Had Cindy known that she would have a taste of her own medicine in the end, she wouldn’t have said yes to dating Ray. She would have just declined the proposal politely and focused on her life. But because she did not know, here she was, heartbroken because she decided to date soon after getting out of a relationship.
As she looked at Ray, she wondered why she had to fall in love with him at such a time. Their meeting had been very simple, devoid of any signs of yielding a love relationship later on. They were both shopping in the mall and after crossing each other severally as they each sought certain items, they greeted each other courtesy of their familiar faces. They then exchanged pleasantries.
Several instances of bumping into each other in the same mall later led to an exchange of contacts, which birthed friendship and later on love. Couldn’t love have waited until everything was set well between the two of them? She kept on asking herself so many questions trying to evade the reality that was staring at her.
The reality at hand was so painful she could not dare to think about it. Ray had accidentally seen a conversation she had with a friend, that brought up this issue. Ray had been minding his business when he decided to check the time on his girl’s phone because his phone was charging. While still checking, a message from Fiona popped up on the screen
So when are you breaking up with him? you said it would be last month.
Wait a minute! Who and what Fiona referring to? This message had sent chills down Ray’s body. His knees grew weaker and he started sweating.
Fiona was her bestie. The bestie of besties, so that whatever Fiona said would be a truth Ray would not ignore. You know there are friends and then there is that very close friend that knows everything. Now Fiona was that very close friend and Ray seeing such a message from her had to be a big deal.
He sat down. He keyed in her password and he was browsing through the phone to get to WhatsApp. He seemed very shaken that instead of going for the shortcut on the notification bar, he was scrolling down the phone through all the apps.
However, in the process of browsing, he realized that he did not need to go into the conversation and check what the two had been talking about. He decided to approach Fiona and get it from the horse’s mouth.
He was very angry. Hardly a week had gone after they came from vacation and everything seemed fine. They had even talked of a future together. Not wholly though, but things seemed right and he felt loved.
For once, Ray had found the woman he had been dreaming of. Cindy ticked all the boxes on his wish list. From personality to looks. Cindy had mentioned a heartbreak she was nursing, but wasn’t that part of what life was?
As he walked into the bedroom where Cindy was dressing, he cleared his throat to say something.
“I just saw something on your phone.”
Cindy looked up. Her eyes looked full of fear. She pushed herself to say something. “What could that be?”
“The time. It’s time to go for a walk. You look shaken, what did you think I had seen?” Ray asked.
“Something weird maybe!” Cindy said with a forced smile.
“Something weird? Like what?”
“Ah! Never mind. I am just being silly. I am getting dressed we go for that walk.”
By this time, Ray had changed his mind. He was not going to ask about what he had seen. He had seen the plan that was underway. It was even overdue and that meant that it was going to happen anytime.
He decided to play dumb and see how the whole thing would play out. Meanwhile, he prepared himself psychologically for what he knew was going to happen. He was unpacking whatever he had put into their union. The love, the future together, and everything that made them an item. He imagined how weird the whole process of asking Cindy about Fiona’s message would seem. Where would he start? Even if he was to start asking and he got the answers he was seeking, to what end?
Was he ready to hear everything Cindy had to say about her plan? Could he handle all that would come out of such an exchange? He knew that he was not ready for such a conversation. Secondly, he thought it best to play along with the whole thing.
As they went for the walk, Cindy opened her phone and saw the message. To say that she was shaking would be an understatement.
She without a doubt, knew that Ray had seen Fiona’s message. There was no notification on the locked screen, yet there was a new message from Fiona that she had not read.
“You saw Fiona’s message!”
Ray kept quiet as they walked down the road. The look on Ray’s face was all Cindy needed to know that he had seen what Fiona had sent.
What Ray did not understand, was Cindy’s reaction to this realization. Wasn’t it a good opportunity to finally get what she wanted? A breakup? Why wouldn’t she just say, it’s so unfortunate you found it this way but that was it for us, Ray wondered. A thought that made him grimace.
They kept on walking. Cindy had not said any other word, and Ray had not responded to her question. They walked in a very weird silence and none of them knew when the silence would come to an end. The silence became too uncomfortable that Cindy decided to break it.
“Ray, can we talk? Please.” Cindy pleaded.
“I am here, all ears,” Ray said.
“First, what you saw from Fiona’s message was not accurate. I am going to tell you what is accurate and where her message came from.”
“Okay, I am listening,” Ray said, wondering what difference whatever she’d said would make. He had already made up his mind about Cindy. Whatever she’d say would just be a by the way.
“Okay. When we met, I told you I was still nursing a heartbreak. That was very true. Your coming into my life was timely. Your love made me forget about the hurt and for a moment, I felt whole. I planned to heal and leave last month, as Fiona’s message indicated.” Cindy’s voice was shaky.
“So you used me as a therapist. You were with me to heal and leave. So I have been a hospital to you?” Ray interrupted.
“Don’t say like that. That’s not how it is right now.”
“But that was how things were in the beginning. Meaning when I was happily in love with you, you were on the other side checking on how much you’ve healed and how much time you had before leaving. How did you manage to look me in the eye during our vacation and tell me that you love me? Make me understand.” Ray was standing right now, looking straight into Cindy’s eyes while saying all this.
“I fell in love with you along the way. Nothing has been a lie. I fell in love and that’s why I have never walked away. That’s why I haven’t given up on us but you can’t understand how it was possible after seeing that message. But it was not a lie. It was all true.” Cindy said pleadingly.
“Is that all, Cindy?” Ray sounded very irritated.
“Don’t be like that babe.”
“Like what, Cindy?” The sternness in Ray’s voice was clear.
“You know what I mean.”
“You wanted me to listen to you talk, I have listened. What else do you want? Huh!”
“Babe… please.” Her eyes were now teary. Whatever she feared the most, was now happening. It was right in front of her.
Ray continued making slow strides. He was not saying anything, or even looking at Cindy. Anyone walking behind them could have thought that the two were strangers. The coldness between them was very conspicuous.
At the same time, Cindy was walking by his side. Trying to keep up with his pace. She did not know what to say. She had said all the truth. The truth she thought she’d carry to her grave if fate had them married. Looking at Ray made her hopeless, Ray did not want to hear any more words from her.
“I will need time to think things through. Meanwhile, I will need space. You’ll have to take your clothes and go to your house in the meantime.” Ray said with sadness in his voice.
As they made slow strides back to the house, Cindy knew that there was little she could do to change the tides of their relationship. Ray was someone you could hardly convince about anything once he had decided on something. Begging was not even an option for her.
As she looked at Ray, she wondered why she had to fall in love with him at such a time. A time when the only thing she hoped for was healing, plus a good time. Things had taken an unexpected direction and there was nothing she could do at this time. She wished for any other better reality, but you can’t reverse time and fix things.
She was not sure if Ray would forgive and take her back. Whatever lay ahead was unclear to her and now more than ever, she hated staying in a state of limbo waiting for something she was not sure was coming. At this time, she had to make up her mind. That come what may, she would be okay. It was now time to focus on her healing because so much work lay ahead.
Would Ray forgive her? Would you?
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