This guy who’s flirting with me asks me whether I have self-esteem issues because I want to lose weight. A girl he knows told him that she doesn’t get hit on because she is big. I was like dude chill. I have never had a problem getting dates because I am big. Actually, I get hit on quite a lot because of them hips and thighs. It has never been a problem for me. And anyway I don’t define who I am because of a guy hitting on me or not.
Luckily for me, I have always been surrounded by guys who appreciate plus-size women, especially my Luhya friends. It’s no wonder that some of the guys I have dated, the heartbreaker ex included have been Luhya. In fact, I used to be told to check my bloodline kuna vile I could have a Luhya dad. But if you see my dad’s family you will see where the hips and thighs come from. They have mamas who have bebad mpaka za jirani.
In high school, some teenage girls used to make fun of every girl who was over a size 12. I never minded. I liked who I was. I didn’t like outgrowing my uniform in Form 3 but I loved who I was. I think for me the image issues I had as a teenager were because my mum was slim and had long hair and I was the opposite. That bothered me somewhat.
Contrary to many big women I love being big. I love my hips and thighs. The only thing I constantly battle with is having a tummy or pot as we would call it. I hate having a tummy. It is the bane of my existence. I am always trying to lose it but it is so hard especially because I love food. Food is my drug and my crutch. I usually say that if I just look at food I get fat and that exaggeration is not far off the mark.
I have always believed you are as sexy as you believe you are. You can be thin and think you’re not sexy. You can be fat and believe you are all that. It’s all about your confidence. Your confidence is what attracts a man to you. It shows in what you believe in yourself. So if you believe that it’s because your big that’s why you can’t attract a man you will work hard to lose it but you may never get that man you are looking for. It is important to have a healthy weight and not be too thin or fat. But about being sexy it’s all about you and your self-esteem.
So if you believe in yourself you become sexy because you have no hangups about how you look.
A couple of years back a friend Juliet Maruru sent me this song as an MP3. I loved it and still have it. It’s one song I love to listen to occasionally. It is called Big Girls you are beautiful by Mika. Have a listen Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) and enjoy.
