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The Singlehood Series: I Loved Him So Much That I Stayed When I Should Have Left So I Ended Up In An On-And-Off Relationship For Years

Woman looking sad in bed. Image from https://melanmag.com/2019/11/26/black-girls-dont-cry-marverine-cole/

The Singlehood Series: I Loved Him So Much That I Stayed When I Should Have Left So I Ended Up In An On-And-Off Relationship For Years

He tried to make me accept his polygamous lifestyle but I wasn't the type of girl who shared a man.

Singlehood Series by Singlehood Series
20 December 2023
in The Singlehood Series
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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Nobody likes being taken for granted, especially by people they love. Usually, most people walk away when they feel like someone isn’t valuing them. It’s the best thing to do to avoid further humiliation. However, some situations are hard to escape. I never planned on being entangled in an on-and-off relationship but unfortunately, I fell in love with the wrong person.

I was 26 years old at the time and feeling myself. I’d go out almost every evening with some of my workmates. That was how I met Mike. He was seated by himself in a dark corner. His table was littered with all kinds of things – car keys, an iPad, a newspaper, a bottle of whiskey, pack of cigarettes. You name it. He seemed lost in his world but the waiters stood close by in case he needed something.

Something was mesmerizing about him. I watched him for a while as he sipped his whiskey and scrolled on his iPad. Then, he got up, picked up his belongings, handed the waiter a few thousand notes then headed out. I was disappointed since I was fantasizing about how he would come to ask my name and we would live happily ever after. I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so I ran out and tried to catch up but I didn’t see him.

While walking back, I bumped into him at the entrance.

“Hi.” He said with a smile on his face.

“Hi,” I answered, almost blushing.

I pulled myself together and stood confidently but anytime he talked I couldn’t help but swoon.

“You’re really pretty. Do you come here often?” He asked.

“Yes, this is one of my favourite spots.”

“Oh, I’ve never seen you around.”

“How will you see me when all your face is buried in your iPad.”

“I’m sorry. I have had so much work lately. I’m headed back to the office.”

“So you can’t take any time off?”

“I can take time off for you. Let me have your number. I’ll call you when I leave the office. Will you still be here?”

“Yeah. It’s Friday. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

I had met many guys in the past but none had made me feel the way Mike did that day. As I said, there was something special about him.

He came back to the club later that night and joined our table. Everyone liked him, especially since he bought us drinks and shisha. We went home together and the following day, he took me for breakfast before dropping me off at my place.

“See you soon, beautiful.”

We didn’t officially get in a relationship but he did everything that a boyfriend would do. We talked every day and met up regularly. I used to spend weeks at his place.

The relationship just flowed naturally. There was nothing forced since we were on the same page. However, they say when the deal is too good, think twice. I always wondered what was amiss in the relationship. Mike provided everything for me yet I had a gut feeling that something was wrong.

I thought that he was one of those romance scammers because he knew all the right things to say and do. However, he was the one who paid for everything and never asked me to give him any money.

“How can someone be so perfect?” I asked my workmate.

“Don’t overthink things. Just enjoy the moment. You deserve the princess treatment.”

I tried to take my workmate’s advice but it turned out my suspicions were right all along. Mike was a certified lover boy. He had not one, not two but three girlfriends. How he managed to hide it from me so well, I’ll never know. However, he came clean after being in a relationship with him for over a year.

Naturally, I was upset and ended the relationship but a few weeks later, we reconciled and continued our lives as if nothing had happened. I didn’t confront him about the other relationships but I assumed he had ended things with the other girls.

He hadn’t. I suppose one of the girls found out that we had gotten back together and thought I should know that she was still seeing Mike.

“Why didn’t you end the relationship?” I asked her.

“Where would I find a guy like Mike? If he wants to have 10 girlfriends, let him as long as he’s taking care of your needs.”

She was right. Being in a relationship with Mike was amazing. He didn’t just take care of the bills, he made me feel loved. I didn’t know whether to end the relationship again. However, I wasn’t comfortable with the thought of sharing my man. I tried but I couldn’t.

We ended up breaking up again and I thought that was the end of the relationship. Mike tried to convince me to get back together with him several times but I was adamant. Finally, he promised to end things with the other girls.

“I’ve ended the other relationships.” He said, then sent me screenshots of messages between him and the girls telling them that he was ending the relationship.

I was convinced and we got back together. For some time, Mike was monogamous and I thought that he had changed. However, it didn’t last long. I found out he was back to his old way after finding messages between him and another girl.

It was so frustrating because Mike was a great boyfriend but I knew that the relationship wouldn’t amount to anything since I would never be okay with sharing a man, no matter how perfect he is.

Finally, we ended the relationship for good after dating for three years. I felt lost since I was almost in my 30’s and I was single yet most of my friends were getting married and having kids. However, I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than what I knew I deserved.

Check out

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I Went On A Date With My Crush And He Asked Me To Be His Side Chick

I Agreed To Be In A Polyamorous Relationship But He Still Cheated On Me

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:Dating As A Single Mum Has Made Me Very Sensitive About Men Questioning My Parenting Skills 

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Singlehood Series

The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.

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