How exciting! You’ve found the person you want to partner in life with. The pressure to craft an incomparable proposal that will knock your partner off their feet. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind and common mistakes to avoid when proposing.
Trying too hard to be unique
Often people obsess over originality. Everyone tries to come up with a completely unique idea which is near impossible when you consider people have been having engagements for centuries now. You’re unlikely to come up with something that hasn’t been done before. The good news is it’s not originality that shows your partner how much you love them or how committed you are. Focus instead on what will speak to your partner, what will move them, what will communicate your deeply held feelings.
Going too big
Social media is guilty of making proposals huge, complex extravaganzas with private planes on private islands with private chefs while clad in the trendiest designer threads. You don’t need all that. There’s no shame in keeping it small and simple. Small and simple can be just as romantic as a huge production. All you need is for it to resonate with your partner, not impress the faceless people online. It’s
Not planning in advance
Marriage is a huge decision that should not be made on a whim. The same applies to proposing which is a significant moment for many couples. Spontaneity has its place but if you’re trying to impress your significant other and create this long-lasting memory, you’ll need to plan something. Don’t fall into the trap of overthinking it but try and make sure you’ve decided a few things in advance including the time and location, how you’ll get them there, what you’ll say, and how you’ll document the occasion (for example, will you hire a photographer or have a friend do it?).
Proposing without a ring
Proposing without a ring may look cute in movies, but in real life, however, it makes you look unserious and unprepared. All it tells your partner is you didn’t put much thought or effort into it and likely view them in much the same way. Pay attention to the types of rings they have and like, maybe even enlist the help of a close friend or relative who knows her style to help you pick out a ring she’ll love.
It’s not just about you
Like in other things about relationships, you have to think about the other person not just you. For example, hiking to the top of a hill to propose may sound like a great idea to you but your partner may not be stoked about having pictures taken after a sweaty hike. You also don’t have to do it all alone. You don’t have to be the hero of your engagement story.
Depending on your plan, you can enlist the help of a close friend or two to whom you trust to keep things quiet. You can also work with them to create your partner’s dream proposal. Find out from your partner or their friend what they’d like and work on making that happen. You don’t want to throw a big public proposal for someone who’d prefer something intimate.
Also, don’t propose on an occasion that’s important to them or to somebody close to them such as their birthday or graduation or somebody’s wedding or engagement party. The last thing you want is to hijack their event and make it about you.
- Make sure your partner is on the same page, don’t propose if you’ve never talked about marriage before and agreed that you would like to be married one day to each other.
- Practice what you’ll say especially if you’re the nervous type.
- Practice kneeling and opening the ring box the right way up.
- Keep it quiet to avoid ruining the surprise.
- Plan what you’ll wear.
- Hide the ring box well especially if you live together.
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