I met James while I got my hair done. He came by to check on his aunt so they could go on with their day’s plans. She was halfway done which meant that he had to wait for at least another hour.
I, on the other hand, was done and was at the cashier’s desk paying for my sleek, 24-inch Brazilian lace front wig installation. I looked like a million dollars and felt just as good. As I stood, chatting with the cashier, I could see him staring at me from the corner of my eye. I ignored his lustful glance and made my way to an Uber which was waiting to take me to a friend’s birthday venue.
Later that day, I got a text reading, “Hi. Forgive me if this is weird but I got your number from a relative. I’d like us to know each other.”
It might have been anonymous but I knew exactly who the text was from. I felt a wave of excitement run through my body. Did people still do these anonymous texts? The last time I got one must have been in college. I stared at my phone smiling until one of my friend’s interrupted me.
“Who’s that making you blush this hard?” she asked grabbing my phone and opening his profile picture.
“Okay. He’s cute. I don’t blame you.” She continued.
For the next few days, I found myself daydreaming about him and longing for the next text. I’d open his picture at least 5 times a day and watched his WhatsApp status each time I was online. He would post my picture every day with a sweet message. This was the first man who ever did that and it made me feel like I belonged to someone.
Eventually, he convinced me to visit him at his workplace. He ran a fast-food joint not too far from the salon so I became a frequent visitor at his place. We’d spend hours talking and he’d walk me home. I shared with him my worst fears and one of them was being heartbroken. I can comfortably say that within that short time, he learnt a lot about me as I did about him.
One night, instead of walking to my home, we went to his. I was nervous for some reason. I knew the first time with someone new was always bad but I wanted it to feel natural. He undressed then undressed me and it felt exactly how I had dreamt it would.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
I laughed thinking he was joking but he kept a straight face as if he genuinely wanted to know if I enjoyed it.
“Yea. Of course.” I replied.
Just to confirm, we had sex another three times that night. I woke up exhausted the next morning that I slept in and spent another night and another at his place. I must have stayed there for a whole week before going back home. Even when I went back, I only spent two days at home then went to his place.
It wasn’t just about the sex. He made me feel comfortable in my own skin. He didn’t even have to say it but the way he looked at me made me feel things. By now, I had met his friends and even bumped into some of his relatives. They were all for the relationship and some joked that we should get a baby. We laughed at how crazy it would be if I got pregnant after knowing him for such a short time.
However, the inevitable happened sooner rather than later. No, I wasn’t pregnant or at least I didn’t know I was pregnant yet. We broke up after one month of dating. It all happened so fast. His business started suffering and he was suspicious that his employees were stealing from him since he didn’t spend as much time at the business as he used to. We tried to hold on to the remnants of our love but realized that we both needed constant attention from our partners. Since we couldn’t spend as much time together as we did, the love quickly fizzled and I was left heartbroken.
I could have sworn I would end up marrying that man. We had even talked about having children. Yes, that soon. As days turned to weeks, I started getting weird symptoms like cramping and spotting but I wouldn’t get my period. One month passed and the cramps got worse. So, I turned to Google to check if I could be pregnant, and apparently I showed early signs of pregnancy.
“Babe, I might be pregnant,” I told my best friend over the phone.
“With that man’s baby?” she asked.
“Yes, who else?”
“You knew for like two minutes. What are you going to do now?”
“I have to tell him,” I answered.
We hadn’t spoken since he left me heartbroken apart from two times when I had to pick my personal stuff from his place. I texted him nervously. Those same nerves I used to feel when I first met him were back. I was almost sure he wouldn’t reply but instead, I saw his number calling on my phone screen. After composing myself, I answered the phone.
“Hey, baby girl.” He said.
He still called me that?
“Hey,” I replied. “We need to talk in person.”
“Sure. You can come by the hotel.”
“No. It needs to be somewhere indoors and private.”
“My place?” he asked.
I knew it was a bad idea but I had no choice. I had to take the pregnancy test and I didn’t want to do it alone. So, I agreed to meet him at his place. I went by in an afternoon and it was as awkward as you can imagine but I didn’t care at that point. The only thing on my mind was whether I was pregnant or not. I explained to him that despite my strong front, I was heartbroken inside and things were about to get worse. Once I was calm, I took the test which came back positive.
I sort of expected it and had already come up with a plan. He tried to chime in but my mind was already made up.
“I’m going to keep it. You can participate in being a parent but we’re not getting back together. I’m also moving out from home so I won’t be around here anymore.” I explained.
“Why are you doing this baby girl? I finally have a child with the girl of my dreams and you do this?! I’m sorry for what happened, I was just under a lot of pressure. I could have lost my business.”
Being heartbroken by someone who promised you everything hurts a thousand times more. I didn’t want to raise my child with someone who I didn’t love anymore. At the moment, he’s been providing for us financially as I wait for my delivery date. He pays my rent, sends money for groceries, and pays for my clinic visits. He’s even been to a few of the visits. I’m due in 2 months and I still don’t know if I should forgive the man who left me heartbroken and pregnant after dating for 1 month.
The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.