Too many people in relationships learn the hard way that just because someone is an appropriate age doesn’t mean they are mature. Differences in maturity level can wreak havoc on relationships. If you have a sneaking suspicion that the person you’re dating is immature, read on to find out if there’s something to your fears.
Signs you are dating an immature person
Inability to accept when they’re wrong: relationships require accountability to thrive. That means accepting when you’re wrong. An inability to do this indicates serious immaturity.
Being unaware of how their actions have consequences: immature people think simply about their wants and needs with zero consideration about the impact that will have on others. All they think about and care about is themselves.
Zero emotional regulation: an immature person has no self-control and zero emotional regulation, for example, they can lose their temper at the slightest provocation or be prone to tantrums.
Incapable of accepting other people’s opinions: everything is all about them to the extent that they can’t accept or even understand where other people with different opinions may be coming from.
Poor communication skills: an immature person speaks a lot but doesn’t listen. They tune you out or don’t actively listen while you speak. They also don’t know how to communicate, kindly, honestly and effectively.
Arguments lead to personal attacks: disagreements are normal song people, the problem with immature people is they resort to name calling and other personal attacks when you disagree.
Irresponsible spending habits: this is one of the most common signs of immaturity in adults, irresponsibility when it comes to what you spend money on. Immature people just spend and spend based largely on feelings, not thoughtful planning.
Engage in many self-centred activities like always being on their phone even when they’re with company, for example, always being on the phone even when you’re hanging out just the two of you. This is just another way their selfishness manifests.
Clingy and desperate for attention: immature people demand all of their partner’s attention and act like the world revolves around them
Live by an eye for an eye: an immature person will make sure they hurt you back when you hurt them. Alternatively, they will make sure you continue to feel horrible after a mistake even after you apologize. They just don’t let things go.
Other signs of an immature partner include the:
- Have immature friends
- Can’t hold down a job
- Don’t or won’t help around the house
- Have never had a mature relationship in the past
- Lack boundaries with their parents and have a dysfunctional enmeshed relationship
What to do if you’re dating an immature person
Observe your behaviour: evaluate your actions, are you enabling their immature behaviour? If you are, take steps to change your behaviour.
Set and enforce boundaries: you can’t change your partner’s behaviour, the best you can do is support them as they change. If they are not willing to do the work and the relationship is not healthy or your needs are not being met, you should be ready to walk away.
Seek help: your partner could benefit from working with a counsellor and so could you, if that feels like something you’re willing to explore.
Check out
Relationships: The Reasons Why You Try To Change Your Partner And What You Should Do Instead
Relationships: Signs Your Partner Is Overly Or Unfairly Critical Of You
