it gets serious here are tips to consider if you are going to get married – Step-Families: 6 important things to consider when blending a family. Do you have any tips about dating after a divorce? You can give us your tips in our comments section.
Vanessa Raychael is a young writer passionate about writing. She is a student at Daystar University. She has written for the People newspaper as a fiction writer and she also hosts a show in a gospel station known as Vision TV. During her spare time, she likes nature trails, spending time with friends and going for events. You can check out her work on her blog nochills.blogspot.com