Kenya is known for its party life. There is never a day that you will not find a bar full, I would know because I do not leave far from them. As I walk in the evening I pass my dear neighbours and I spot the familiar crowd at the local. While growing up I unconsciously studied different groups of drunkards. When younger I thought some were entertaining, while others simply made me want to melt away from them. Alcohol is a depressant; some say it brings out the true side of someone while others cannot handle their liquor. I have noticed a pattern when it comes to alcohol. No one really starts drinking and manages perfect behaviour. When some begin drinking they are wild beyond words and as they progress in that world they learn to drink responsibly. But which drunken characters may make you pull your hair out?
- The lecturer: As I mentioned above there are people I thought were giving me advice while I was younger until I knew why. These people cannot keep calm, all of a sudden they have a very long opinion about your shoes and why you should date someone else. You may try to run but sadly you can never hide. During their lectures, they stammer repeatedly and find themselves repeating themselves. You see such people are those who while sober could not tell you their truth. Personally, I believe it would be faster if they said it while sober. They also love the phrase “I am talking, listen to me”. They cannot give you time to talk; it is not in your place. All you have to do with these ones is entertain their thoughts fully. Listen, nod and tell them they make a lot of sense. If possible just run away very fast or pull the “I am coming back card and then disappear”. Chances are, they will probably only remember a fraction of it the next day.
- Dramatic one: This one is feisty. He or she looks for drama once they are drunk. As a matter of fact, this one and the lecturer do not get along unless they are on the same page. They are the ones that will imagine someone looked at them badly and then want to cause a scene. Did I mention they love crying? I do not know what happens at that time, but they can win an Oscar for their action. They love causing a scene and everyone must know. Be careful as these are not the ones you want to meet their exes at the party scene. If you see their enemy, distract them as quickly as possible. With these kinds of people, you need to remain calm. Usually, there’s a friend that they prefer. They will most likely insist that they need a particular someone for them to calm down and threaten not to if they do not get that person.
- Emotional one: These ones do not have to be dramatic but they pour their souls out. They remember their past and how tragic it was. They hardly remember the good things that happened; these are the ones that need your attention as a therapist. They start off very well then all of a sudden they are quiet or silently crying in a corner. All you need to do is remind them of happy things. This is when you need to pull your psychology mode out. If you’re the intolerant type do not handle this person. You may end up making them worse. It’s very easy for these kinds of drunks to ruin the ambience, they tend to need attention at that time while everyone wants to party. Sometimes if they have the same pity party, just ignore them.
- The one who disappears: Ever felt like you’re playing a cat-and-mouse game throughout the night? You came together to the party scene but your dear friend cannot calm down. There are different reasons as to why your friend may be the one who gets away. Sometimes they are quite popular and you cannot keep up with them. What is even worse is that they either left you with their phone or their phone is off. When they come back to you, they act like nothing happened. The worst types in this category are the ones who disappear with strangers. They either come back with those strangers or sometimes you may have to walk around the whole bar or street looking for them. If you could buy a leash for such people. Make sure they are right next to you or you have to follow them everywhere they go. You need to be a loyal friend to pull this off.
- Blackout: There is nothing worse than having a friend who may psych you to go out then an hour later they are having a lie-down on the bar counter. To be more specific they black out right after a few drinks. I would like to call them the lightweights too. I suggest you do not use a cab with such people. Go with a friend that has a car so when the lightweight sleeps you can put them in the car. Another option is to remind them that they will black out if they do not pace their drinks hence why they should drink some water. If they refuse, scare them with the possibility of leaving them in the bar.
So, there you have it. The groups of drunkards that you need to think about while with them. You obviously cannot avoid them especially if they are close to you but you can deal with them. If there are other types that I have left out, definitely enlighten us.
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