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The Singlehood Series: He Was A Deadbeat Father To His Child But Wanted To Take Care Of Mine

Photo by Greta Hoffman : https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-father-playing-with-his-daughter-outside-9705779/

The Singlehood Series: He Was A Deadbeat Father To His Child But Wanted To Take Care Of Mine

Lawrence seemed like a serious suitor, but his situation with his child and baby mama deterred me from accepting his proposal.

Singlehood Series by Singlehood Series
1 March 2024
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I was introduced to Lawrence by a business acquaintance. I needed something, and Lawrence came highly recommended. He was easy to talk to. If you weren’t privy to the details of our interaction, you’d have thought we had known each other for ages.

He sounded interesting, but mixing business and pleasure is always bad. In any case, with people knowing each other in our line of business, dating inside that pool is not a wise choice. However, Lawrence started texting me more frequently.

He would respond to my posts on social media, and the conversations steered from strictly business to general topics. He was hilarious and competitive. A simple chat would turn into a whole-blown debate, which I found engaging most of the time.

One time, he called me about work, and my child was talking in the background.

“Oh, you’re a mom?” Asked Lawrence.

“Yes, I am,” I responded.

“How many children?” Lawrence asked.

“Just one at the moment,” I responded.

“I have a daughter, but she lives with her mother. We have plenty in common,” Lawrence said.

We talked about the age of the children without talking about the other parents. A week later, Lawrence asked me out.

“I would like you to accompany me to a friend’s event this weekend,” said Lawrence.

“What kind of event?” I asked him.

“My friend’s kid is turning one. You can bring your child too since more kids will be around,” he said.

“Okay, let me get back to you on that,” I told him.

I eventually agreed to attend the party with him but didn’t go with my child. It was at this party that I got to know him better. He had a hold on his boys. They seemed to go along with what he said. I also got the impression from their discussions as friends that he was doing well financially. He was also right about children having fun at the party.

“Having fun?” Lawrence asked later on.

“Yes, I am. It must be the most fun one-year-old birthday party I have attended,” I told him.

“Stick with me, baby, and you’ll have more of such moments,” Lawrence responded.

That interaction made me see in a different light. He stopped being just a business acquaintance and became someone I liked. Lawrence was always the man with a plan on how to have fun. He loved life and adventure, so there was always something new to try out with him. He also asked me to bring along my child occasionally, but I declined the offer. After going out on several dates, I felt like it was time to have an uncomfortable discussion.

It was Thursday evening after he had taken me out for dinner. We had a 360-degree view of that part of the city from the restaurant. The hotel rotated, and it gave us plenty to talk about. He spoke of his other businesses and interactions with other people. Undoubtedly, he was good at what he did, but I could also hear traces of arrogance in those stories. At the end of the night, we had a serious conversation.

“You do know I really like you, right? I want you to be my girlfriend,” said Lawrence.

“A Kiuk man who formally asks this? Colour me impressed,” I joked.

“I am full of surprises; you’ll want to stick around,” replied Lawrence.

“So I’m learning. On the real though, you know I don’t come alone so I would like to know what your intentions are. You also have a child; I’d also like to know how that would fit into this before making any commitments,” I told him.

“I know you have a child, and I want to be part of your life. I have already asked to bring your child, but you’ve seemed hesitant,” said Lawrence.

“Yes, I prefer not to have my child meet my romantic interests until the relationships are solid,” I responded.

“Fair enough,” he said.

“So what about your situation?” I asked him.

“I got one of my ex-girlfriends pregnant. I didn’t want to settle down, but she couldn’t give me access to the child unless I were with her,” Lawrence narrated.

“That’s unfortunate. So, do you take care of the child? Do you send monetary support? How long ago was this, by the way?” I asked Lawrence.

“The kid is six years old. No, I will not send my money and not have access to her. I tried reaching out, but the child’s mother is unreasonable,” Lawrence replied.

“Have you tried going about it the legal way?” I asked him.

“No, the child’s mother thought she could extort me, but I put a break on that before it could even take off,” said Lawrence. There was almost a hint of pride when he said it.

“Don’t you think you’re punishing the kid for someone else’s mistakes?” I asked Lawrence.

“She’ll get to understand my choices when she’s older and comes to look for me,” Lawrence responded.

I didn’t press him further on the matter. I also asked for a few days to think about his proposal. He had treated me right and said the right things. He had even bought my child toys and treats when I went shopping with him after a date, but his situation with his baby mama and child made me hesitant. I wondered why he couldn’t fight for his child, yet he had the means. It didn’t make sense to me that he could neglect his biological child but want to take care of mine.

I didn’t tell him why I declined his proposal because people often say, “You don’t know the whole story.” However, his situation didn’t sit well with me, so I declined his proposal.

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