I have dated extroverts, but none were like George. He was the definition of the life of the party. He was the type of guy who would stand in a room full of people and start addressing them. Even though I was introverted, I didn’t mind being with a social butterfly. The problems started when I became a third wheel in my own relationship. I never expected that I would still be arguing with a man about his friends at my age, but there I was, asking George to prioritise our relationship.
When we started dating, he wouldn’t go for more than a day without calling or texting me. I was the centre of his world, which felt like a privilege since George was the type of guy who could have any girl he wanted. Getting his attention and keeping it was a win for me.
“You’re so lucky. George never keeps a girl for more than a month.” One of his friends told me.
At the time, I thought that it meant George liked me more than the other girls he dated. However, it was only because I entertained his flirty and rude behaviour. George never treated me like his girlfriend. To him, I was an accessory that he showed off to his friends. Whenever we would hang out, his friends were always around. We never had our private moments.
“Can we go out without your friends?” I asked him after growing frustrated with being a third wheel.
“My friends are important to me. They’ll feel bad if I hang out without them.”
“What about me? What about how I feel?”
“Babe, you’re just my girlfriend. You might not be with me next week or next month, but my friends are always there for me.”
Somehow, I thought his reasoning made sense, and I chose to be an understanding girlfriend. George would cancel dates with me if his friends weren’t coming, and he would go to hang out with them instead. I wasn’t upset with his behaviour because he had convinced me that it was normal to put his friends first.
“You knew I was an extrovert when you met me.” He explained.
“So, will I always be a third wheel in this relationship?” I asked.
“You don’t have to be. If you’re not comfortable, you can end things with me.”
Even after he suggested that we end our relationship because of his friends, I chose to stay. I felt like I was in too deep to leave and that the worst was behind.
“We’ve been dating for four months now. I’ve seen everything I need to see.” I told my friend.
“Are you sure? I think George is too immature for you. Which man in his 30s still chooses his friends over his girlfriend? He should be focused on starting a family, not where his friends are going to party.”
“I know, but we get along so well.”
“It’s just because you don’t question him on anything. Otherwise, he doesn’t treat you that well, and I hope you realise that soon.”
I brushed off my friend’s advice and continued dating George. However, nothing changed. I was emotionally, physically and mentally starved in that relationship. George only gave me attention when he wanted to or when he felt I was almost giving up.
I promised myself many times that I wouldn’t call or text him if he didn’t answer, and would go for weeks without talking to him. Then, I would receive a message from him and smile from ear to ear.
They weren’t even romantic messages. He would mostly send a bland “hey” and I would be swooning as if he wrote me the most romantic poem I’ve ever read. Once he knew that he had my attention, he would go back to his old ways of making me a third wheel in the relationship.
George and I eventually moved in together, and our house became a boys’ club. Every day, one of his friends would come over and on weekends, all of them would hang out at our apartment.
I was no longer a third wheel; I became their servant. I would make dinner for his guests, serve them, clean the dishes, and then tidy up the house when they left. His friends had become so comfortable with me that they would demand that I cater to them.
One of them said to me, “You know you’re like our wife now. If you don’t take good care of us, we’ll tell George to dump you.”
I would laugh off such comments since I assume they were joking. Nonetheless, I spent the better part of that relationship taking care of George and his entire friend group.
I became accustomed to that life since I wanted a future with George. However, the only issue I had was that George didn’t appreciate anything I did. To him, it was my responsibility as his girlfriend to take care of his friends. I never got a ‘thank you’ or a ‘you’re the best’ from him. Yet, I didn’t know many girls who would do what I did. My friends used to beg me daily to leave George but I stayed.
Naturally, I grew tired of doing things for the home and his friends without any appreciation. I also didn’t see our relationship going anywhere. George treated me more like a maid than his girlfriend, yet we both paid bills in the house.
After nearly two years of dating George, my eyes opened. I was ready to leave him and move on with my life. I didn’t want any bad blood between us, so I chose to break the news to him in person. My friend insisted on coming with me in case he tried to do something to me.
“I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore,” I said as soon as we met.
“Okay.” He answered nonchalantly and then stood up to leave.
After that brief and anticlimactic conversation, I went to our apartment and packed my things. George didn’t come back that night. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. I continued packing until 3 am when I finally got tired and went to bed.
The following day, I woke up early and finished packing my things, then called a mover to take them to my friend’s place. George didn’t reach out to me. He has never apologised for how he treated me. At times, I feel like calling him and telling him how bad of a person he is, but I realize it’s not worth the effort.
Check out
The Singlehood Series: He Claimed That I Only Liked Him For His Money
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I Don’t Know Why I Always End Up Being Attracted To Women Who Are In My Close Friends’ Circle
She Expected Him To Treat Her The Way His Friends Treated Their Girlfriends
I Found Out That She Was Still Married After Dating Her For A Year
