I had been dating Josephine for seven months. Everything was going well. We hadn’t had any major fights within that time. We spent almost every weekend together. On one particular weekend, my older sister called. She needed a favour. She asked me to look after her daughters, my 10-year-old niece and the 7-year-old one. The older daughter was supposed to spend the day with her best friend.
I love my nieces and was thrilled about spending more time with them. Josephine was to stop by later, so I informed her I’d be out with my nieces and their friend. We didn’t have any plans, so I didn’t think she’d have any problem with the changes. She was okay with it.
My sister had intended to take the girls for a painting session and then take them for lunch and swimming if the weather allowed it. I had no problem with the plans, so I picked them up at my sister’s house and took them to a popular mall in town where an artist was offering kids painting classes.
While the girls were indulging in painting, Josephine called me. She asked me where we were at.
“I’m at the mall with my nieces,” I said.
“Are you going to take long?” Josephine asked.
“I think it will take four more hours. They’re still painting, and then we’ll grab lunch and maybe some swimming since it’s hot,” I told her.
“Okay. Let me join you guys since I’m done with my errands. I don’t want to stay in the house by myself,” said Josephine.
Josephine joined us an hour later. She was excited to meet my 10-year-old niece, Ava, and her younger sister, Marie. Ava’s friend was Leila.
“Are you my uncle’s girlfriend?” Marie asked Josephine.
We all laughed.
“Yes, I am,” said Josephine.
“That’s cool. I’m hungry,” said Marie, changing the topic.
The kids needed food. We decided to have lunch at the mall before taking them elsewhere for swimming. As we were walking to the mall, I got a phone call, so I gestured to Josephine to take them inside as I took the call. It took about fifteen minutes, so they’d already placed their order by the time I joined them.
They’d gotten two pizzas and drinks. Josephine took the opportunity to talk to my nieces. She inquired about their hobbies and school stuff. Everything seemed fine. When the pizzas were ready, the waiter brought them. Ava and Marie excitedly dug into the pizza. Leila just took her drink.
“Leila, why are you not eating?” I asked.
“I don’t eat bacon,” she responded politely.
“Oh, uncle, Leila’s dad is Muslim. They don’t eat anything from pigs,” Ava added.
“Oh. Why didn’t you get one flavour without the bacon and ham while ordering?” I asked. It was more of thinking out loud than a question directed to anyone.
“Ava told Auntie Josephine to get chicken BBQ,” said Marie.
Josephine quickly said that she thought it was just a preference and thought the kids would enjoy the flavour she had chosen.
I asked Leila what she wanted and got her a different pizza flavour in a smaller size.
After lunch, we went swimming.
Leila was a little chubbier than Ava and was clearly struggling with swimming. She was a bit self-conscious and feared the water. However, Ava was her dedicated cheerleader. When it didn’t work, Ava called on me.
“Could you teach Leila how to swim the way you taught me?”
“You mean Marie is better at this than Leila? Just give her the floater,” Josephine said dismissively.
Leila made a face. She looked embarrassed by that statement. I hadn’t anticipated I’d have to get in the pool, but there was a guard at the pool. I asked him to help her. It took a few minutes, but by the time they were done, Leila was more confident. Ava was very happy for her.
When they came out of the water, they were hungry again. I ordered beef sausages for all of us and asked them what they wanted to drink. Ava and Marie wanted juice, while Leila asked for soda.
“Shouldn’t she have a healthier option?” Josephine asked.
“Mummy allows us to have soda sometimes,” said Marie.
I sensed some brewing tension. I asked the waiter to bring them whatever they wanted and gave Josephine a look. We spent another hour with them before I took them to my sister’s house. They all hugged me and Josephine goodbye. Leila hesitated to hug Josephine at first, but since the others were doing it, she joined in.
My sister found us outside as we were about to leave.
“Thank you so much for today. I hope they were no trouble,” she said.
“They never are,” I said.
“Oh my God. I forgot to tell you, Leila doesn’t eat pork products. Did the girls tell you that?” My sister asked.
“Yeah, we got it covered. Ava is a loyal friend,” I said.
“Oh, the two of them are inseparable. Even in school, they’re very tight,” said my sister.
They then had a small talk with Josephine, and then we left.
On our way home, Josephine commented on the day.
“Your nieces really love you,” she said.
“I’m their favourite uncle. It’s a title I carry with pride,” I said.
“Why have they let Ava’s friend get that big? I always wondered how other parents deal with kids with dietary restrictions. You know how kids these days are allergic to everything: nuts, gluten, and so many other things,” said Josephine.
“I don’t think she’s that chubby. It wasn’t such a big deal. If we knew she didn’t have pork, we’d have placed a different order.”
“That’s imposing restrictions on other people,” said Josephine.
“Ava and Marie are used to accommodating it. I think it’s nice that they grow up acknowledging that other people can have different preferences or diet restrictions,” I said.
“Still, that’s inconveniencing other people. Plus, I would not let her take sodas if she were mine. Maybe that’s why she’s big,” said Josephine.
She went on a rant about Leila. It bothered me that she picked on a 10-year-old kid. I hadn’t thought about it earlier, but while she was talking, I reflected on the interaction between her and the kids and realised that she had intentionally left out Leila. I imagine she focused on my nieces because they were family, but I felt it was wrong for her to pick on Leila.
Weeks later, I was talking to my sister when the topic came up. Marie, her younger daughter, had told her dramatically that Leila almost had juice for lunch as they had pizza because Auntie Josephine ordered two pizzas with bacon. She hadn’t thought much of it until Ava told her that she felt like Leila was sad because of Auntie Josephine.
By the end of that conversation, I knew it wouldn’t work out with Josephine. My mind went into overdrive, and I imagined how she would have treated Leila if I hadn’t been there. I also got the impression that she treated my nieces well because she knew they mattered to me. I began to feel like she had put up a show. I firmly believe how a person treats children says a lot about a person. I ended things with her shortly after.
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