Hilarious Tweets About Growing Up With African Parents

If you have an African parent then you know how they don’t mess around.

Here are so many memes and videos about African parents that can keep you amused for days. Like this one

A while back @curateAfrica – Tehn Diamond took us back to when we were young and how our parents would discipline us for any small mistake or express their disappointment.

1. Our parents have eyes on the back of their heads or a third eye. That or the ancestors are whispering to them what we would do in secret.

Broke a vase. Buried it in the garden. Nobody saw me. I found that vase on my bed that night next to a belt. #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

2. Thinking about sleepovers was a no – n

Me: can I my friend stay the night ?

Dad: for what, doesn’t he have his own home ?#AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

3. You are so scared of your parents that you can only confess your sins years later when it is too late for your mother to beat you

Did this too only difference my mother never found her vase…I confessed on my wedding day ???? https://t.co/uenKjsAZDE

— Thatso (@KGmathebula) January 17, 2017

4. Your neighbours believed it takes a village to raise a child. So your friend’s mother will beat you on your mother’s behalf. That didn’t mean that your mother still wouldn’t discipline you.

Once got in trouble. Ran to my best friend’s place down the road. Got there & HIS mom beat me FOR my mum ????#AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

5. Being in the same room with a girl after a certain age meant that you were up to no good.

Once got caught in my girlfriend’s room. We were literally doing school work. Her Dad chased through the window. #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

6. Your parents would let you pick your instrument of torture … discipline. You would pay for thinking that you were going to get off lightly.

Broke a vase. Got caught. Got to pick my own belt. Picked the thinnest one I cud find. Like a fool. Died that night #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

Remember going to church and being excited that it was finally time to go home. Only for your mum and her friends to start catching up for the next one hour. And you were hungry. Image from http://30daysblogchallenge.blogspot.com/2015/10/things-african-parents-do-or-say.html

7. You were playing with your siblings and having fun … But your mother did not get the memo and you got slapped silly.

Once “hid” my sister in a washing machine. Don’t ask. Mum lifted me up by my ears & slapped me b4 I hit the ground. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

8. You got a whooping for laughing when your siblings were being beaten. How dare you laugh at your sibling? Beat one, get another one to beat for free!

@Curate_Africa Mom was whooping my lil bro and i was laughing. Next thing, i was being whooped for laughing #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— Divha (@Ndinobhowa) January 17, 2017

9. Your parents would play mind games during discipline time.

Got a chance to choose belts again. This time, a wide belt. Mum laughed at this & picked up a shoe instead. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

10. You would get pinched for the little things but for some of the big things the slipper would come off your mother’s foot. It was painful.

The slipper is the most potent ???????? https://t.co/RASQ4TaG49

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mna7ixNnpeE

11. Not as painful as those green juicy branches that would be cut for special beatings.

@Curate_Africa Yes. But not as potent as those juicy green branches that would be cut by my dad just to give one a beating. Those were????????????

— Rayhab Gachango (@potentash) January 17, 2017

12. When you sneaked out of the house, had fun and then you come back to find your parents have a black belt for beating errant children.

Once snuck out the house. I was found. Got home to “come sit, let’s talk”. No words were exchanged. Just belts. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

Where is your husband? Image from https://www.naija.ng/1132132-top-10-funny-nigerian-memes.html#1132132

13. When your sibling would make a mistake, you would help them cover up and then you would get a beating on their behalf because obviously, you were the one who made the mistake. Siblings are not good people clearly as they would not confess.

That time my little bro broke a vase & I helped him bury it. Like a fool. Anyway, I met with the belt & he watched. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

14. Saying no would unleash a beating

Once upon a time I said “No”. I don’t recall the question, but know was not that answer. A belt appeared that night. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

15. When you were trying to be cool but your dad was not feeling that story.

Got braids once. I was like 13. Tevin Cambell style. Mum said “yes”. Dad cut half while I slept that night. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

16. Dads who had no chills whatsoever.

Dyed my hair blonde once. Sisqo was my hero. Mum said “yes”. Dad said “find a new home”. #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

17. Going to your friends’ homes to eat would get you a whooping. And somehow they would find out!

In fact, lemme tweet these facts. Cos it’s too true. https://t.co/jfuv10uc9a

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

THINGS KENYAN PARENTS DO 3

https://youtu.be/OJGbVRqZiEI

18. It was not socially acceptable to go eat at your friend’s house. When you asked in advance it was even worse you would get a tongue lashing

Me: can I go have dinner at my friend’s place ?

Mum: where did we go wrong with you ?

Me: ????#AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

19. Trying dreadlocks was clearly a sign of rebellion. It is better to chop it at the roots.

@Curate_Africa @potentash Tried to have some dreadlocks.. MA shaved them with ✂, dad said you could have cut his head..

— Dr.Richards Muhoya (@DrWandiaphd) January 17, 2017

African parents be like. Image from https://martomavela.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/my-african-parent/

20. When you would be given options between weapons of mass discipline. A thread

Lol, @Curate_Africa reminded me of my old man’s ways.He’d lay out an array of whips on the dining table and make a show of choosing one.

— Muliwana Mutiti (@TheFiveBeyond) January 17, 2017

21. If it was not enough to feel the pain of falling from a tree, you needed to feel the pain of disobeying your parents and climbing trees you had no business climbing.

@Curate_Africa Played hide and seek thought it wise to hide on top of a tree after falling the belt was sent #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— Thapelo Dyson (@phelothepoet) January 17, 2017

22. Not giving your Mother her respect would get you a beating. Names are important!

#AfricanParentsDontPlayThat
Mom: KIM
Me: *Answers* “yeah” instead of saying “Ma”
Mom: oooo So I’m your size now? Come here!
Me: gtg gtg gtg pic.twitter.com/j5nE1MFY9m

— #ZimConnectWeekender (@mamoe_1) January 17, 2017

23. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Whichever way you would get a beating!

#AfricanParentsDontPlayThat My mom whooped me for talking when she was talking and when I shut up she whooped me more for not talking back.

— Andereya Nyanya (@Dre1729) January 17, 2017

24. Even as an adult you still have to apologize for doing stuff your mother doesn’t like. Your body is your mother’s property lol.

@Curate_Africa 5 yrs ago I got a tattoo. My mom found out last year and made me apologise to her for getting it #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— Iris West Allen (@BlahImAfrican) January 17, 2017

25. You were guilty by association so you needed to be beaten before you did the “stupid” things others were doing

#AfricanParentsDontPlayThat
My aunt called my mum to say my cousin -same age as me- had pierced 4holes in her ears.
My mum beat me for that

— CalamityJane (@mhinganzima) January 17, 2017

26. Asking visitors innocent questions was enough to get your parents mad.

Asked visitors during dinner how long they were staying over.Girafe’s got nothing on kick i got under the table #africanparentsdontplaythat

— Steven Chikosi (@stevenchikosi) January 17, 2017

27. Your parents would really make you pay for your mistakes so that you would not try that foolishness again.

@Curate_Africa my bro drove car downhill into garden. Parents took keys & told him to put it back in the garage. #AfricanParentsDontPlayThat

— Steven Chikosi (@stevenchikosi) January 17, 2017

28. There was no excuse for foolishness. You would get a beating.

Once jumped from a balcony cos I didn’t wanna use the stairs. There was a spider. I was 12. Met a belt that day #AfricanParentsDontPlay

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017

29. But in the end, you realize your parents made you who you were. And you wouldn’t change anything in hindsight.

Amen to the world. Wouldn’t change a second of my upbringing for anything ???????? https://t.co/QXOIIESAVD

— C•A| TehnDiamond???????? (@Curate_Africa) January 17, 2017