![When a mother walks away from her family [iStock]](https://potentash.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Mother.png)
My oldest daughter brought another man home last weekend for introduction and my husband has been livid. He was barely kind to the gentleman and my daughter got the scolding of a lifetime when she tried to express her worries to him.
“Victoria what makes you think I have the time to entertain all the men you bring home?” He asked, placing the Saturday Nation aside. He’s been particularly invested in the Sudan war because he refers to himself as a Pan-African. If he would, he’d be a journalist, but he’s probably too old for that now.
“He’s the only one I’ve brought home in years baba!” she responded.
“Victoria, focus on building a career and being financially independent. It’s all a modern woman needs right now. A husband is not a mark of honour, not in this household. I’ve always made that clear.” He added, taking off his spectacles.
“But I want a husband. I want to raise Liam in a loving home, so he can have a man to look up to.”
“First off, Liam has a father. Secondly, what makes you think that this one will be different?” He asked, sarcasm loud in his tone.
“He’s a better man. I assure you of that baba,” my daughter pleaded.
“Not when he found you the same way your previous husband did. They just bring the worst out of you!” Victoria burst into tears and he put the spectacles back on, carried the newspaper and walked out. He was off to the local bar to watch soccer and catch up with his friends. His routine has been pretty predictable since he retired.
Victoria had been lying to her father for years that she was in law school, and even faked her graduation at the university to impress us. But when her admission to the bar was delayed by four years, my husband realized that something must have gone wrong somewhere so he took the personal initiative to look into the matter.
Victoria had decried the sexual advances made to her by professors in order to turn in her results. I remember my husband being so enraged when the Sex for Grades story came out because he felt like our daughter was a victim and someone needed to put an end to it.
His intervention came to an abrupt end when Victoria brought home a young man from a good family that declared his interest to marry our daughter. They met at a soccer derby, the popular Mashemeji derby between AFC Leopards and Gor Mahia. My husband was proud of her, that besides a future in a promising law career, she’d met a good man to keep her company. His family offered a handsome amount of dowry for my daughter, and we celebrated with pomp and colour, during her traditional wedding.
They went on to have Liam, the icing on the cake, but my boastful husband really wanted her to be admitted to the bar, to give him something to be proud of. During many of those interactions with our son-in-law, the secret unravelled itself like a Christmas gift and I remember how his eyes reddened when he summoned our daughter at home that day.
“Victoria, did you ever, step foot at the Kenya School of Law?” He asked as he carefully folded his newspaper into two and placed it on top of the table.
“Why dad?” She asked, fear written all over her face.
“You don’t answer me with another question, young lady. Don’t disrespect me like that!” he thundered.
“Yes! Yes, Dad… It’s where I met my husband, Liam’s father,” she answered with a shaky voice.
“So where exactly did you meet him? In law school or at the tournament?” He probed.
“Well, I went to the tournament after school,” her eyes were blinking, knowing my daughter’s mannerisms, it was obvious, she was lying.
A frantic call from my brother-in-law saved my daughter from what would have been the worst father-daughter experience of her lifetime. Unfortunately, we had learnt that Victoria never really graduated from university, because she quit school in her third year. The expensive party we threw on her graduation day was all a web of lies, carefully woven to lie to us, her parents.
Her lies went a step further, when she fake-enrolled herself into law school, only for her to go around town, partying and meeting her now ex-husband. They spent most of their time, watching soccer, throwing parties and drinking themselves silly. When they got married, Victoria had hoped that her husband would reform, quit drinking and focus on their family. He was about that life, and Victoria was growing impatient with him. He eventually lost his job, so he couldn’t support the lavish lifestyle my daughter was used to and their relationship fizzled out.
Victoria came back home, defeated and ashamed. My caring husband decided to give her another chance and enrol her in school. He’s a believer in second chances. He had been moved when he learnt that Victoria was having panic attacks, struggling with her mental health and our grandson was not in school because of financial constraints.
It was during her second semester while pursuing a nursing course that Victoria followed this new man to Uganda because she thought she’s found love again. While I thought that it was best for my daughter to have a companion, her father was irritated. He can’t seem to understand why Victoria throws away her dreams as soon as she meets a new man.
Victoria is legally separated from her first husband, who by the way, has been trying to get his family back together since getting out of rehab. But my daughter has a special attraction towards glitter, the flashy cars her current suitor owns. This new suitor, has a string of baby mama’s that we are well aware of, another thing that doesn’t augur well with my husband.
Our daughter who is over 30 now, still wants to push through with this new suitor, despite my husband’s concerns. I’m concerned too, because I fear that she will find herself in the dark alone all over again, and maybe this time, my husband will not be willing to give her another chance.
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