Amanda thought so much about the weekend. Specifically how it would all go down as she had made plans with her boyfriend, John, to go out of town for the weekend.
It was Thursday, and Amanda was unsure if she wanted to go. The last time they had spent time together, she questioned whether she wanted to continue being John’s girlfriend.
“Hi love”.
Her phone beeped with John’s message.
“Hi too, babe, how are you?”
John replied that he was well and asked about the weekend plans.
“Well, I am still thinking about it.”
This reply seemed weird. The two had dated for a year now. Weekend plans were always clear by the time it was midweek. It was Thursday, and Amanda was still unsure about the whole thing.
“What’s there to think about babe?”
Amanda wondered how she would reply without being offensive.
From a logical perspective, there was nothing to think about. At this point, nothing could have made the plans something to think about. Amanda’s work had no serious commitment that could make the weekend busy. There was no family commitment to attend to. She had had a girls’ night out the other weekend, and given that they had made plans to have a weekend out, it would seem weird to continue with that line of conversation.
“Well, final touches before leaving.”
John laughed with a light emoji.
“Okay, Friday evening, we are off.”
“Okay.”
Though unsure about the whole thing, she thought it was a good idea to give their love one more try before making a major decision, and just like that, the weekend plans were clear.
Amanda had liked John the first time she saw him. John, too, had liked Amanda. It was mutual, so everything flowed when John made his moves.
Everything was exciting and great for a few months. But as they say, do not judge a book by the cover.
Amanda was sure everything was going in the right direction, as anyone would hope when they got into a new relationship until they spent the first night together.
After supper, making love and some conversation, they fell asleep. An hour into her sleep, Amanda was woken up by some weird sound. The sound was very persistent and very close. She pulled herself above the duvet to hear clearly.
After several seconds of listening, Amanda realized the sound was on the bed. John was snoring, and he was seriously snoring.
She tried to go back to sleep, but the snore was too loud to ignore. Amanda just stared into the dark, wondering why she did not know about this snoring.
They had created a close friendship that led to their dating. A friendship that was so open they talked about everything or rather Amanda had thought so. Some details may have slipped her in the process of knowing each other.
But as she thought about it now, she never mentioned how the light of a sleeper she was. She rarely slept deeply, which meant that she heard anything that happened at night, and even the faintest noise could not pass her consciousness.
Had she mentioned this, she may have had a chance to know about this part of John. But do people know whether they snore at night or not?
This conversation, right here, happened to be the conversation that they had never had.
On that first night, Amanda had thought that maybe John was too tired, which led to snoring. That day had been so busy. The two had gone hiking, and as one would know, tiring contributes to snoring for some people. So, she decided to persevere through the night.
It was one long night of turning and tossing. Eventually, the morning came. She concluded that John had been so tired and that she won’t experience such a night again.
Yet, the next night was not any different. Then, the next one too, and after some time, Amanda established that John snored every time he slept and that dating him would require accepting this part of him.
One day though, Amanda decided to mention this to him. One morning after waking up, Amanda pressed the button.
“Babe, you snored last night. You must have been very tired.”
“Wow! But I never snore while sleeping. Even when I am tired.”
“Maybe you were too tired last night?”
“Are you sure you heard me?”
“Yes…”
“My first time, then.”
Amanda could not help but wonder how it was his first time snoring, yet he had heard him snore since they started dating. Or maybe he was joking, thought Amanda.
Amanda thought so much about their love and how far they had come. In one year of close friendship and dating, they had established so much between them but was it enough to get over the sleepless nights she had had since when they slept n the same bed?
She thought she’d get used to his snoring, but a year later, nights were the same as the first time they spent the night together.
Amanda wondered why she had never talked about it earlier, like even the first time she noticed this. Maybe the first night was soon, but she asked herself about the next time and the others that followed. It took almost six months before she spoke about it.
She wanted to believe that she could get used to it. Aren’t lovers supposed to have space for things they do not like about their significant others??
While packing her bag for the weekend, she kept thinking about how she would end things without hurting John. John was a good man. Almost everything ticked on her wish list, except for this snoring. One night she went outside to have some fresh air, and she could hear the snoring from outside. Yes, it was that loud.
John had a good heart and good plans for them. He treated Amanda very well so that she usually felt like a queen. But Amanda wondered if it was enough always to have sleepless nights.
She finished packing the bag and called Angie, her best friend.
“Hey.”
“Hello, what’s up?”
“I just finished parking.”
“I don’t understand, I thought you had decided not to go?”
“I changed my mind today.”
A bit of uncomfortable silence.
“Amanda, are you serious?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Okay, why did you change your mind?”
“I thought about it all and figured out that John is a good man. He does not deserve to be ghosted. At least I give him a decent end to all this.”
“A decent end could also happen over coffee, girl. Have you considered that?”
“Yeah, but we had made plans Angie, and he was so excited about everything.”
“Or maybe you are not yet ready to let go of this relationship?”
“Not really, Angie. I put myself in his shoes and if he was to break up with me, I would have wanted a long moment together. Closure and everything”.
“Amanda, you are not yet ready to break up, but be careful girl.”
“Okay.”
Friday evening came, and the journey to their weekend destination began. It was one quiet drive. Quiet and weird simultaneously, which was unusual because Amanda was one chatty and noisy person.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is okay. Why do you ask?”
“You are so quiet.”
“Yeah… I am just thinking.”
“What are you thinking about?” John asked.
“About us.”
“What about us.”
“Everything, from how it all started to where we are now.”
“Okay,” John said.
Then an awkward silence followed.
“What about it, specifically?”
“Everything has been good,” Amanda said as she chuckled.
John slows down and parks by the roadside.
“You were not sure about coming to this trip even after planning for it and that’s not the you I know. You are planned and organized so that by midweek you are clear about your weekend. You have been different the whole week, and now, you are quiet in a way that’s not usual. Is there anything I should know about?”
Amanda fidgeted with her necklace, all the while looking tensed.
The moment had come earlier than she had hoped. It was now or never. John had already sensed something was wrong and lying would not help. She looked for a way to say what she wanted, but no words seemed perfect. She did not want to mention the real reason, by at least having something tangible to break up.
“I have not been well of late and I think I need a break.”
John kept quiet.
“But we can go through it together, whatever it is. You know I care about you.”
“Some seasons in life require one to go through them alone. I think this is it for me.”
“Babe…” John said this faintly.
He had loved Amanda so much and differently. John had not anticipated for such a thing to happen any soon. They did not fight or experience any form of difficulty.
It must be that she genuinely needed the break.
Then, a few moments of thinking gave John a different perspective on the whole issue.
Isn’t this how I broke up with Abby? He thought.
“I know what this is, Amanda. Because I have done it before. Angie’s boyfriend told me about what you had told Angie. Something that makes me feel that it is not a genuine break you want, but an actual breakup. But did we have to come all this way? Couldn’t we have this conversation over lunch?”
Amanda went mute.
All this while, she wondered whether to ask him about his denial of the whole thing when she asked him. After deliberations, she reasoned that if she asked, it would open up a platform for more dialogue, which may lead to a make-up. She had a soft spot for him, and she may not get what she wanted if she was not careful.
She decided to remain quiet.
John turned the car, and they headed back to town
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