Marriage is one of the most respected institutions around the world. Different communities have different practices in marriage, unique to their societal norms, cultures, values and traditions.
Ideally, we have been socialized to think about marriage a certain way. For young women, marriage ought to be our greatest achievement. Everything we do should never come in the way of marriage. A contrasting scenario for our male counterparts who are at liberty to do whatever they want, as long as they provide for their wives and children.
Women are burdened with the responsibility to make sure that marriage works. Society has not only tasked but demanded that women remain patient through physical, emotional and verbal turmoil in marriage. On the other hand, men have been conditioned to think that nagging is just a common practice for married women; therefore, they are dismissive of their women’s cries for help.
The number of divorce cases being filed every day around the world has gone up, especially during and after the pandemic. The raising divorce rates have been attributed to several things. One of them is that women are usually more emotionally invested in their relationships, pouring into them with the hope of better things. Regrettably, most men are often dismissive of their wives’ pleas and emotional contribution to the marriage.
The evolving marriage dynamics have furthered this challenge in numerous ways. Unlike in previous social settings, men and women pool resources together to support their families financially. As such, it is expected that the same support is accorded in other areas of life, for example; childcare duties.
Evidently, the contrasting perspectives of marriage between men and women are the significant reasons for divorce. I find it appalling that most men say they “didn’t see it coming”. Constant disregard for your wife’s cries will most definitely end in a rift in the relationship. Or is it so normal to underestimate your spouse’s emotional wellness?
Cindy Noir took to Twitter to share an encounter with a newly-divorced man who “didn’t see it coming”. Here are some of the reactions to her Tweet.
Juma attributes this case to strained communications in marriages. A major relationship green flag is communication. It’s quite bizarre to expect your partner to figure out why you are angry. I think both partners should exercise effective communication, disagree without fighting, listen to a partner’s opinion and ask for their views.
Women invest emotionally in relationships with the hope that the same will be extended to them. Emotional unavailability to a partner could run your relationship to the gutters. Petty Coat Kris thinks that this could be the reason why most men realize pretty late that their partners have been unhappy.
A Family lawyer makes a point of asking his clients if they remember what their wives nag about. The dismissive tendency of men toward their wives’ emotional instability is one of the main reasons for divorce.
Most divorce cases are often filed by women. Women stay in unhappy marriages for long times, because society demands that they make their marriage work. They hope to be heard and for things to get better, every dawning day until they realize that their male counterparts are barely putting in the work and they decide to leave.
Women eventually exhaust all their patience and leave their marriages with the slightest provocations. People often call it petty, and give reasons why they should have stayed and worked it out, but before getting to this point, they have actually communicated more than enough times.
Men have a different approach to how they deal with unhappiness. Most men think that giving it time will eventually solve the problems they are experiencing, but time and space with little effort and communication only create barriers in the relationship.
It’s quite debatable who decides to leave the relationship first, before doing the actual and physical steps of leaving a marriage. Apparently, most men want to appear kind by not filing for divorce and waiting for their wives to do so. Even if they want it, they often push their wives to file for divorce.
Societies have raised misogynistic men who care less about working on their marriages and listening to their partners and don’t realize the damage it causes their marriages. Men live up to societal expectations, completely disregarding their partner’s emotional pleas because society has made them believe that married women act this way.
We’ve all been offered marriage 101 classes. here’s how your husband will react or respond to your sulking, or constant nagging. So as a woman, do this or that to make your husband happy. Can society create a checklist for men on how to respond to their partner’s complaints? Shouldn’t society incorporate women’s emotional wellness in marriage tutorials?
How children are raised, especially boys, determines the kind of brothers, husbands and fathers that they will become. It is important for married couples to show kids how to wade through murky waters, instead of being dismissive and only starting to communicate when a divorce is imminent.
Ethereal shares that she’s had the same experience even though she wasn’t married. Being in a relationship that is expected to end in marriage can be daunting, especially if your partner is emotionally unavailable.
Most people raise eyebrows when they hear that couples that have been married for longer periods of time are getting divorced. Most marriages are long over before the physical steps are made. Women stay hoping that their partners might change for the better, but their benefit of the doubt keeps getting trampled, over and over again.
There are shifting dynamics in marriage. For example, the power dynamic in a couple could dictate what their wants and needs are. If these needs aren’t being met, the next available solution is a divorce, as both partners try to find people that meet their needs.
People often ask but was 30 years or 25years why wouldn’t she hold on to the marriage because it’s been such a long time? But why would you compromise your happiness because of time?
There is no formula for a happy marriage. People always have to make a choice every day. To keep loving their partners, to put in the work and ensure that they are meeting each other’s needs.
Women have to make the most drastic decisions for men to actually realize that they have been quite unhappy in their marriages. This woman decided to create a movie out of her marital issues and that’s when her husband realized that her unhappiness was such a big deal. What the heck?
Emotional unavailability, unhappiness and strained communication in relationships are the leading cause of divorces. What would prompt you to file for a divorce?
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