The chemicals have stopped kicking in, the in love phase has suddenly stopped. Adrenaline to see babe has reduced and now reality has checked in. More often not the phone calls disappear and things seem a bit icy, though the main ingredient love is still there. As long as there is love between you and your partner then fear not because with the following steps you can bring back the fire.
1. Communication: After a while in a relationship, talking about philosophical topics becomes rather boring. You perhaps know each other’s favourite colours as well as clothes. So texts become about your day which comes back as a simple it was fine, just tiring. The next thing you’re both rummaging your minds for is something interesting to say. Then you bore each other out with the same responses. Yes, the mystery that was once there is not the same. But at this point, you both need to get more detailed about your day. You need to chat like best friends; this is usually particularly harder for men as they are not keen in this area. But for a lady, when you want to make a girl connect to you, you need to make her feel as if she is a part of your life. This means you need to tell her about the new tie you bought or the things you consider too much detail is exactly what makes her feel special as you will not be telling everyone else such information. In the time of WhatsApp and many other apps that make it easier to catch up, then you need to do it, especially if you are in a long-distance relationship.
2. Invest in activities: Remember the dates? The chilling together and the memories that were made? This usually reduces especially when the man stops chasing, I mean you’re his now, so he decides to stay home and chill as you watch his football games or he plays FIFA at times. Things take an unexpected turn and the lame excuse of there’s no time keeps sprouting. Well if you do not want to disappear from each other’s life, you need to up your game. Take a weekend off and go someplace else, different environments can help you do recharge your relationship as you spend time alone. Go to the movies; go to the first place that you went on your first date. It does not have to be expensive but it has to have a deeper meaning than just another duty that you have to do.
3. Do not share your relationship space: Your friends will have to chill. If your friends care about you they will give your relationship space. It’s all nice if all your friends get along, but this doesn’t mean that they live in your house. When you go on dates they all come around and it becomes like a family thing. Meanwhile, if your relationship is deteriorating, you need to create an environment that puts you back in that bubble. That bubble allows you two to bond and create chemistry.
4. Buy each other gifts: at some point small little gestures to show appreciation fades. This means you should buy each other some gifts this month or perhaps go get a photo of you two together.
5. Dress to kill: Let’s not kid ourselves, at the beginning of a relationship style is to impress. As a lady, you need to remind him how hot you look in your little black dress and as a man you need to invest in new cologne. People may lie that it’s all about the heart alone but remember at some point there was a strong physical attraction, so you need to do the little things that make a difference. Paint your nails the colour you know he’ll like. Women also need to fancy you physically, yes we like to hear nice things but we also want to look at you and be attracted to you.
6. Be affectionate: Hold each other’s hands, I bet you forgot that feeling. While at the grocery shop, instead of one of you walking ahead, learn to appreciate every minute you have together. Hold her waist or her hand. A bit of public affection never hurt anyone. At home get rid of that stocking you wear on your head and get some lingerie to spice things ups, you should get intimate in a non-monotonous way. Shake up your routine and don’t let your love life become boring.
We live in a busy world but you still need to make time for your relationship if it is important to you. Do not let it crumble right in front of you; instead, make a conscious decision to re-ignite that spark. It is normal for love to change through the seasons. You need to learn to adjust and also work on igniting that love connection.
Vanessa Raychael is a young writer passionate about writing. She is a student at Daystar University. She has written for the People newspaper as a fiction writer and she also hosts a show in a gospel station known as Vision TV. During her spare time, she likes nature trails, spending time with friends and going for events. You can check out her work on her blog nochills.blogspot.com