Important Questions To Ask Yourself When Your Partner Asks You To Become A Housewife

When adults get into a relationship, they get swept up in the romance of it all. The honeymoon phase is a swimming feeling. It encompasses you and makes you revel in the joys of infatuation. But when you get caught up in it, you start to think that you need to do everything to spend time together. For many couples, this is when they move in. And when both partners have careers, their busy schedules make spending a lot of quality time together difficult. After some years, and even after getting kids, some men ask their partners to stay home full-time. Being a housewife is a big ask and it requires a lot more consideration.

In other instances, when a woman has a more successful partner, she wants to quit a full-time job and stay at home. Choosing to become a single-income home is a privilege some people can afford but it’s also something that a couple needs to discuss extensively. Some men also ask their partners not to work full-time but instead open a business where they can work from home. Businesses that require minimal oversight from owners like salons, dry-cleaning operations, or general shops are commonly chosen. So, to be a stay-at-home wife still comes with labour even when you want to leave your job. What should women who want to leave the workplace for their partner consider? Financial Discussions Couples Should Have Before They Get Married

Are you ready to be a housewife?

1. Think about why you’re quitting your job

When your partner asks you to quit your job, are you doing it just because he asked or does it align with your goals? If you’re working a dead-end job that has no career growth, becoming a stay-at-home spouse can sound tempting. But what would it mean for your career? What if the relationship didn’t work out and you wanted to go back to work, would the gap in your CV make it more difficult? If your goal was to become a housewife, wouldn’t it be better to do it when you’re more advanced in your career and education? Is it a decision you want to make for yourself or one you’re making because of your partner? Did they give the option as an offer or an ultimatum?

2. Can you be a successful single-income couple?

The current state of the world brings with it increased costs of living and lower purchasing power. Unless your spouse is comfortably wealthy, or you have a nest egg, it’s not conducive to becoming a housewife when you can barely afford it. Some partners can promise to provide you with a stipend but this may not be enough for daily upkeep of the home and personal needs. The pressure of supporting a non-working spouse can also strain the relationship. In addition, having to rely on someone else for your livelihood can also be difficult to navigate because this person can withhold money as a form of financial abuse. 5 Signs You Are Experiencing Financial Abuse In Your Relationship

3. Are you ready for a change of lifestyle?

Sometimes, you can choose to become a housewife because the labour of managing children, a home, and a career are too difficult. You and your partner then decide you’re better off staying at home rather than spending extra money on domestic managers and nannies. However, if you’re used to the fast-paced environment of a corporate job or the excitement of managing a busy business, home life can be difficult to adjust to. Having your life surrounded by chores, nanny duties, and running errands for no pay can be demanding. This is something you need to think about fully before committing to staying home full-time.

4. Is it something your spouse is willing to do?

Your partner can ask you to be a housewife for different reasons. They want to pamper you, they want you to take care of their home, or they want you to be at home where they can keep an eye on you. To be certain of their intentions, ask them if they’d be willing to be a stay-at-home husband. If you have a lucrative career but he’s insisting that you let it go and manage a business or two from home, would he do the same? Would he be willing to leave his job to manage the home for no pay? Would he trust you to provide enough upkeep money? Is he willing to change his lifestyle and take on childcare duties full-time? If he says he wouldn’t do that because he is a man then he is insisting you become a stay-at-home wife because of gender-based roles rather than having mutual goals. Relationships: The Fair Play Method Of Dividing Housework And Childcare

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5. Are you ready to spend more time alone?

Full-time jobs require a lot of interaction. From commutes, and workplaces, to meetings with clients, a full-time job involves interacting with the world. When you decide to become a housewife, this means no more endless interactions with people. If you don’t have kids, your home becomes your focal point and you have to create a new network. This includes finding other stay-at-home mums who have free time. If you have children, they become your entire social life. Are you willing to change your social life?

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6. Do you struggle to work without checks and balances?

Being a housewife means not having work metrics or goals that are rewarded with bonuses or salary raises. When you work for your home, all you have as a reward system is a clean and organised house that you have to keep reorganising. Being at an office or business helps you remain motivated through ambition. However, when you are a stay-at-home spouse, you have to motivate yourself. This can take a toll. You should only consider committing to a stay-at-home lifestyle if you don’t struggle to work without structure.

7. Would you still be able to care for your children if your partner left?

When you’re a housewife, taking care of the home is your top priority and sometimes that means giving up your job to focus on your house and kids. If you’re a working wife, a steady income gives you more options in the event of any sudden changes. But when you’re a housewife, your options are limited to the home. Should your husband divorce you, or die, will you be able to remain in the property you’ve been living in? A housewife will always mean limited options and even if your husband is generous in the beginning, what happens if he becomes irreversibly absent?

8. How much financial support will your husband provide?

When your partner asks you to be a housewife, that means you are relying on them for your livelihood. If they are wealthy, they should provide a steady stipend for upkeep, maintenance, the children, and yourself. They should also provide money for more than utilities. You shouldn’t remain bored or unkempt just because you’re a housewife. A partner that asks you to stay at home needs to make sure they still maintain a pleasant lifestyle for you. In addition, they should provide funds in a separate account that only you have control over. Domestic work is labour. Is your partner willing to compensate for that generously?

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9. Have you listened to other women’s stories?

In this day and age, people are more connected than ever. Before giving up a career for a stay-at-home lifestyle, have you listened to what other women have experienced? Without having to take unnecessary risks yourself, you can find out how being a housewife could affect you. The trad wife trend on social media makes the glamourous housewife lifestyle seem easy. However, it’s important to remember that most of the women promoting this lifestyle on social media are working as content creators. They are working from home. Others are also from wealthy families and will remain fine no matter what happened to them.

When you are considering your partner’s request to be a housewife, are you listening to women who have spoken about how their husbands ended up controlling their lives? Their partners made them give up their friendships and limited how much freedom they have often retaliating with withholding money when their wives “defied” them. In other stories, when their partners opened businesses for them, they remained the owners. In the event of a divorce, their wives didn’t get to keep the business. Being a housewife sounds like a fairytale. Not having to work can sound liberating but it’s better to do it on your terms. Perhaps after working to save up for retirement aggressively. Giving up a career for a husband is something a woman needs to think long and hard on. And when you do, ensure you are legally protected in the event of anything.