A man went on social media to air his frustrations after his wife went behind his back and got pregnant without telling him.
According to the details provided on Twitter, he and his wife had planned to wait for two years before having children. The wait was for the purpose of financial planning since children come with responsibilities. Close family members and the church pressured the wife into breaking their plan.
Here is the tweet. Some of the responses were also very interesting.
His wife really let him down. How should he handle it and move on? pic.twitter.com/naxup8ttbX
— Naija (@Naija_PR) November 11, 2022
Here is what happened.
One Twitter user replied by looking at the whole issue from the perspective of submission. This insinuated that had the wife been submissive, then this could not have happened.
This is the other side of submit to your husband, which she did not do. Why must we always press the victim to yield? What about the offender? She’s the one who should be working overtime to fix her marriage in this case. Parents should also know better and not to meddle! @omambalab
Another response called for the husband to make a decision that may look very ridiculous in African society. Following this decision would ensure that the husband does not bear the responsibility he had not planned for.
Sorry bro.. 1. Call all the coup plotters for a meeting. 2. Do a budget & give them a percentage to be covering. 3. Cut your wife off from pastor’s wife. 4. Make your mum and MIL rotate duties so your wife doesn’t quit her job. 5. It’s either this or you run & leave wife 4 dem. @AlabaOginni
The issue seems to have revolved around the financial responsibility that comes with having children. To which, @Reeejoiceee states that before getting married one ought to have figured out how they will provide for the family.
Before you get married make sure your financially stable to provide for your wife and children. It’s not really her fault, most married women want their own kids. Just try to work hard to provide for your family and stop living in hate. @Reeejoiceee
This Twitter user came to say that they totally understood the husband’s pain. If she made plans with her significant other to wait and he sabotaged the plan, a separation may be the next thing that followed.
If i married someone and told them I wanted to wait and they sabotaged my contraception someone (ripping condom, hiding BC) and I end up pregnant with child I’d be so upset. I’d understand a separation. @FromAerin
Much as forgiveness seems to be the one way to move forward in this marriage, @Ifeade_Lu states that it was the responsibility of the man to have stood up and stated their plan to every person in their circle. Since the husband kept quiet about the whole issue, then he should forgive her.
The response
You can’t really blame her? She let him down first by not trusting the agreement they had, and then she lied and manipulated her partner by telling him to stop with the condoms as she will be taking contraceptives. It’s almost as if she agreed to the 2 years just to get married. @Pengwizzy
According to @Booyoh_, the wife should have kept her side of the agreement. This user stated that the marriage was hers, and therefore allowing third parties was wrong.
Not women blaming this man Why can’t she just have a mind of her own and keep to her side of the agreement It’s her marriage for God sake not her mum or his mum marriage! The marriage burdens is for the both of them to carry so why allow third parties tell you what to do? @Booyoh_
Since the husband felt betrayed and seemed to have lost his trust, moving forward the husband may need to fully forgive the betrayal, as per Anwuli’s opinion.
One response came with finality. From the details of the post, Twitter saw no good intention from the man, stating that he appeared bitter. According to her, the husband should just walk out if he is tired.
Walk out if you’re tired. You never stated any of this with good intentions, no point in staying in that marriage. No matter how pissed n angry you are, the presence of those inestimable jewels(twins) should fill your heart with love. It appears you are a bitter man! @MOTUNBeautyBlisWow! So this reply generated a lot of controversy. Well every one is entitled to their opinion. I will still advise him to get divorce. Marriage is not for the weak ones. Not for some wife who couldn’t stand on her decision with hubby or some husband who felt betrayed and couldn’t @MOTUNBeautyBlis
‘Overlook his wife’s mistake with the presence of their babies. Being financially stable can not be judged by anyone. He could be more financially unstable before that period of 2years, does it mean they will still wait for another 2 years? Cheer up guy and love your family @MOTUNBeautyBlis
Just know your wife is weak with planning and implementation. And, stop seeking advise from people who know nothing about love and marriage. Marriage is full of disappointment, betrayal, and sacrifice but learn to forgive and forget. No marriage is full of roses. Forget Nollywood @MOTUNBeautyBlis
Quit her job bawo? Ment? She will work the work. How can a grown adult not have a mind of her own? All the people that were pushing her should take turns in baby sitting but she no go quit that job. People think because you promise for better for worse it is okay to be foolish. @Uyoyoghene_
As everyone seems to acknowledge the pressure as the source of this decision, this response seems to see the wife as the problem.
I don’t care about the pressure. The problem is the wife. Marriage is about you and your husband, then others. Whatever plan you have without your partner is not a marital plan. Bro. I understand the anger. You did nothing wrong. You both should sit and build a new survival plan. @lollypeezle
The responses came with many perspectives, including the view of the wife as the offender. However, @spryVoice, states that marriage is more than what appears on paper and that the wife is the one who bears the pressure from everyone.
He’s is right to feel betrayed but fails to understand l complexities around marriage & child bearing in his own society. On paper it’s a couple’s decision but in reality, family, peers, immediate community are highly invested. Wife bears pressure from everyone. @SpryVoice
Another Twitter user came to validate the husband’s feelings. Stating that his frustrations were valid. Though the frustrations were valid, the husband ought to be focusing on a way out.
Your frustrations are valid tbf. I mean why are you crying? Crying won’t feed the kids. Completely destabilizing. But it has happened For now focus on a way out. And she must not quit her job o. Everybody will collect. Let’s hope she’s learned her lessons. @theglowstitches
Marriage is a complex relationship especially when the extended family gets involved. A simple plan may fail to be successful due to pressure from these people. However, the responses from this thread have given various unique perspectives on the whole situation.
Check out these other tweets.
The best part of your tweet is “she must not quit her job”. She’s mad!! She went against their agreement, now she wants to quit her job? So that the entire financial burden will be on his head? In this economy? If she quits, he should leave her to fend for herself. @Scartissue101
First of all, stealthing is abuse. Secondly, me as me, I’d leave you to marry my mum, your mum and the pastor’s wife because clearly, they hold that much importance. @Tomapples_
Here are more Twitter responses on different situations worth your time.
13 Interesting Responses To What Happened When People Bumped Into Their Exes At Social Events
Also, check out
Single Lady In Nairobi: When Childlessness Takes Its Toll
For Better Or Worse: He Stayed With His Wife Despite His Kinsmen‘s Objections
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We Were Ready To Get Married And Then His Parents Advised Him Against Marrying A Smart Woman
