Having a baby can be an exciting and joyful experience. It can also be overwhelming and stressful for the mum. From sleep deprivation to postpartum recovery, new mums have a lot on their plate. Even worse, as they struggle, they may have difficulties articulating exactly how they would like to be helped.
Here are some practical things you can do to support a new mom so that their transition to motherhood is significantly less stressful and easier overall. The article focuses primarily on mums because we still live in a patriarchal society in which childcare and all other domestic labour are largely the purviews of women which means they are the most in need of rescue whether they are partnered or not.
Food
New mums can be so overwhelmed with caring for the baby that other things like preparing their own meals and sustenance take a back seat. To help, offer to make meals or create a meal train so that they always have someone delivering meals to them. You can also just order them food from their favourite eateries through the many food delivery services.
Diapers and wipes
The most useful, practical gift you can give new moms is diapers and wipes. This is a safe and needed gift. Just ask about the size to be sure then go to town.
Clean
Having chores to do only compounds the stress new mums feel. Clean something, anything. Do the dishes, clear up the table, vacuum the house, empty the trash, and fold the laundry. There’s no shortage of things that need cleaning in your ordinary house, how much more one that has a new baby? You can do it together as friends, pitch in and make the work move faster. If this isn’t your thing, pay a cleaning service to come in and do it for them or pay your housekeeper to come and clean their house.
Check things off her to-do list
Life continues which means new mums have the same responsibilities even though they have this new shift in priorities. You can help by shouldering some of the responsibilities and obligations they still have. For example, pay the bills, pick up medication, buy groceries and do other house shopping, run any errands she has, and help with the pets.
Emotional support
Encourage new mums. Verbally let them know they’re doing a good job. They are already so stressed and so sure they’re not doing enough, your verbal support can go a long way in encouraging them. If you’ve been there yourself, talk about your experience as you ask them how they’re doing.
One mum talked about how great it was when her mom-friends would ask how she was doing and add their own experiences of things like that first shower, tearing and the first time you go to the bathroom. Talk about what worked for you. Listen. Let them feel their feelings without any judgment. Feeling lost, depressed, and helpless is common and letting them talk about it can help.
Babysit
If she will let you offer to babysit while she sleeps or rests or goes out for a walk or a date. New mums rarely get a break to relax and just enjoy a little time on their own. This can give her a chance not only to rest and feel rejuvenated but also some time to feel like herself again.
Bring her a gift
For many new mums, their lives revolve around their babies which makes sense. While shopping for baby stuff is damn near irresistible, you should take a break and buy the new mom something. Just to make her feel good.
Check out
Parenting: 7 Things To Know About Newborn Babies
Parenting: 6 Self-Care Tips For New Mums
Parenting: Breastfeeding Hacks For New Mums
