The thrill of dating a man your mother won’t like?
Is it the fact that they are so exciting and never ever boring?
Is it the way they are confident? Is it the way they treat women?
What is it about bad boys that make women go all out to be with a bad boy and make nice guys finish last? Its not that all bad boys are handsome. Some are actually quite not handsome at all. Maybe it’s that aura of forbidden fruit or that feeling that the guy gives you. It could be that you’re rebelling against your upbringing and want the type of guy your mother wouldn’t approve of. Bad boys are very exciting, believe me, I know I have dated a couple in my younger wilder days (story of a good girl gone bad) but that’s another story for another day.
Bad boys are usually very confident. They know how to approach a woman. When a bad boy sees a woman he likes he is quick to ask her out. Or take a very short time to figure out which buttons to push to make her go out with him. They don’t hesitate to go in for the kill. This is where nice guys miss out, hanging around a woman they like for ages while being to tongue-tied and end up being friend-zoned.
Bad boys can treat a woman well when he is pursuing her or the other extreme. A bad boy can be extremely cruel to a woman or women but they still pursue him. Some women are so desperate to be loved that they will take anything that a man dishes out in order to stay with him.
Bad boys are usually very masculine (manliness not physique). They have this aura of confidence, masculinity, and independence.
Then there’s that thrill of dating a bad boy. It also gives a girl a feeling of being a badass. It’s like you become bad by association. It’s like saying to the world; look at how bad I am, I am dating a bad boy. Over the centuries bad boys have been known to deflower nice girls, break their hearts, and turn them into bad girls. Sometimes they just turn them into bad girls by making them do crazy things that they wouldn’t normally do, like take drugs.
Many girls usually think that if they can get a bad boy to fall for them they can change him. Women grow up watching these soaps and movies and reading books where the guy, who is tall, dark, handsome, and dangerous falls head over heels for them and all of a sudden he stops his bad boy ways. This is a fallacy as the only man a woman can change is a boy who is in diapers. A man has to want to change not be forced to change because he is forced. So this woman assumes that because this man is in love with her or maybe so she thinks she can tell him he has to change. Never mind the fact that his bad-boy ways are what attracted her in the first place. Now that she is in love she wants to change him into a better version of himself. This usually leads to heartbreak and some women never learn staying years in a heartbreaking relationship while praying and believing that the man will change. Some women are even beaten by their men, some extremely psycho bad boys who want to show their dominance or control over the women and they still stay. Some are subjected to physical, mental, and emotional abuse. But that’s not the bad boy we are taking about here. We are talking about the silver tongue; make you drop your panties in a minute kind of guy.
A bad boy can be a cure for boredom. Let’s face it most nice guys are boring. They don’t make your heart race or make you get out of your comfort zone. Bad boys make girls want to do things outside her comfort zone. They are like alcohol they can make you high, take you on a trip to the moon but the hangover the next day is a bitch. So they are so much fun yet at the end so much heartbreak.
I read somewhere that danger is an aphrodisiac. A bad boy will challenge a girl to do things she wouldn’t normally do, like having sex in a forbidden place. There are all sorts of clubs for people who have sex outside of the “normal” places where it is considered appropriate to have sex. The thrill of doing something forbidden is a turn-on. It creates an adrenaline high and when they are not caught there is the double satisfaction of being bad and not being caught.
Some girls date bad boys because they want to be noticed. The only way they believe they can do this is to date a bad boy. A nice girl might want to be seen as larger than life. They sometimes are not naturally bad girls but they want to be in the “in crowd” so they date bad boys so that they fit in or stand out.
Bad boys are exciting to women. Maybe it’s a survival thing. Maybe since time began bad boys used to be the best hunters because they were so daring. So maybe women used to gauge that and see that to survive they should choose the baddest boys around. Or maybe it’s just the excitement and sense of adventure that they provide. Whatever it is bad boys around the world make good and bad girls go crazy. There’s probably a scientist (probably a nice guy) out there somewhere studying why girls are attracted to bad boys. But as women get older they are more likely to date nice guys after having a bad boy or two break their heart. They tend to want more stability and less excitement whatever the reason bad boys make the world go round.
There’s a poem I wrote a while back about a bad boy. It’s called Casanova.
He’s got swag.
He has that silver tongue that makes girls blush and draw maps.
An expert in turning nice girls into naughty girls.
He got the skills to turn the mind into mush,
make emotions run hot.
He makes panties drop, that’s his forte.
Make loose inhibitions held in check disappear.
He is a ladies man,
But not every lady makes the cut.
He looks for beauty yes
But his passion is looking for innocence.
It’s not about virginity,
Though he’s partial to that too.
It’s about getting a lamb,
All meek and sweet,
Turning it into a tiger.
And when he’s done,
He views his masterpiece,
Nods because his work is done.
He must move on,
Because innocence is his aphrodisiac.
He leaves behind broken hearts and dreams.
He collects innocence,
Blends it into his cologne,
It’s a trap,
To lure the next butterfly to come taste,
The sweet forbidden fruit.
Potentash Founder. A creative writer. The Managing Editor at Potentash. Passionate about telling African stories and stories about the inclusion of minorities. Find me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
“We're all stories, in the end.” ― Steven Moffat