When Susan married John, she didn’t anticipate these were the kind of problems they’d have. People fought over infidelity and related issues. She didn’t imagine her hardworking nature would be a ‘problem’ that she needed to ‘fix’ — or at least that’s what John told her.
“This job has made you forget that I am your husband and you need to respect me,” John often told her.
“How did I disrespect you, John?” Susan asked him.
“Which wife comes home after the husband and makes him wait for her to cook?” John asked her.
“I was closing up the shop. There were many last-minute customers,” Susan defended herself.
“Learn proper time management. You can’t neglect your wifely duties because you are running someone’s business,” John told her.
She wanted to tell him, “My job brings in more money than your job. My job feeds you and your children. It has helped us move the children to a boarding school and upgrade items in the house,” but instead, she nodded her head and went to the kitchen. Susan had had this fight so many times before that she knew there was no reasoning with John.
Susan was fortunate to work for a lady who believed in her ideas. Many people thought the shop belonged to Susan because the owner was hardly there. Susan had met the lady earlier when she was barely out of her teenage years. She came from a poor background, so she had to work as a house help because her parents couldn’t afford to further her studies past secondary school.
Susan was diligent, which endeared her to her employer. She expressed her wish to venture into business in the future. When Susan met and got married to John, she left her employer. The employer, an older and wiser lady, warned her about quitting her job, but she was in love. After she got pregnant, it became clear that John’s salary wouldn’t be enough to raise a child.
After getting her first child, she decided to look for a job. It was challenging to find help with the child. She relied on John’s relatives, who often reminded her they were doing her favour. Her jobs didn’t pay much but were better than staying home.
During the same period, her former employer got a contract to set up a shop in a school institution. She needed someone she could trust, and when she learned of Susan’s situation, she offered her the job. Their working relationship was great, and the shop revenues grew year after year. Susan even got a second child.
Everything seemed to be going right except for her marriage. John changed when she started making more money than she did. When she was struggling, he even stood up for her when his relatives attacked her, but after she started doing better, he joined his sisters and mother in making her life uncomfortable.
They increased their products at the shop, so it became the most popular shop around the school. Susan even needed an assistant so that they could serve their customers faster. It also meant that she would get home late. The situation became untenable since her children were in grades seven and five, so she opted to take them to boarding school. John didn’t object to the move once she said she would handle the cost.
The business grew so much that the shop owner discussed opening a second shop near the first one. She asked Susan to come in as a partner because she ran the first shop well. Despite having issues with John, she told him about the proposal. All hell broke loose.
“You want to prove to the world that I don’t provide for you and spend more time outside the house?” John asked.
“It’s a good opportunity and we would have more money as a family,” Susan argued.
“You think I don’t see how money has changed you? You lack respect for me as the head of the home,” said John.
“How have I disrespected you?” Susan asked John.
“You make decisions and go telling everyone about the things you buy. You even decided to take the kids to boarding school,” John replied.
“I thought you were okay with the children going to boarding school?” Susan asked in shock.
They argued over the matter for a while. John then went to his family and accused Susan of disrespect. His mother and sisters insulted Susan. She had to leave their home for a few days for the tension to die down. The assistant Susan hired was a relative of John, so during that period that Susan wasn’t home, she reported the family gossip.
John’s sisters hatched a plan to have Susan from the shop. They went to her employer and accused her of using substandard material in some cakes they baked and sold at the shop. They also lied that she was mistreating the assistant, their relative. “She’s going to ruin your business,” they told Susan’s employer.
When Susan’s employer called her to discuss the matter, she also invited Susan’s accusers and her husband. Susan walked into the meeting and realized that John and his family wouldn’t let her work in peace. After all, it was John’s hometown, so she was an outsider.
“What do you want me to do?” Susan asked them.
“Quit the job,” said John’s mother.
Susan looked at John, who looked like he agreed with his mother. She decided to quit the job. Later, her employer tried speaking to her, but Susan thanked her for the opportunity and left. She returned home, thinking that John would act better now that she had quit that job.
When Susan took the children to boarding school, John stopped paying school fees, but now that he had asked her to quit her job, the responsibility fell on John. He couldn’t raise the money the following term, so the children were sent home. He became defensive when Susan asked about it. At some point, he suggested that the children return to the public school they had attended before moving schools.
Susan had thought quitting her job would show John that it was a blessing to their family, so he’d be more supportive of her work, but John still treated her poorly, and they were struggling financially. When John suggested moving the kids from the school, Susan resolved to get another job. John strongly opposed the idea and gave her an ultimatum. He made her choose between her marriage and employment. Susan chose the latter and made payment arrangements with her children’s school so they could resume her studies.
She moved out of her matrimonial home to a nearby town and found another job. It wasn’t as lucrative as the previous one, but she was working towards topping up her savings to set up her own business. Moving also helped her escape her husband and his family, but she didn’t move too far so her children could access both parents. She accepted that John’s ego was too fragile and there was no reasoning with him. He couldn’t stand Susan making more money than him.
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