So yesterday you got home drunk and found your wife sleeping on the couch, cold food on some dish and you asked, actually DEMANDED that she warm it for you. She was unwell and requested that you put it in the microwave that sits right across the room. This was a sheer display of disrespect according to you. The fact that she told you to warm the food yourself was already an insult to your ears. It offended you to the very core and rushed to where she was to show her exactly how much damage she had done by just telling that. With kicks and blows, you beat her up not knowing that she was nursing some pain in her body and she lay on the couch waiting for you to take her to hospital once you get home. She is so badly hurt that blood starts oozing from where you hit her. This does not bother you and you head to bed grumpy that you married a lazy wife who needs disciplining all the times. The next day, you rise up early and head to work, hypocrisy neatly covered by the sleek suits you wear. On the outside, you are the perfect family man, but harbour violence on the inside.
This may pass like a corny story but it is the reality of what is happening in some families. Let me break it down for you, if you are a man and always assault your significant other there in nothing sexy about it. There is nothing manly about your traits. True manhood dictates that every man should refrain from and condemn any form of violence against women. Here are some ways this can be made possible.
Sadly, there are some cultures which condone violence against women and there are people who still observe and uphold such. In some communities, Female Genital Mutilation is still rife despite calls from all quarters to shun the culture that has devastating effects on women who undergo it. Another very outdated culture is where girls are married off to people against their wish. They end up being abused by the men they are married to in a bid to have them comply with what is ordered. This is where men should step in and change these cultures. Men should not impose FGM on any woman, they should allow their daughters to freely choose their suitors and not marry off girls early.
Speaking against the vice
Men are often silent when women are physically, emotionally or psychologically abused. For instance, when a lady was stripped naked in Nairobi in the full glare of the public, most of the people that hovered around the scene were men. Instead of discouraging the act, some took time to snap away the ugly scenario. This is where the men who were there went wrong. Whenever men do not condemn such vices, it creates an enabling environment for more abuse against women. Men should care for women who are subjected to whatever form of violence and speak up. Where necessary, they can intervene for the safety of the woman.
Setting a good example
Children naturally imitate their parents. Parents should ensure that they are at their best so that their children learn from their good example. When a man assaults his wife in front of his kids, the boys will learn that it is okay to abuse women and when they grow up, they will replicate this kind of behaviour in their marriages. This will make it hard to rid this problem against women. The girls will take it that it is okay to be submissive to an extent that they are abused by the men in their lives. In future, if it happens to them, they will be unable to speak it out as they saw it happen to their mother when they were young. Men should set good examples to the kids.
Positive influence to friends
When men are having marital discussions with their friends, there is so much that is discussed maybe over a bottle of whiskey. So some men talk about how their women are meek and submissive to them because they regularly take time to discipline them. This normally happens when there is a man seeking advice on how to deal with their wives. This is where responsible men should step in and positively influence their friends to refrain from battering their women as this does prove you are more of a man. It may not seem once said but a rational man who listens may heed the advice.
I am an upcoming creative writer and pencil artist who has passion for anything art. I like travelling and meeting new people. I am currently pursuing commerce, finance major at the university of Nairobi. Through my writing, I hope to impact in the lives of people. I run my blog at www.mwauramswati.wordpress.com