“I’ve never been single.” My friend said as we had cocktails at an upmarket lounge. It rubbed me the wrong way. A few years ago I’d have gassed her up and told her how she was a goddess who should never be single. However, my views about relationships have significantly changed over the years. Saying that she has never been single was not an accomplishment. In fact, it made me question how healthy her relationships really were.
Whether you’re single, married, divorced or dating should not bother you nor should your relationship status define you. This is easier said than done, though. The reality is if you are in a relationship, people will treat you like a higher class while single people get second class treatment. Maybe this is why my friend goes above and beyond to ensure that she’s someone’s babe. Society has made us value a relationship and base it on our self-worth.
Attachment In Love
From a young age, we’re taught that marriage is the ultimate goal. When we go back to visit our relatives the question in everyone’s mouth is “when are you getting married?”. If you hear this question constantly it will make you believe that you’re only valued if you’re in a relationship.
Additionally, relationships are overly romanticized in movies. This has motivated many of us to get in relationships we had no business being in and have an unhealthy attachment. I used to be a big fan of romantic comedies because they fed my fantasy of finding the perfect love. After many failed relationships, I realized it wasn’t that easy, and being single didn’t mean that my life was less perfect.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas
Social Media And Relationship Goals
Social media doesn’t make it easy for single people either. Imagine you’re scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and you see engagement pictures all over. Then you realize that your high school classmate just got engaged – another one – yet you’re not even in a serious relationship. Relationships Are Overrated. Learn To Enjoy Your Single Life
It’s hard not to feel like you’re defined by your relationship status when relationships are glorified everywhere you look. So, when someone says that they’re happily single, it’s hard to believe them. I’ve been on that side and I can tell you, there’s nothing happy about it, especially with all this pressure to be in a relationship. I’d find myself rolling my eyes at a happy couple who were busy minding their own business?
Your relationship status can really do a number on you if you base it on your self-worth. You feel worthless, unloved, and lonely. Then, you start being bitter about people who are in a relationship since you want what they have. However, if you put as much effort into yourself and nurture self-love not only will you be okay with your relationship status but you’ll attract the right kind of partner in your life.
In conclusion, love yourself. Relationships are good but they don’t determine your value. So, forget what you’ve seen and heard and know that you’re worthy regardless of your relationship status.
5 Lessons On Self Love We Should Learn And Implement
Relationships: 6 reasons why being single is not a bad thing
6 Ways To Support Your Single Friends (And Family) Throughout The Years