In many cultures, guests take a gift with them for the host. It’s an unspoken rule when it comes to guest etiquette. A host is required to provide food, drink, and entertainment for a houseguest, and even make concessions to accommodate one who may have specialised preferences. As a token of appreciation, guests carry with them something that is meaningful or useful for their hosts.
Gifting is a great way to spread kindness and positivity. Some people may feel underappreciated if they don’t receive gifts while others don’t care about them. However, people are always happy to receive gifts. Gifting also creates a culture of generosity where every visit becomes an act of thoughtfulness.
What to consider when gifting a host
Timing
Since customs are different based on people’s upbringings, it’s not clear exactly when you’re supposed to give your gifts. A guest can present them as soon as they arrive, in the middle of the visit, as they leave, or deliver later.
When visiting a family with children, if a guest has brought anything for the kids, it’s important to ask the parents first before handing the gifts over. This is because if it’s snacks, the kids may insist on eating immediately which can ruin their appetites for the upcoming meal. Buying toys is a good thing for children. However, they can cause a distraction and can be damaged too quickly.
Contributions
A guest can also bring products that the host can use to cook meals. Usually, this is best when the guest arrives earlier than when food preparation is supposed to begin. This way they can contribute to the meal. This may require input from the host. However, buying basic groceries can be great if you don’t want to trouble your host by asking for a shopping list. Universal groceries such as flour, sugar, milk, or bread can work as a thoughtful gift.
Event
The type of visit you’re having can also determine the gift to give. If you’re going to meet a new family member, such as a new partner, you can bring flowers. Events like dinner parties are a great time to bring a bottle of wine or the host’s preferred drink.
Other gifts that can be brought to an intimate couples’ dinner include scented candles or aromatherapy. If it’s a family get-together, groceries and toys for children work. When visiting a close friend, a guest can ask them what they need. When going for a housewarming, or visiting a loved one’s new house for the first time, you can take a plant, décor items, or coffee table books.
The best gifts for a holiday party depend on the celebration. If you’re attending a Christmas celebration, you can give holiday-appropriate ornaments. Themed gift baskets are also great. Gift companies also provide flowers, chocolates, and other snacks for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day. A package of an assortment of coffee or tea packets, or cookies can also make a great gift. You can also rarely go wrong with carrying a cake.
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Overnight stay
If you’re staying overnight with your host, you can bring a gift that shows gratitude for the hosting and being accommodated for the night. While usual gifts still count, you can get them a unique gift relevant to the overnighter. This includes spa items, bath robes, or homemade treats.
What to avoid when getting a gift for the host
If you forget to bring a gift, some hosts are willing to accept cash. However, some people feel uncomfortable accepting cash from a guest. This is because an invitation isn’t a meal or room charge. This depends entirely on your host. Others would prefer the oversight never be mentioned while others would appreciate a gift delivered later.
It’s difficult to navigate gifting etiquette, especially when asking what your host wants, and it can be awkward if you don’t have an intimate relationship. If you don’t know what to buy the host because it’s your first time at the house, you can attend the event and then send a gift after. You also don’t want to commit a faux pas where you bring a bottle of wine to someone who is teetotal. Sending flowers, gift cards, shopping vouchers, movie tickets, or a potted plant a few days later to the host’s home can still be a thoughtful way to show appreciation.
Sometimes you may buy something a host already has, doesn’t need, or can’t use. It may be important to leave the purchase receipt in the items so that they can take the item back for an exchange. However, this can be considered a sign of showing off and can be taken poorly. To avoid any difficulties, carry the receipts with you. When giving the gifts, you can ask your host if there is anything they are allergic to or already own and offer the receipts for an exchange or refund if they confirm it.
Ensure the gifts are new and not used items. Try to confirm if the gifts are something your host would appreciate. You’ll have to reach out to your host and ask for their preferences if you’re completely at a loss.
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