Let’s talk about something that can be tough: falling for someone when everyone around you is giving you the side-eye about it. You know that feeling, right? When your friends are shooting you those “we need to talk” texts, and family members are clearing their throats before launching into “I’m just concerned about you” conversations.
Here is ALTHEA and Matu’s story: Our friends warned us not to date each other – Althea and Matu
On this episode of The Dating Stories with Miss Keri, the couple Althea and Matu share their unique love journey that began with a simple lunch and a surprising sense of familiarity. What was meant to be an hour-long meet-up turned into a three-hour conversation that felt like reconnecting with an old friend.
Despite discouragement from friends, labelling Althia a “man-eater” and doubting Matu’s emotional stability, they chose to trust their connection. Althia shares how listening to God, not outside opinions, led her to a love that changed her life.
Now married with a daughter, Althia (a communications consultant) and Matu (a CEO) reflect on their contrasting childhoods and how they’ve built a relationship rooted in trust, grace, and divine timing.
Their story is a reminder to look beyond perception and follow your heart, with faith.
That awkward moment when…
It’s weird when people start questioning your relationship. Suddenly, those brunches with friends turn into subtle interrogations:
- “So… how are things going with Alex?”
- “Have you thought about what your mom said?”
- “I just feel like you could do better, that’s all!”
- Let’s be honest, it shakes you. There’s that nagging doubt that creeps in: “Wait, do they see something I’m completely missing here?”
Dating shouldn’t feel like you’re making some rebellious statement, but suddenly it does.
What’s going on
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed: when people push back against your relationship, it’s often more about them than you. Like when:
- Your college buddies can’t wrap their heads around you dating someone who didn’t go to college,
- Your religious family freaks out because your partner has different beliefs,
- Your friends get weird because your new person doesn’t fit neatly into your usual social circle.
- Sometimes it’s just that protective thing where your bestie got burned in a similar relationship and is projecting that whole experience onto yours.
- Or maybe they’ve only met your partner twice at noisy group gatherings and are making massive judgments based on barely any interaction.
The silver linings nobody talks about
I know this sounds strange, but relationships that face pushback often end up stronger in some ways:
- You get clear on what matters to you in a partner (because you’ve had to think about it way more than most people)
- You learn to have difficult conversations early on (“So my family said this thing…”)
- You figure out how to set boundaries without being a jerk about it
- Honestly, there’s something powerful about consciously choosing someone day after day, rather than just drifting into a relationship that everyone automatically approves of.
How to handle the pressure without losing your mind
If you’re in one of these relationships, here’s what I’ve found works:
Trust yourself when:
- You’ve thought about the concerns, but they don’t match your experience.
- Your relationship brings out good things in both of you.
- Your partner can talk calmly about the situation without trash-talking your friends.
- Your core values line up, even if you’re different on the surface.
- You can see that the objections are more about other people’s stuff than actual problems.
Maybe take a second look when:
- Different people who don’t even know each other are raising the same concerns.
- You’ve gradually lost touch with everyone who cares about you.
- You’re changing fundamental beliefs or values to make things work.
- Your partner is actively encouraging you to cut off friends who’ve voiced concerns.
- You’re starting to notice patterns that match the warnings you’ve gotten.
Finding that middle ground
The trick isn’t ignoring everyone or letting them run your love life. It’s figuring out which concerns deserve your attention and which ones say more about other people’s limitations.
I’ve found it helps to regularly check in with yourself about how you’re feeling in the relationship, talk things through with a few friends who can be objective, build connections with people who support your relationship, keep communication open with concerned friends (without getting defensive), and get comfortable saying, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not looking for relationship advice right now.”
When differences make you stronger
Some of the relationships that face the most resistance are the ones that cross boundaries, cultural, religious, lifestyle, or socioeconomic differences that make people uncomfortable.
What’s fascinating is how these differences can create the richest relationships. Partners from different worlds challenge each other’s assumptions and bring fresh perspectives that similar couples might never experience.
The question isn’t whether differences exist, but whether they create toxic conflict or interesting growth. Honestly, that answer rarely comes from outside warnings, it comes from living it.
Listening to your gut
At the end of the day, there’s a clarity that comes when you tune out all the noise. Only two people truly know what goes on in your relationship: you and your partner.
Instead of constantly defending your choice to others, focus on honestly evaluating it together. A healthy relationship doesn’t need everyone’s stamp of approval, it just needs to be supportive and growth-oriented for both of you.
Following your heart doesn’t mean plugging your ears to all input. It means developing the wisdom to filter that input through your values and experiences. It means trusting yourself to recognise truth, even when it contradicts what everyone else is saying.
For many couples who’ve weathered this kind of resistance, the journey strengthens their relationship and builds their ability to live authentically in all areas of life.
Maybe that’s the real takeaway: The most meaningful relationships aren’t necessarily the ones everybody approves of, but the ones that help both people become their best, most authentic selves, regardless of who gets it from the outside.
Check out
Relationships: When Your Family Does Not Like Your Partner
Signs Your Friends Don’t Like Your Boyfriend
Relationships: How To Warn Your Friend About Their Partner
The Double Life Dilemma: How To Handle Discovering Your Partner’s Secret Affairs
