Christopher
Christopher took a deep breath, fortifying himself, then walked into the living room where Emily lay sprawled out on the couch. He spread the duvet he was carrying over her, then slid in on the opposite side of the couch so they were feet to head. She didn’t look at him, eyes glued to the rom-com on the screen, face softened by emotion as the couple made up, declaring undying love to each other. His heart lurched almost painfully in his chest and he found he couldn’t look away from her either, transfixed by her beauty and the continual realization that he loved, was irredeemably in love with her. He slid his hands under the covers, needing to touch her.
The credits started going up. She reached for the remote and started scrolling, looking for another feel-good rom-com.
“So, I was thinking, why don’t you come with me for Christmas?” He asked, affecting a level of nonchalance he did not feel.
He watched her face scrunch up out of the corner of his eye as she doubtless thought of a way to let him down easily.
“It’s supposed to be family time, you do not need a random person there ruining things.”
“First of all, you have never ruined any gathering you have been a part of, ever. You are a delight, a ray of fucking sunshine, a delight to match all delights…” He said with utmost seriousness.
She was already laughing before he trailed off, her face eyes crinkling delightfully, her laugh deep and full like she did not have a care in the world. It was exactly what he’d been going for. He’d missed her laugh.
“Come on, baby. I don’t want to spend Christmas away from you. I want to be together. How about this? You stay just for lunch and dinner, then you ditch and I stay the night alone.”
Emily was silent, doubtless thinking of another way to let him down.
What he wanted to say was, I don’t want you alone when the anniversary of your best friend’s death is approaching. I don’t want you to withdraw into yourself like you do. I’m afraid you’ll one day go so far that I won’t be able to pull you out.
“You make it sound like you’ll be in the wilderness trying to survive when you’ll be on the lap of luxury, being coddled to within an inch of your life by your mother.”
“It’s all wilderness when you’re not there.” He said with all seriousness.
“Jesus Christ, enough. I’ll come.” She said, clicking on a new movie. “Now let me watch my movie in peace.”
“If this is how you respond to compliments, I’ve really been botching shit up. You’re fucking amazing, you know this, right? Sometimes I look at you and I feel so happy, so lucky to know you, it hurts. Like physically hurts and…”
She turned to face him, her eyes soft. “Okay, alright. I believe you, I receive it. Can I watch my show?”
“Okay.” He said, putting all the love he felt in his smile as he hugged her legs.
Three weeks later
Emily
Emily rubbed her palms on her jeans for the third time in as many minutes. She regretted agreeing to come, regretted it so much it was a weight sitting heavily in her chest. She’d met his family a handful of times before, so she didn’t understand why she was so nervous. Ugh, maybe it was the fact that this was a whole-day affair. That was too long to spend in the company of a date’s parents.
They were on the way now, too late to pull out. Plus, he’d been so happy. She rolled her eyes at the memory of his excitement at her agreement. He was such a goofball. Often in public, he was proper Dr. Christopher, the dentist and successful firstborn. She liked that she got to see the silly, playful, earnest Chris in private.
The car came to a stop, pulling her out of her reverie. They stood parked outside his parents’ house. The churning started in her stomach again. Great.
“You good?” Chris asked, a small smile trying and failing to hide his concern.
“Yeah. Are you good?” She asked, turning the question pointedly at him.
He laughed, then reached for her hands, kissing each gently, all mirth gone from him. “Whenever I’m with you, I’m good.”
Emily rolled her eyes even as warmth suffused her chest. He was taking this complimenting her thing seriously. She opened the door and stepped out.
Five minutes later, after greetings and hugs, the churning in her belly had slightly reduced. His brother, Caleb and sister, Cynthia had not brought dates. She had told him to keep it a family affair, now here she was all out of place, feeling like an intruder everyone was too polite to chase away. The only thing that decreased her unease was the presence of two of his cousins. They were all making such a ruckus she was able to slide under the radar.
His mother handed her and Chris aprons accompanied by strict instructions to wash their hands and join the rest of the makeshift kitchen staff engaged in cutting dicing and grating a variety of vegetables. Who had this many aprons?
They washed their hands and took their places around the counter. His mother handed him three defrosted chickens with instructions to slice them accordingly. Because she was a guest, she was on fruit-slicing duty for the fruit juice. Yay! Easy, impossible to botch. Caleb and one of the cousins were weeping over a small mountain of onions. The other cousin was grinding garlic and ginger.
Then his mother was cooking, and delicious scents suffused the kitchen. Chris had not been bragging when he called his mother the best cook. Her stomach growled. She had skipped breakfast because of nerves. She let herself drift in and out of the conversation, contributing, laughing then pulling out and helping with any new tasks around the counter.
Shortly they were spread all around the living room eating and talking, Chris seated next to her, his knee touching hers. She relaxed, all that worry had been for nothing.
Christopher
Their little crew moved to the kitchen to take care of the dishes, the brothers soaping, the cousins rinsing and Emily and Cynthia bringing the rousing conversation. The men were almost done when Chris’ mother walked into the kitchen. She called to him, indicating he followed her.
“You set this up to escape clean-up,” Caleb accused as Chris walked out laughing.
Chris followed his mother as she walked out of the house altogether. She clearly didn’t want to risk them being heard. His curiosity piqued, and he closed the gate, rushing to catch up to her.
“So, how are things going with you?” She asked, even though it was clear that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about.
“I’m good. Everything is fine.” He answered, reigning in his tension-fueled frustration.
“How is work?”
“It’s good. Everything’s going well.” He hated this tension, his mind was going to all kinds of extremes landing on worries about her health. His heart was thundering in his chest. He was going to scream if she didn’t tell him what was up in the next three seconds.
“How serious are things with you and Emily?”
“They’re serious. We’re serious. Why?”
“Do you know she is a divorcee?”
Divorcee sounded like a slur in her mouth.
“Yes. I know. So what?” He asked defensively.
She stopped walking, turning to look up at him. “You cannot be serious. You are not going to marry a divorced woman.”
“Why not? What’s the issue here?” He asked, rubbing his temple.
“Do you know she got an abortion when her husband was burying his mother? He begged her to keep the baby, and she didn’t care. She just killed it.”
“How do you even know that?” He certainly did not know any of that.
“I know his family.” She answered with finality.
“Well then, you have to know they can’t be the most trusted source of information. They’re divorced, no way he or any of his family members are saying good things about her.”
“Just because they’re not saying good things doesn’t mean they’re saying lies. It’s true Christopher. She had an abortion while he was burying his mother, even after he begged her not to. That kind of selfishness makes a terrible partner. If she left one marriage, you know she will leave the next one too. That is a sign that she is not a committed person. I don’t want that for you.”
“Marriages end all the time, Mom. It’s just life.”
“She is all fun and beautiful, but she’s not wife material. That is the kind of woman who will frustrate you. I know women like her.”
“Stop, Mom. You don’t know her. She’s generous and kind and cares about other people. She’s the furthest thing from selfish.”
“People pretend all the time.”
“She’s not pretending. Mom, please stop.”
“I forbid it.”
His eyes popped open. He had never heard his mother say anything even remotely close to that.
“I don’t approve, and if you keep seeing her, I will not support you.”
“Because she’s divorced, and she allegedly had an abortion? That makes no sense.”
“You may be a doctor and have all that money, but you don’t know everything. I know things you don’t know. I know you don’t respect my views, but you’re wrong. You cannot marry a woman who casually has abortions and announces to anyone who will listen that she does not want children.”
His heart fell. What was happening? They moved to the side of the road to let a car through.
His hand covered his mouth, his mind trying to find words to change her mind and failing. Every angle he thought of, he could see her demolish.
She started walking back to the house, and he followed after her, silent.
Tea was ready and the table set. He served a slice of cake mechanically and sat next to Emily. He continued to participate in the ribbing and storytelling about their childhood. Then everyone was saying goodbye, and he felt like he could breathe again. He just needed to drop Emily off at her place, then he could go figure this out at his place.
Emily
“Keys,” Emily said, hand stretched out when they got to the car.
He handed them to her after a beat, clearly reconsidering the protest ready to spill out.
She slid into the driver’s seat and drove them to his place in silence, although she wanted to make him tell her what was going on immediately.
“What’s going on?” She asked as soon as they walked into the house.
“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” he implored.
“No,” Emily said. “I’m sorry, I just can’t sleep like this. What’s going on?”
“My mom heard some stuff.” He said, lowering himself slowly to the couch like he had no energy left.
“I’m guessing stuff about me. Is it the divorce? I told you it would be an issue. Parents hate that.” She sighed, taking a sit across the room, facing him. “I told you to tell her. It’s always worse when they hear it from a third party.”
“Did you get an abortion after Andy’s mum died?”
Emily narrowed her eyes.
“I knew it wasn’t true…” Chris started, shaking his head.
“It is true.” She interrupted, a surge of anger flowing through her, forcing her to stand.
Chris’ lips flapped open and shut, no words coming out.
“What else did she say?”
“That he begged you to keep it and you…” He trailed off.
“That’s also true, so what?” Emily asked, stepping closer to him, anger and judgment dripping from every word.
He stood up, facing her. “You’re telling me, you got pregnant and your husband, who was grieving his dead mother, begged you to keep the baby and instead you had an abortion?”
“Yeah,” she threw back casually.
He shook his head, mute.
“How many times have we talked about it? I told you I don’t want kids. You don’t think he knew? What was I supposed to do, have children with him because his mom had just died? A child is not a band-aid or a replacement for a dead mother. What are we doing here? I cannot believe you’re judging me for this.”
She turned towards the door, and for a second, panic gripped him at the thought that she was leaving. He scrambled, blocking her path.
“I’m not judging you.” He protested.
Emily sighed, refuting his protests.
“I’m not. I guess I’m just shocked. That’s it.”
“What’s shocking?” she asked with all the seriousness. “We have talked about abortion a million times before, last I checked you were a big proponent.“
“I guess, I just… It’s shocking that his mom had just died, and he begged and you…”
“I said no because that’s not a good reason to have a child. Also, his mother had just died, and he was not in his right mind. He did not want children, we agreed on that going in. The fact that I’m now the bad guy, that part is what’s shocking to me.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry…for jumping to conclusions. Please don’t go.”
“What else did your mom say?” Emily asked.
Chris ran his hand through his cut hair. “She doesn’t approve of the whole thing because you know… But I’ll talk to her. I’ll iron things out.”
“These are the kinds of things you can’t iron out.”
“Don’t say that,” He begged. “Please stay. Can we just sleep and deal with this tomorrow?”
Emily shook her head still, refusing to meet his eyes, her lip trembling.
He bracketed her face in his hand and looked into her eyes, she registered the wetness in his. “I love you. I’m not letting you go, certainly not over this. Can we please just go to sleep and face all this tomorrow? We don’t have to figure it all out tonight, and I just want to spend the rest of Christmas holding you, not fighting. I love you, you love me, that’s enough.”
“Okay,” Emily said. She just wanted to lie in his arms and leave tomorrow’s problems to the morrow which would come soon enough.
He kissed her gently, then took her hand and walked to the bedroom. The way he held her hand, tight and gentle, sparked the dying embers of hope in his heart. She threw a leg over his, her favourite cuddling position and luxuriated in the feel of his arms around her. She closed here eyes and allowed hope to rise.
~The End~
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