Sarah’s grandmother often said that womanhood is hard. Like many other African families, those words were often regurgitated among female members of her family without much analysis. When things got tough as a mother or wife, this was the reference phrase. It first applied to her months after she got married to Martin.
Martin was what society termed an eligible bachelor. He was easy on the eye and excelled in his career. He spoke so much about family values and keeping the family together that it was a no-brainer for Sarah when he asked her out. He was serious about settling down and decided to make his intentions known to Sarah’s parents. They loved him. Their daughter had snagged a good one.
Martin and Sarah wasted no time and were soon expecting their firstborn. The situation also came with more. Sarah had just started her third trimester when she noticed lipstick on Martin’s shirt while sorting out the laundry. He had been coming home late more frequently but was still invested in her pregnancy, so she couldn’t complain. She could feel something was off, but he was still fulfilling his obligations.
She said nothing about the lipstick. A week later or so, Martin came home smelling of a female perfume. Thank pregnancy for the heightened sense of smell because he couldn’t gaslight her into believing she was wrong. After mumbling explanations, he finally confessed he was with a female colleague.
“Was this the same one with the lipstick?” Sarah asked him.
“What lipstick?” Martin asked.
“The lipstick on your shirt last week. Nouba number 68,” replied Sarah.
“What?” Martin asked again.
“The lipstick shade,” Sarah told him.
“It was probably from a client I had met,” Martin tried to shrug it off.
Sarah wasn’t satisfied with the outcome of that conversation. She decided to go to Martin’s workplace. It was a small office, and everybody knew her. She went around greeting everybody in a friendly manner. Meanwhile, she had her own agenda. Finally, she got to Martin and told him that she was just in the vicinity. She decided to drop by and give him some fruits she had picked on the way.
Martin found it slightly suspicious, but the fruits threw him off. He found a storm waiting for him at home. Sarah had identified the girl in the office with the lipstick shade she had found in his shirt. She’d gone a step further to find his colleagues on social media and made a connection between some of the posts the girl made and times Martin had been home late.
Caught off guard and ridden with the guilt of cheating on his pregnant wife, Martin came clean. He didn’t have enough time to conjure a lie. Sarah waited for the weekend when she was off work to cry to her mother. While her mother listened, she finally reminded her that womanhood was hard. The idea of being a single mother seemed more complicated than forgiving her unfaithful husband.
The saying goes, once a cheat, always a cheat, and Martin wasn’t about to disprove them. By the time their firstborn turned six months, one more woman was in the mix. Suddenly, everything felt like it was falling apart. She was struggling to adjust to her new motherhood status and deal with the betrayal from Martin.
This time, she decided to go to a friend for advice. Everything was overwhelming. She knew she loved her child deep down, but she found herself wishing she hadn’t decided to be a mother. Then she would be ridden with guilt, remembering how much she had prayed for a child. She’d seen other women struggle, and yet she was complaining. She felt ungrateful but couldn’t seem to enjoy it.
“Sarah, I can’t tell you what to do about your marriage, but I can tell you motherhood is hard. What you’re feeling happens more times than women care to admit. You’ll have to dig deeper to tap into your strength to be a good mother to that child. The stuff in your marriage isn’t making things easier, but your child needs you right now,” said Sarah’s friend.
It was better than being told womanhood is hard, but it also meant that she had to toughen up for her child. Sarah also decided that staying with Martin was the best thing for her family. Forgiving him wasn’t easy, and she wasn’t even sure she had fully forgiven him, but focusing on their child helped.
A year later, Martin was back at it again. This time, it wasn’t a colleague but a popular lady in their circles. Sarah had just found out that she was pregnant with their second child. At the same time, she was also planning her first child’s baptism.
On the baptism day, Martin awkwardly said hello to a lady outside the church. Sarah wondered if that was another one of his women but didn’t dwell too much on the matter. The universe has a way of ordering things, and Sarah was about to find that out. During the baptism, she stood beside the lady who had spoken to Martin earlier.
The kid was fussy during the process, so he attracted much attention, including from Sarah. That was when she noticed the child looked like a younger version of Martin. She had seen Martin’s baby photos before.
“Could this be Martin’s child?” Sarah wondered.
It didn’t take her long to confirm it. As the priest poured water on the child’s forehead, she noticed a birthmark on his arm. Martin had a similar one. She also caught Martin staring at the child. It took everything in her not to walk out of the church before the end of the ceremony.
She managed to be calm enough to leave the church but confronted Martin as soon as they left the gate.
“That is your child, Martin, isn’t it?” Said Sarah.
“I didn’t know how to tell you about it,” Martin confessed.
“How old is that child?”Sarah asked.
“A few months. I was with her before our child was born. By the time I found out she was pregnant, we were trying to make things work, but I didn’t know how you would react to this news,” said Martin.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” Sarah asked.
“I just never found the right moment, and now, with another child on the way…”
Later that evening, Sarah had sharp pains and lost her pregnancy. When Martin tried to comfort her, she couldn’t stand his touch. At that moment, she knew the cost of keeping her family together was too high.
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